Turmoil. That is how it started. Within a day of conception, my body completely changed. I had no idea that I was pregnant, but I was sure that nobody ever had symptoms that early. I was sure that I would NEVER be able to handle a pregnancy again because I was a wreck! I went from feeling energetic, finally having a regular exercise schedule, feeling like I could have a really successful school year, etc. to completely tanking. I was exhausted, couldn't recover from swimming when I exercised, I would feel cold and wiped out all day long! I was starting to feel like a sinus infection was on the horizon, and I was suddenly incredibly irritable and anti-social.
It is kind of funny now that I didn't realize it, but I have truly never had pregnancy symptoms so early! I thought I was going crazy. I hightailed it over to the chiropractor for an adjustment and some other treatments. "You're in turmoil," he said. "Exactly," I thought. I have had enough of feeling crappy this year!
Peace. The positive pregnancy test brought peace. Duh. I'm not going crazy!
But really, having it be the 8th time I just feel more chill about it. I'm doing what I have to to survive, but I'm not stressing. I've had plenty of nausea, but no throwing up. The nausea has been mostly managed by resting on the couch all morning, sleeping on and off while I direct homeschool traffic, chores, and Simon's violin practice. Grumpy? Yes. But knowing why makes it easier to bear and catch myself before I say anything too offensive. Or say sorry quickly afterwards :) We've still had a really great school year and the house isn't completely falling apart. The kids are great at keeping up with their chores and fixing meals hasn't made me too queasy. So when people have asked me how I'm feeling, I say, "pretty crummy, but its okay." Because it is. I'm really thankful to be dealing with it pretty well.
I think the hardest thing is that I feel so anti-social. I don't think I've ever felt that way before. It is just hard for me to be around people, and I can't stand having commitments outside my home. I've really had to grin and bear it for all of the homeschool activities we are involved in this year. I don't want to deal with anyone's expectations of me and I don't want to be a burden to anyone with my lower level of functioning. And I get my feelings hurt easily and that is so annoying!
I also haven't felt like writing at all. I haven't felt like reflecting, recording, anything. I think it is because if I have any spare moments I just want to SLEEP. And so I do. The food is better and the naps are better when you are pregnant, for sure.
So really, it has been okay. It has been a peaceful, happy first trimester.
