How can there be more to write about December???
But I need to at least write about Giving Day. It is my favorite Christmas tradition to help each of my kids make each family member a special gift. And I have to write about shopping dates, because it is going to be a new tradition.
Because of the Mexico project, our Christmas budget was small this year. We decided to just spend $20 to fill each person's stocking. I had the older kids help play Santa for each other. I took each of them on a special date out to eat and shopping for their sibling. It was the perfect way to shop for Christmas, by giving my kids what they really want: time with me. We had a wonderful time and were surprised at how far we made that $20 go. The younger kids didn't buy sibling gifts because I knew it would be hard to keep a secret, but they still got a date and bought their cousin gift with me.
It was so much better than in years past when I'm doing all of the shopping by myself and trying to keep it all straight and make sure everyone has equal gifts and sometimes just buying stuff to even the score. This was joyful and meaningful, and so much fun in so many ways! The kids loved filling the stockings on Christmas Eve, and they loved the joy of watching their siblings open the specially chosen gifts.
Even though Giving Day was squeezed in between packing up for Mexico and our Idaho trip, and we knew we had to leave the next day, it was wonderful. We woke up and ate breakfast and started the game. We drew names and everyone got to share their special gifts. I was helping Ruby finish one of her gifts while we sat there, but it was finished just in time!
Who gave what:
Dad: Dallin miraculously came up with 8 incredible poems that perfectly matched each member of the family. I had to dry my eyes more than once as he read these individualized poems that he was able to pen so quickly. He started in October, but only had 3 of them done by mid-December. There were some late nights and serious editing sessions, but he did it and they made up some of his very best work.
Sarah: What a blessing that I made microwavable "corn bags" for each of my kids at the Sisters' retreat in the fall. I tried to pick out fabrics that matched each kid. They love them and are still loving them as I write this (in March). They stay warm in your bed all night long.
Nathan: It had to be snowball cookies. It was so sad that he was making dozens and dozens of cookies all December but they weren't for the kids to taste! He made up for it as each person got their own little baggie of them.
Brandon: This year Brandon did the ultimate gift. I got a coupon for some breakfasts in bed. Dallin and Nathan got some cool paracord keychains that he made. The other 5 kids got homemade hobby horses with a pvc pipe stall! It was such a fun project to get out the fake fur that I've collected at various yard sales over the years and realize how perfectly that particular color would match each person's style. We had scraps of PVC for the poles, and bought a little more to make the stall. We even had old tights in just the right colors to cover the pipes and give them a nice finished look. Each one has its own removable halter made from various spools of trim found in my stash. Sullivan got a blue-grey named Dobbin with a duck halter. Sarajoy got a white unicorn with a pink horn and fancy pink halter named Princess, of course. Daisy got a bright red horse with a white star on its forehead and a white rickrack halter: Red Velvet. Ruby got a white horse with a brown patch down its nose and I can't remember its name. Simon got a dark blue horse with a silver diamond on its nose named Blaze. He had them all in their stall with nametags and covered it with a blanket. It was so great to have the kids hop on their horses and ride them around and around the kitchen island.
Ruby: She made Nathan an awesome reusable sack lunch bag out of old corduroy pants with velcro and a snap to make different sizes. Brandon got a Kindle case out of the same great material. It had pants pockets just the right sizes for his earbuds and cord and book. Dallin got a new chapstick/nailclipper holder that looks like a cute little sweater. It keeps his chapstick from rolling around in his pocket and rolling itself up into the lid. Daisy got a sweet little fleece blanket for the lifelike doll she got for her birthday. Sarajoy got a needlepoint bear and candy cane ornament and Sullivan got a nursery rhyme piggie ornament. Simon has this goofy looking little doll that he wanted so he could have matching clothes with it like the girls have American Dolls. It was one of those Ebay purchases that just doesn't come looking like you imagined it. But he loved it, and had been making stapled together outfits for it. Ruby and I made it the cutest little Santa suit, and it finally didn't look so weird. It was made to wear that Santa suit, and Simon absolutely loved it! Ruby made me a pillow that she had embroidered with a picture of a temple and "Families Are Forever" on it. I was so impressed with what a great job she did on a project she did without help!
Daisy: She just really really loves making chocolate-dipped pretzels for us! It is fun and easy, and it made a great snack for our trip to Idaho.
Simon: This was another really great project. Simon invented a toy recently that was pretty ingenious. He took a toilet paper roll and made it look like a grasshopper and showed me how if you press on one end, it actually hops! We saved toilet paper tubes, and he made a reindeer, a cheetah, a cat, a bunny, a monster, a bear, a frog, and a dog. He was a little sad that I knew what he was making so I told him he could make mine by himself and I would be surprised. I almost cried a little when I opened my gift and saw he had made me the cutest elephant (my favorite animal) that I've ever seen!
Sarajoy: I knew I was going to have her help me with the photo ornaments I do each Christmas, but I didn't know what I would do. You do photo ornaments for a few years and you start running out of ideas! I ventured over to Pinterest for my first time, and saw some really cute cookie-cutter ornaments. I suddenly remembered that I had bought a box of silver cookie cutters 2 years ago after Christmas and forgotten about them! She helped me glue the pictures and put glitter on them and wrap them up.
Sullivan helped me make and hand out snack bags to take on our trip.
When we got up to Idaho, I had a great time helping my mom with final food preparations and helping her finish up a few sewing projects. She was very generous and bought each of the grandkids a miniature pillow pet. She purchased so many of them it was really hard to choose which ones my kids would like best!! And she surprised my kids by having a few "Santa" gifts under the tree that they were not expecting. Nice shirts for the boys, a Karaoke machine and a Hairstyling head for the girls. Play dishes for Sarajoy. A mini soccer ball for Sullivan. A fun little playmobil set for several of them. Nerf guns and a toolbox for Simon that he can lock up with the locks and keys he got for his birthday. I got them a rubberband bracelet loom and the game Spot It which both have been a lot of fun. We are so grateful that she was willing to make the day extra special that way. We always love Christmas breakfast Souffle, and we had our Porter Party on the very day since it was the day we could all be together. A lot of really great talents were shared and we had a fun gift exchange where I got to reveal to the Stingers the menu plan/shopping list system that I use and customized for their family. I also got them each a treat they enjoy. My mom blessed us with a really neat family history binder with the stories about many of my ancestors. She also got us some of our special wishes and surprised me with my own little playmobil set of Santa's workshop. Never too old to get toys for Christmas, I say! I love watching what everybody gives at the gift exchange for adults. We were blessed to get the "grinch bag" for the first time. It usually contains some kind of gag gift. It had a Grinch shirt for Dallin and an Uncle Si Chia pet. That lovely thing graced our counter for weeks in its green-bearded splendor!
There will always be things I forget, but it was a very memorable Christmas!
We've Given Up the Easy Life for the Good Life
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
How Do You Put December in a Nutshell?
I just know I'll leave so much out, but I have to at least try.
December was a season of peace and joy.
It was incredibly stressful, busy, crazy, but we were blessed with a spirit of peace.
I am so glad it is over, but I am so glad I got to live it.
First of all, it came way too early this year! Those late Thanksgivings make it surprise you.
I got decorations up the Monday after Thanksgiving and it made me feel already behind because it was December 2nd. We even got some lights up on the outside of the house, which was fun for a change.
That weekend was already pretty busy. I had a practice for a special number in Choralais on Friday night. Saturday morning was the ward breakfast, but Brandon and I missed it because we were at a Speech and Debate tournament in Ogden. There was a huge winter storm warning. I stayed up late watching the weather and finally decided to just go for it. I knew if we had to we could stay at Kim's. The way there the roads were pretty clear. My friend Elisa came with us, so that was really fun. I love having someone to talk to while I drive. We got to do some judging together and just had a nice time visiting. The kids all did really well, with a few in our group being really surprised that they placed.
There were a few inches of snow on the car when we left. They cancelled the last round of the tournament so we could get on the road before dark. I drove slowly, and it wasn't too bad, but there were a few patches where people were sliding all over the freeway. It was a miracle we didn't see an accident. I am not someone who has ever liked to drive, so by the time we got home late that evening, I was pretty exhausted.
The next night was my Choralais concert. It went really well. It is so much fun to sing for the Lord. I just love Christmas music. Dallin brought the kids in time to hear my special number. We didn't know that he was supposed to say the closing prayer. When they announced it, he wasn't there and I didn't know if he was coming for sure. It had been a crazy busy day with church responsibilities, etc. Someone who knew us saw him come stand in the foyer and gave him the message. He thought it was a practical joke, but eventually was convinced and walked up and gave a prayer in his street clothes and winter coat! I was really impressed with the support the choir members gave to Nathan's Eagle project. I'm impressed with their commitment. They are great ladies who love to sing, even if it doesn't sound the best.
During that next week, my visiting teaching companion who is our bishop's wife and our neighbor asked me to help her finish up her daughter's wedding dress. I was excited and honored to be able to help. She has been sending this dress back and forth to Hawaii where her daughter attends college. It has been a pretty stressful project for her because the dress is really fitted, so she wanted me to be there for the trying on. I went over late in the evening that her daughter and fiancee got into town. It was pretty special to be there with the family in such a festive mood. Unfortunately the dress didn't fit. We had to take quite a bit of the lace off and take out some seams. It got past the point that we could help so we left it with her. When I checked back in the following evening, there was still a lot of lace to be sewn back on. The lining was not attached and there were a couple of other small things that needed to be done. It was all hand sewing so I brought it home and watched Little Women with Dallin while I finished it. I was glad to do it. It was the only Christmas movie I got to watch this year. I felt pretty special that I got to be a part of it that way. I took it back over to them at like 2:00am. They were still up and Melissa tried it on and it was beautiful! I was so glad that they could go to bed because they needed to be at the temple early that morning. This all happened after Nate's choir concert which was really nice. Ruby was kind enough to babysit so Dallin and Brandon and I could go.
Friday was a big push to get the fundraiser finished. We knew Nathan had to finish it the next day and we weren't going to be there so we did as much as we could on Friday. We attended the wedding reception that night and got to see the dress and all the fun decorations. It was the first time a lot of my kids have ever been to a reception and they loved it. The people in charge of the Mexico trip just happened to be closely related to our Bishop, so they were at the wedding and Dallin talked to them for a LONG time. I finally took the kids home and went back for him because they were so done!
The next day, Choralais was singing at the Joseph Smith Memorial building in Salt Lake. Since it was on the same day as the Mo Tab concert, we decided to see if we could get in. We brought Ruby with us as a reward for all of her awesome babysitting. We got to take her out to lunch before we got there. After I sang, we went down to the Lion House and got there just in time to beat the rush. We ordered our food and put it in to-go containers and headed over to the stand-by line. It had already begun to form and it was only 5:00. The concert wasn't to start until 8:00. Dallin hid our food in the snow under some bushes because we weren't sure what they would have us do with it. Once we got in and were seated at around 6:30, they let us come and go as needed. I stayed and held our seats while Dallin and Ruby went and explored temple square. When they came back, I took a walk and enjoyed the wonderful light display. We made it in to the concert and were seated just as it began. It was amazing! They told the story of Charles Dickens and A Christmas Carol. They just really know how to do Christmas. I love it more than any other Christmas thing.
We went to the Oakridge pageant where the handicapped kids do a Christmas play. I always have a neat feeling at that, and I am glad our kids get to see it. I always feel such a special place for the families that care for those children.
The rest was a blur of preparing for 3 major events, making millions of cookies, and finding ourselves at Christmas. But Christmas is its own story.
December was a season of peace and joy.
It was incredibly stressful, busy, crazy, but we were blessed with a spirit of peace.
I am so glad it is over, but I am so glad I got to live it.
First of all, it came way too early this year! Those late Thanksgivings make it surprise you.
I got decorations up the Monday after Thanksgiving and it made me feel already behind because it was December 2nd. We even got some lights up on the outside of the house, which was fun for a change.
That weekend was already pretty busy. I had a practice for a special number in Choralais on Friday night. Saturday morning was the ward breakfast, but Brandon and I missed it because we were at a Speech and Debate tournament in Ogden. There was a huge winter storm warning. I stayed up late watching the weather and finally decided to just go for it. I knew if we had to we could stay at Kim's. The way there the roads were pretty clear. My friend Elisa came with us, so that was really fun. I love having someone to talk to while I drive. We got to do some judging together and just had a nice time visiting. The kids all did really well, with a few in our group being really surprised that they placed.
There were a few inches of snow on the car when we left. They cancelled the last round of the tournament so we could get on the road before dark. I drove slowly, and it wasn't too bad, but there were a few patches where people were sliding all over the freeway. It was a miracle we didn't see an accident. I am not someone who has ever liked to drive, so by the time we got home late that evening, I was pretty exhausted.
The next night was my Choralais concert. It went really well. It is so much fun to sing for the Lord. I just love Christmas music. Dallin brought the kids in time to hear my special number. We didn't know that he was supposed to say the closing prayer. When they announced it, he wasn't there and I didn't know if he was coming for sure. It had been a crazy busy day with church responsibilities, etc. Someone who knew us saw him come stand in the foyer and gave him the message. He thought it was a practical joke, but eventually was convinced and walked up and gave a prayer in his street clothes and winter coat! I was really impressed with the support the choir members gave to Nathan's Eagle project. I'm impressed with their commitment. They are great ladies who love to sing, even if it doesn't sound the best.
During that next week, my visiting teaching companion who is our bishop's wife and our neighbor asked me to help her finish up her daughter's wedding dress. I was excited and honored to be able to help. She has been sending this dress back and forth to Hawaii where her daughter attends college. It has been a pretty stressful project for her because the dress is really fitted, so she wanted me to be there for the trying on. I went over late in the evening that her daughter and fiancee got into town. It was pretty special to be there with the family in such a festive mood. Unfortunately the dress didn't fit. We had to take quite a bit of the lace off and take out some seams. It got past the point that we could help so we left it with her. When I checked back in the following evening, there was still a lot of lace to be sewn back on. The lining was not attached and there were a couple of other small things that needed to be done. It was all hand sewing so I brought it home and watched Little Women with Dallin while I finished it. I was glad to do it. It was the only Christmas movie I got to watch this year. I felt pretty special that I got to be a part of it that way. I took it back over to them at like 2:00am. They were still up and Melissa tried it on and it was beautiful! I was so glad that they could go to bed because they needed to be at the temple early that morning. This all happened after Nate's choir concert which was really nice. Ruby was kind enough to babysit so Dallin and Brandon and I could go.
Friday was a big push to get the fundraiser finished. We knew Nathan had to finish it the next day and we weren't going to be there so we did as much as we could on Friday. We attended the wedding reception that night and got to see the dress and all the fun decorations. It was the first time a lot of my kids have ever been to a reception and they loved it. The people in charge of the Mexico trip just happened to be closely related to our Bishop, so they were at the wedding and Dallin talked to them for a LONG time. I finally took the kids home and went back for him because they were so done!
The next day, Choralais was singing at the Joseph Smith Memorial building in Salt Lake. Since it was on the same day as the Mo Tab concert, we decided to see if we could get in. We brought Ruby with us as a reward for all of her awesome babysitting. We got to take her out to lunch before we got there. After I sang, we went down to the Lion House and got there just in time to beat the rush. We ordered our food and put it in to-go containers and headed over to the stand-by line. It had already begun to form and it was only 5:00. The concert wasn't to start until 8:00. Dallin hid our food in the snow under some bushes because we weren't sure what they would have us do with it. Once we got in and were seated at around 6:30, they let us come and go as needed. I stayed and held our seats while Dallin and Ruby went and explored temple square. When they came back, I took a walk and enjoyed the wonderful light display. We made it in to the concert and were seated just as it began. It was amazing! They told the story of Charles Dickens and A Christmas Carol. They just really know how to do Christmas. I love it more than any other Christmas thing.
We went to the Oakridge pageant where the handicapped kids do a Christmas play. I always have a neat feeling at that, and I am glad our kids get to see it. I always feel such a special place for the families that care for those children.
The rest was a blur of preparing for 3 major events, making millions of cookies, and finding ourselves at Christmas. But Christmas is its own story.
A Story About Mexico
Way back in August, I was driving down into Loafer Canyon when I began to think about the money Dallin was getting for his summer paycheck. I had the thought that we needed to save $1000 because somebody would need it at Christmas.
Near the same time, I began thinking about Christmas and if we might want to change things up a bit by going to a hotel in Salt Lake and just enjoying some family time instead of lots of presents. I absolutely love buying presents for my family. It is just hard to make it all work out with such a large family. I sometimes find myself buying stuff we don't really need just to make things come out even, etc. It can get overwhelming. Dallin and I talked about some different ideas. We also tucked that $1000 away where we knew we wouldn't spend it.
Then Dallin went on a hike with our dentist. He heard him talking about a humanitarian trip that their family had done in Mexico. Dallin got more information and found out the first meeting was that Sunday. So we met up with Builders Without Borders and learned about what they do. For $300 per person plus any and all donations you can come up with, you can go with their group to Mexico and build homes and do other humanitarian projects for the week following Christmas. It sounded wonderful, and right in our budget. Originally the plan was for Dallin and I to go with Nathan and Brandon. That meant we had a couple hundred more than our thousand to come up with. We scrimped and moved some things about and worked it out.
The meeting the boys went to got them super excited. Nathan decided to to his Eagle project there and we payed our participation fee. That weekend was my time to wean Sullivan to make it possible for us to go. I really really wanted to go, but I was getting nervous about leaving my 5 younger kids with my mom during a pretty busy time of year. I learned that my brother's family would be staying at her house for most of that time and I was beginning to have some reservations about it. Still, I really wanted to go and didn't know if I'd get another chance and I had my passport ready, so I planned a date to start the weaning process.
The day came, and that morning I was addressing some photo cards we sent out for Thanksgiving. When I got to Dallin's sister's card, an idea came to me. I realized that she might be having Christmas alone this year as she is divorced and her husband lives a few states away from her. I had the thought that I wanted to be sure she had something to ease her loneliness, and I felt sad that we were going to be gone for the whole break. Then I thought that if I had to stay for some reason that she might like to go.
Weaning was a disaster. Sullivan had been growing increasingly insecure leading up to the day, probably because I had tried to talk to him about it and prep him for it. When it actually came time to tell him I couldn't nurse him, he cried and cried. He would sleep for a short time and then cry and cry. Finally I brought him in to my bed to see if he'd just snuggle down, but he went completely ballistic. He was writhing around like an animal and could not calm down, even when I got desperate and offered to nurse him. The whole situation felt so wrong and horrible that I just knew it wasn't going to happen. I didn't want my sweet little boy to have that kind of anxiety and I didn't want his wonderful personality to change. I told Dallin I didn't think I should go to Mexico and that I thought maybe Milee would like to go. He agreed, and what a relief I felt. By this time we were down in the kitchen because he was making so much noise. I finally put him in his time out chair and told him he needed to calm down and come tell mommy what he needed. He finally got down and found me and asked for milk. That decision was made. And I was so happy to find out that Milee was excited about the idea and she began making plans to update her passport, etc. Everybody loved having her along on the trip!
Nathan did a big fundraiser selling CD's of me singing and his specialty snowball cookies. It did amazingly well, raising over 3 times the amount of money he thought he would need. His plan was to gather supplies to take and print and frame family portraits for the people down in Mexico. A similar project had been done a couple of years ago and had been really successful, with some people getting their first ever photo taken. The whole thing was a lot of work for all of us, but I am proud of how much he took charge and made sure it happened. One of his biggest days was a day Dallin and I were in Salt Lake all day, but he managed to work things out really well. At the very last minute, the printer that had been donated did not work, so we had to head out to find a printer that he could take down. There were a few upsets like that, but there was just a feeling that everything would work out so we didn't get ruffled. And all of this was going on during the Christmas season! I look back and feel extremely grateful for the gift of peace that I had.
Somehow we got to the week before Christmas. Somehow they got all of their stuff packed and loaded into the trailers that were going to Mexico. Somehow we got all of our Christmas stuff packed and ready to go to Idaho. The day after Christmas they were gone. I got a phone call when they were about to cross the border. I didn't talk to them or hear from them at all until 7 days later when they crossed back into the United States. But it was a fabulous experience. So many great learning experiences in getting along with people, in building things, in appreciating what we have here, in seeing how other people live.
By the time Christmas came, I was wondering if this was a good idea. I love Christmas so much that I was really sad to be missing my other half and my big boys for the holiday. I was sad they missed out on being with grandparents and cousins. I was sad that the Mexico trip added stress to a time of year I try so hard to make special. And I was sad that it was hard for Dallin to really be present even on Christmas eve and Christmas day because he was making last minute preparations. I thought that the timing was just wrong.
But now I've heard the stories and seen the pictures and felt the love and friendships that developed between the people involved and I think it might just need to happen again.
Near the same time, I began thinking about Christmas and if we might want to change things up a bit by going to a hotel in Salt Lake and just enjoying some family time instead of lots of presents. I absolutely love buying presents for my family. It is just hard to make it all work out with such a large family. I sometimes find myself buying stuff we don't really need just to make things come out even, etc. It can get overwhelming. Dallin and I talked about some different ideas. We also tucked that $1000 away where we knew we wouldn't spend it.
Then Dallin went on a hike with our dentist. He heard him talking about a humanitarian trip that their family had done in Mexico. Dallin got more information and found out the first meeting was that Sunday. So we met up with Builders Without Borders and learned about what they do. For $300 per person plus any and all donations you can come up with, you can go with their group to Mexico and build homes and do other humanitarian projects for the week following Christmas. It sounded wonderful, and right in our budget. Originally the plan was for Dallin and I to go with Nathan and Brandon. That meant we had a couple hundred more than our thousand to come up with. We scrimped and moved some things about and worked it out.
The meeting the boys went to got them super excited. Nathan decided to to his Eagle project there and we payed our participation fee. That weekend was my time to wean Sullivan to make it possible for us to go. I really really wanted to go, but I was getting nervous about leaving my 5 younger kids with my mom during a pretty busy time of year. I learned that my brother's family would be staying at her house for most of that time and I was beginning to have some reservations about it. Still, I really wanted to go and didn't know if I'd get another chance and I had my passport ready, so I planned a date to start the weaning process.
The day came, and that morning I was addressing some photo cards we sent out for Thanksgiving. When I got to Dallin's sister's card, an idea came to me. I realized that she might be having Christmas alone this year as she is divorced and her husband lives a few states away from her. I had the thought that I wanted to be sure she had something to ease her loneliness, and I felt sad that we were going to be gone for the whole break. Then I thought that if I had to stay for some reason that she might like to go.
Weaning was a disaster. Sullivan had been growing increasingly insecure leading up to the day, probably because I had tried to talk to him about it and prep him for it. When it actually came time to tell him I couldn't nurse him, he cried and cried. He would sleep for a short time and then cry and cry. Finally I brought him in to my bed to see if he'd just snuggle down, but he went completely ballistic. He was writhing around like an animal and could not calm down, even when I got desperate and offered to nurse him. The whole situation felt so wrong and horrible that I just knew it wasn't going to happen. I didn't want my sweet little boy to have that kind of anxiety and I didn't want his wonderful personality to change. I told Dallin I didn't think I should go to Mexico and that I thought maybe Milee would like to go. He agreed, and what a relief I felt. By this time we were down in the kitchen because he was making so much noise. I finally put him in his time out chair and told him he needed to calm down and come tell mommy what he needed. He finally got down and found me and asked for milk. That decision was made. And I was so happy to find out that Milee was excited about the idea and she began making plans to update her passport, etc. Everybody loved having her along on the trip!
Nathan did a big fundraiser selling CD's of me singing and his specialty snowball cookies. It did amazingly well, raising over 3 times the amount of money he thought he would need. His plan was to gather supplies to take and print and frame family portraits for the people down in Mexico. A similar project had been done a couple of years ago and had been really successful, with some people getting their first ever photo taken. The whole thing was a lot of work for all of us, but I am proud of how much he took charge and made sure it happened. One of his biggest days was a day Dallin and I were in Salt Lake all day, but he managed to work things out really well. At the very last minute, the printer that had been donated did not work, so we had to head out to find a printer that he could take down. There were a few upsets like that, but there was just a feeling that everything would work out so we didn't get ruffled. And all of this was going on during the Christmas season! I look back and feel extremely grateful for the gift of peace that I had.
Somehow we got to the week before Christmas. Somehow they got all of their stuff packed and loaded into the trailers that were going to Mexico. Somehow we got all of our Christmas stuff packed and ready to go to Idaho. The day after Christmas they were gone. I got a phone call when they were about to cross the border. I didn't talk to them or hear from them at all until 7 days later when they crossed back into the United States. But it was a fabulous experience. So many great learning experiences in getting along with people, in building things, in appreciating what we have here, in seeing how other people live.
By the time Christmas came, I was wondering if this was a good idea. I love Christmas so much that I was really sad to be missing my other half and my big boys for the holiday. I was sad they missed out on being with grandparents and cousins. I was sad that the Mexico trip added stress to a time of year I try so hard to make special. And I was sad that it was hard for Dallin to really be present even on Christmas eve and Christmas day because he was making last minute preparations. I thought that the timing was just wrong.
But now I've heard the stories and seen the pictures and felt the love and friendships that developed between the people involved and I think it might just need to happen again.
Monday, December 30, 2013
2013 Book List
- Gathering Christmas
- The Mansion
- Christmas Jars
- The Christmas Box
- A Pilgrim's Progress
- The Gabriel Method
- I Am A Mother
- Unfinished With Dallin: One Thousand Gifts
- To Brandon: String, Straitedge, and Shadow
- To Kids: Farmer Boy
- To Boys: Carry On Mr. Bowditch
- To kids: Pollyanna
- With Dallin: Unbroken
- A Banner Is Unfurled vol 1-5
- Read again: Visions of Glory
- Reading to Daisy: The Secret Garden
- The Eden Antidote (by my Uncle Murr Brown!)
- 50 Signs of the Times and the Second Coming
- Whom The Lord Loveth
- To Si and SJ: The House At Pooh Corner
- To Simon and Sarajoy: Winnie The Pooh
- These Is My Words
- Unbroken
- With Dallin: Same Kind of Different As Me
- Increase In Learning
- with Dallin: Visions of Glory
- The Second Comforter
- Reading with Brandon: 55 Fathers
- With Brandon: The Freedom Factor
- with Dallin: It's Good To Be Alive
- Reading Now: Spiritual Lives of the Great Composers
- Unfinished To Kids: Swiss Family Robinson abriged
- with Dallin: The Magesty of Calmness
- Raising Your Spirited Child
- Reading to kids: Tom's Midnight Garden
- Reading With Brandon: The Landing of the Pilgrims
- Lark Rise To Candleford
- Reading Now: Easy Homeschooling Techniques
- Reading with Nathan: Do Hard Things
- Nephi's Isaiah (unfinished)
- To kids: The Phantom Tollbooth (unfinished)
- Intuitive Eating (still reading)
- To kids: Anne of Green Gables (still reading)
Saturday, November 30, 2013
November Notes
I like to be more careful and creative in my blogging than just a travelogue of our life, but sometimes the time just flies by so fast I can't capture the essence of the moments. And the precious glimpses of joy and depth and growth are faded and I am left with a bit of a skeleton.
Still, I hope that the skeleton can still awaken some of those joyful memories. They remind me of the structure of our lives, the things we did. And as we read back on those moments it will be fun to see how each person experienced them a little differently.
So here's November:
You can only go so long without family pictures before the old ones seem really outdated. I waited too long last time and was already expecting Sullivan before Sarajoy made it into one. So I girdled up my loins for one of the most un-romantic parts of parenthood. It is a time of dread. As funds were pretty skimpy, I was thrilled to find a coupon that would allow me to get all of our portraits on CD for only $50. Then I could print them, use them on my computer, etc. The deal was about to expire so I got us in quickly. I was really enjoying the fall colors, and liked the family picture we got years ago with browns and oranges, so I decided to see what we had. Miracle of miracles: I found something for everyone to wear that matched. Then the whole getting ready ahead of time and hoping hair can stay pretty and people won't fall asleep on the ride there and did we remember to bring some candy to bribe smiles out of people. It actually went pretty well except for sweet Sullivan. He was completely upset by the whole situation. Please PLEASE smile, little buddy. Glad when that was over, and glad to get a coupon when I picked up my CD that got me a large canvas print for only $20. We've paid a lot for those big prints before, so that was a blessing.
Sadly, the deal expired 2 days before Nathan got his braces off so he still has them on in his picture for the next year. He is very glad to have them off.
Dallin and I attended a day-long conference called Stand For The Family. It was extremely informative about the anti-family agenda and the movements all over the world that call good evil and evil good and bully people's freedoms away from them. It was also extremely inspiring and hopeful that there are good people out there fighting for what is right and that there are ways that I can support the movements for good. And it was great to feel supported for doing the most important job of all: caring for my family at home. I had my first Crown Burger on the way home. It was pretty tasty, but had a lot more meat than I prefer.
Dallin and the boys went to the BYU vs ISU game and had a fun time. Though I think Simon went with them and it was not his cup of tea.
We had a really fun Relief Society Activity where we made magnet clips for our Visiting Teaching sisters and cut out snowflakes for the upcoming ward breakfast. It was pure therapy to sit at a table and be creative with paper and scissors while I got to know some sisters in the ward. I actually learned some skills that helped me know how to make snowflakes I've only dreamed of making before. It is kind of silly how much I like it, but every time I see a picture of a snowflake now, I try to imagine if I can re-create it with paper.
And we kept up our regular routine: Monday-Wednesday mornings doing school together with devotional, a time to share what we've learned, a lesson or activity about geography or art or science. It has been a good year. We played tag for exercise on the days that the weather was good enough. Tuesday afternoons the girls have book clubs and Brandon has Shakespeare. Wednesday afternoon is temple day. Thursday all day is co-op with Brandon doing Speech and Debate and Life of Fred math and Pyramid Project (science) while the rest of us do geography, artist and composer studies, and play and visit. Friday is the day to catch up on projects or do something fun and relaxing.
Nathan got his Eagle Project approved in the nick of time. He had to schedule a special meeting for the approval because they were all booked up for the month. We knew we couldn't start selling things until he had his approval so it was great to get that part done.
Thanksgiving with the Millington family was really nice. We got there earlier than usual this year. We set things up at their church and had some time to visit and play before the food was served. It was nice. Dallin was able to gather his family and share some feelings and quotes about forgiveness. I think his siblings especially appreciated his willingness to begin to open some lines of communication again so people can support one another. It was super fun having the Crandalls stay with us for a few days. All the other girls came and spent the night as well. We had Ruby, Daisy, Emily, Holly, Ally, Erica, Brinn, and Jocelyn. They had a great time and Dallin taught them a funny cheer he saw online that they performed for the family later. Friday Dallin had scheduled a time for the whole family to attend the exhibit Sacred Gifts that is at BYU this year. It has some really precious pieces that make it a once in a lifetime thing. Sadly, we forgot the stroller which made it pretty much impossible with Sullivan. I made a quick wander through and spent the majority of the time in the foyer. Kind of a bummer, but a really great experience for everyone else. (Except Simon because he really wanted us to rent an ipad.) Actually, I know even he had a neat experience with those life-size paintings of the Savior.
And with a late Thanksgiving, suddenly it was December.
Still, I hope that the skeleton can still awaken some of those joyful memories. They remind me of the structure of our lives, the things we did. And as we read back on those moments it will be fun to see how each person experienced them a little differently.
So here's November:
You can only go so long without family pictures before the old ones seem really outdated. I waited too long last time and was already expecting Sullivan before Sarajoy made it into one. So I girdled up my loins for one of the most un-romantic parts of parenthood. It is a time of dread. As funds were pretty skimpy, I was thrilled to find a coupon that would allow me to get all of our portraits on CD for only $50. Then I could print them, use them on my computer, etc. The deal was about to expire so I got us in quickly. I was really enjoying the fall colors, and liked the family picture we got years ago with browns and oranges, so I decided to see what we had. Miracle of miracles: I found something for everyone to wear that matched. Then the whole getting ready ahead of time and hoping hair can stay pretty and people won't fall asleep on the ride there and did we remember to bring some candy to bribe smiles out of people. It actually went pretty well except for sweet Sullivan. He was completely upset by the whole situation. Please PLEASE smile, little buddy. Glad when that was over, and glad to get a coupon when I picked up my CD that got me a large canvas print for only $20. We've paid a lot for those big prints before, so that was a blessing.
Sadly, the deal expired 2 days before Nathan got his braces off so he still has them on in his picture for the next year. He is very glad to have them off.
Dallin and I attended a day-long conference called Stand For The Family. It was extremely informative about the anti-family agenda and the movements all over the world that call good evil and evil good and bully people's freedoms away from them. It was also extremely inspiring and hopeful that there are good people out there fighting for what is right and that there are ways that I can support the movements for good. And it was great to feel supported for doing the most important job of all: caring for my family at home. I had my first Crown Burger on the way home. It was pretty tasty, but had a lot more meat than I prefer.
Dallin and the boys went to the BYU vs ISU game and had a fun time. Though I think Simon went with them and it was not his cup of tea.
We had a really fun Relief Society Activity where we made magnet clips for our Visiting Teaching sisters and cut out snowflakes for the upcoming ward breakfast. It was pure therapy to sit at a table and be creative with paper and scissors while I got to know some sisters in the ward. I actually learned some skills that helped me know how to make snowflakes I've only dreamed of making before. It is kind of silly how much I like it, but every time I see a picture of a snowflake now, I try to imagine if I can re-create it with paper.
And we kept up our regular routine: Monday-Wednesday mornings doing school together with devotional, a time to share what we've learned, a lesson or activity about geography or art or science. It has been a good year. We played tag for exercise on the days that the weather was good enough. Tuesday afternoons the girls have book clubs and Brandon has Shakespeare. Wednesday afternoon is temple day. Thursday all day is co-op with Brandon doing Speech and Debate and Life of Fred math and Pyramid Project (science) while the rest of us do geography, artist and composer studies, and play and visit. Friday is the day to catch up on projects or do something fun and relaxing.
Nathan got his Eagle Project approved in the nick of time. He had to schedule a special meeting for the approval because they were all booked up for the month. We knew we couldn't start selling things until he had his approval so it was great to get that part done.
Thanksgiving with the Millington family was really nice. We got there earlier than usual this year. We set things up at their church and had some time to visit and play before the food was served. It was nice. Dallin was able to gather his family and share some feelings and quotes about forgiveness. I think his siblings especially appreciated his willingness to begin to open some lines of communication again so people can support one another. It was super fun having the Crandalls stay with us for a few days. All the other girls came and spent the night as well. We had Ruby, Daisy, Emily, Holly, Ally, Erica, Brinn, and Jocelyn. They had a great time and Dallin taught them a funny cheer he saw online that they performed for the family later. Friday Dallin had scheduled a time for the whole family to attend the exhibit Sacred Gifts that is at BYU this year. It has some really precious pieces that make it a once in a lifetime thing. Sadly, we forgot the stroller which made it pretty much impossible with Sullivan. I made a quick wander through and spent the majority of the time in the foyer. Kind of a bummer, but a really great experience for everyone else. (Except Simon because he really wanted us to rent an ipad.) Actually, I know even he had a neat experience with those life-size paintings of the Savior.
And with a late Thanksgiving, suddenly it was December.
Monday, November 4, 2013
3 Days I Could Live Over Again
Wednesday October 30, 2013
I started the day feeling sluggish, achy and sick. I have had this cold/sinus thing that comes and goes and it hit me hard that morning. I kind of suspected it would be a rough day, but I did what I could to resist the pull downward.
Due to birthdays and Halloween, there were a few things for school that we hadn't gotten to. I had felt thwarted the previous two days in my attempts to wrap up our October studies.
Miraculously, I managed to do Devotional and break out the Science books. We did a few fun labs about the Solar System. I learned a few things and we had a nice time.
I had hoped for a chance to lie down for awhile before going to the temple, but it didn't happen. There always seems to be a good reason not to go, but I knew I'd be happier if I went.
And I was. The kids I get to associate with on these trips are just great kids. I love their laughter and enthusiasm and their interest in important and meaningful things. I appreciate that they are willing to make the sacrifice to come and admire their ability to see the good it does them.
I made chicken enchiladas with lots of green chile sauce and they were great.
Nothing really big happened on Wednesday, but it was just nice. We did most of the dinner chores before Dallin got home so we could just enjoy the evening. Since I was on dishes and had already done them, I was free to play the piano for awhile. I missed my chance on the chore rotation the night before because we attended an event at Nathan's school. Yes, playing the piano is one of the chores on our dinner chore rotation, and it is the favorite. While I played the piano, Nathan and Dallin talked in the kitchen and the other 6 kids were dancing to Piano Guys in the family room. It was just beautiful family down-time.
We had time to do our evening reading of Anne of Green Gables and The Phantom Tollbooth and everyone went to bed on time. Dallin and I fell asleep talking about the importance of homemaking. How thankful I am that he supports me in being a homemaker! How beautifully the work and effort I put into homemaking support him. I love my job.
I started the day feeling sluggish, achy and sick. I have had this cold/sinus thing that comes and goes and it hit me hard that morning. I kind of suspected it would be a rough day, but I did what I could to resist the pull downward.
Due to birthdays and Halloween, there were a few things for school that we hadn't gotten to. I had felt thwarted the previous two days in my attempts to wrap up our October studies.
Miraculously, I managed to do Devotional and break out the Science books. We did a few fun labs about the Solar System. I learned a few things and we had a nice time.
I had hoped for a chance to lie down for awhile before going to the temple, but it didn't happen. There always seems to be a good reason not to go, but I knew I'd be happier if I went.
And I was. The kids I get to associate with on these trips are just great kids. I love their laughter and enthusiasm and their interest in important and meaningful things. I appreciate that they are willing to make the sacrifice to come and admire their ability to see the good it does them.
I made chicken enchiladas with lots of green chile sauce and they were great.
Nothing really big happened on Wednesday, but it was just nice. We did most of the dinner chores before Dallin got home so we could just enjoy the evening. Since I was on dishes and had already done them, I was free to play the piano for awhile. I missed my chance on the chore rotation the night before because we attended an event at Nathan's school. Yes, playing the piano is one of the chores on our dinner chore rotation, and it is the favorite. While I played the piano, Nathan and Dallin talked in the kitchen and the other 6 kids were dancing to Piano Guys in the family room. It was just beautiful family down-time.
We had time to do our evening reading of Anne of Green Gables and The Phantom Tollbooth and everyone went to bed on time. Dallin and I fell asleep talking about the importance of homemaking. How thankful I am that he supports me in being a homemaker! How beautifully the work and effort I put into homemaking support him. I love my job.
Day 2: Halloween
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Halloween is fun.
Whatever its origins or dark past, I like the way we celebrate it.
I do not like things that are gory or scary, but we have always been able to celebrate Halloween without these things.
One of my favorite parts is dressing up. It is so fun for kids (and adults) when we enter the realm of imagination. And I LOVE homemade costumes. I love finding odds and ends and scraps that make the perfect this or that. It is a time of year that I have permission to drop everything and get creative, and it is joyful and nourishing!
This year we got to have Halloween on our co-op day. The theme was geography so we could have our costumes and potluck item come from somewhere on the map. Not everybody went with the theme, but most people did, and it was fun. The kids had previously decided to do a family theme of Peter Pan. Everybody's costume but Ruby's (the mermaid) could fit the geography theme as well. She decided to wear a beret and artist's smock and french braids and be from France. There were quite a few Frenchies there, so she was not alone. The food was great, the kids were all happy playing for most of the time. It was a beautiful sunny autumn day. There was quite a period of time when the kids were all playing and the moms were reveling in a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation. Ahhhhhh.
Thankfully our Bean and Rice dish did not get completely eaten so we plugged in the crock pot and had warm beans and rice to go with our candy for the rest of the evening. We got home from co-op and refreshed our costumes so we could get some pictures with Nathan before he left for a Halloween party he'd been invited to. When I walked in the door, I cringed at the realization that I'd forgotten to have the kids carve our pumpkin and I'd also lost my chance to make pumpkin sugar cookies with candy corn faces. I don't know why, but I have always loved them. Just as I was thinking that, Nathan showed me that a neighbor had left a plate of them on our doorstep! Sweet tender mercy!
Finally we were all together in full costume:
Dallin as Captain Hook.
He tucked back the fur from his Santa suit, wore the peasant shirt and boot tops I'd made for the boys' spring performances, black curly wig from a yard sale, pirate hat from Nathan's Timberline camp this summer. He was looking pretty good but needed a sword and a feather and a hook. Simon's dollar store sword did the trick, and we made a pretty awesome feather with pellon and pipe cleaners. The hook was made from an old formula can saved from years ago with a garage hook screwed in and covered with duct tape. It was pretty awesome.
Simon was Peter Pan with a hat we made in co-op 6 years ago studying medieval history. Brandon had carved him a sword for his birthday and I made him a tunic out of green felt left from a Christmas project. Felt and pipe cleaner for his red feather and he was all set.
And Nathan? Having wanted to get a morph suit for a few years now, he came up with the great idea to be Peter Pan's shadow. It was pretty impressive!
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| Notice Mikey the photo bomber in these. |
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| It is so funny how he always comes to see what we're up to and wants to be a part of it. |
Brandon was the Crocodile in his green morph suit. We painted an old hat and added felt teeth and eyes.
Ruby's costume was a lot of fun to come up with. She sewed a lot of the skirt and I added the fin and the shapes with sequins. The fabric is from a yard sale. The top is a dress that has become too short. It already had sequins so I added the blue ruffle to tie it all together. We undid her french braids for pretty mermaid hair.
And Daisy was Wendy. I thought for sure I'd have to buy fabric for her costume, but I didn't! I found an old nightgown of Dallin's grandma's. ( I hang on to anything tricot that I find because it is hard to come by and so fun for dressups. ) The top of the nightgown was faded and stained so I cut it off and used the skirt. I just happened to have a small piece of light blue tricot that was barely the right size to cut the bodice and sleeves. I lined the bodice using an old knit shirt of mine. I'd forgotten about the blue gauzy stuff that was from a yard sale this summer. It came together so beautifully! The sash is just a blue ribbon we had. I had some satin slippers from my mom that my girls loved but were too big for them. I just cut the sole to fit and stitched the back of the slipper back down to the place where it was cut. Voila!
Sarajoy was Tinnkerbell. Easy Peasy as we've had this costume for almost 8 years. I'm surprised the wings are still intact. She had a pretty bun with green hair "spahkoos". (sparkles)
Sullivan was our little "Lost Boy" wearing the lion suit made for Brandon when he was a baby. Everyone except Nathan and Daisy have worn it.
Lately I always stay up too late talking to Dallin, but it is pretty fun.
But it wasn't fun that just as we were drifting off, Daisy remembered she'd eaten all of that candy on an empty stomach and it wasn't until 1am that she finally threw up.
And it was just plain old unfair that the next day was a school day.
Still, It was a Happy Happy Halloween!
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Day 3: Perfect Saturday
I stayed up pretty late on Friday night, but I still managed to get up and read and study and still be on time. Dallin and Brandon were great to make lunches, remove car seats, pull up driving directions, and other odd but important jobs. We left early in the morning, but it was already proving to be a nearly perfect autumn day. It was wonderfully warm and beautifully colorful and clear.
It was the first Speech and Debate tournament of the year. As I nearly filled my big van to capacity with youth, the feeling in the car was one of nervous excitement.
These kids have been doing things together for years. They are comfortable with each other. They tease each other, but mostly they encourage and mentor and lift each other.
How would they do? Would they have their speeches memorized? Would the first years be able to handle the pressure of their event?
It was at BYU, so the trip wasn't super long and I was absorbed in conversation with the other mom who came along to judge. It was a very thought-provoking conversation. We continued it through orientation and the prep period for my first event: Extemporaneous. The kids had 30 minutes to prepare a memorized speech on a topic given at the beginning of the round. None of our kids were in my room, but it was interesting.
The next round I had free, so I went to find Brandon to see how he was doing. I was extremely nervous for him. This was his first time doing Oratory: a 7-10 minute memorized speech on a subject of his choice. I had worked with him on his speech 10 days before and he was pretty much in a state of despair. He had worked very hard and long on it, but it was just not good enough. I gave pointers and pep talked and he was gracious and tried to have a better attitude, but I could tell he felt utterly miserable about it. "There is no way I can finish this and have it memorized in time for the tournament."
His attitude completely changed after he had a chance to go over it with his teacher. Bless you, Mr. Martineau. But I hadn't read it or listened to it since the day I tried to help him. I had heard him frantically trying to memorize his speech in his room the day before and even that morning. I asked him if it would make him nervous if I listened, and he calmly told me "no". He had already done it once, so I was really curious about his calm, positive attitude. But I was still nervous.
The first to go was Joseph from our co-op. He is a couple of years ahead of Brandon in speech, and his speech was amazing. After a few more speeches that I don't really remember, Brandon got up. He calmly walked to the front of the room. He stood there all handsome in his gray suit. The judge asked him how old he was and was surprised at his youth. Then he began.
The words just flowed. His speech was good, his delivery was good, his memorization was good! He did great! One of the best in the room for that round. He did it!
Two more rounds after a quick lunch. During one I judged oratory and most of the participants were disqualified for speeches that were too short or not memorized. I began to think that Brandon might have a chance to be recognized that day.
I was one of the first people in the auditorium after round 4. I tried to read, but fell asleep. When I woke, the room was nearly full and noisy with the hum of expectant participants. Was that Nathan I just saw? Yes! Dallin had brought the kids in for the closing ceremony. It was fun to see their grins and snuggle and nurse the baby before they started announcing the awards.
The teacher announced the top half of each category, about 5 people at a time. Oratory is usually announced last. I thought for sure Brandon would make it in the top half and get his name read. This had never happened to him before. But when they didn't read his name in the first batch, my hopes fell a bit. Oratory is generally pretty competitive and they had nearly 40 participants. When he was getting to the end of the second batch, I wasn't surprised to hear Adrianna's name announced. I had heard her give a speech at the last tournament last year, and it was amazing. But I WAS surprised to hear the announcement that she tied for 8th place with.....Brandon!!!!
Now I'm crying about it. I was too excited then. That pretty much sealed the fate for the rest of the day. But now I'm teared up because I'm thinking about my baby boy that the Spirit told me was not going to fit into the public school system. I'm thinking about the kid who brought me the animal encyclopedia when he was 4 and told me he wanted to learn to read. The kid who learned the letters and sounds and words over and over and over again, but it just wouldn't click. The kid who started reading the scriptures because he heard a story about a boy who learned to read that way. Who realized that he would have to read them out loud if he wanted to get anything out of them. Who struggled and struggled and struggled with writing. Who felt like he wasn't cut out for this Speech and Debate thing, but kept at it because of an inspiring teacher. Whose mother marked success by progress rather than grade levels or benchmarks and trusted that if she kept his self worth intact, it would come. It came.
It means an awful lot to both of us, that tie for 8th place.
Dallin and Nathan and everyone was there to share in the excitement. Nathan had an event at BYU that evening, so we split up, agreeing to meet at home in about an hour. A couple of the kids brought gas money which provided the much wished-for pizza night we've been craving for awhile. Dallin was ordered to get pizza and ice cream while I worked on getting the kids back to their parents.
The energy in the car was slightly different than on the way there. Everyone was talking at once, reading comments from the judges. Trying to be humble about winning 3rd or 2nd place. Giving each other pointers, joking, laughing. It was a feeling of relief and celebration!
My friend couldn't get ahold of her husband to come pick her and her son up from my house. They didn't live too far away, so I said I'd take them. Then I got a call that our star-gazing party with another home school group was happening right then. We had been looking forward to that for weeks and weeks, having it cancelled several times due to cloudy weather. Dallin wasn't even home yet, but I piled a bunch of warm stuff in the car and waited for him. I was SO THANKFUL that he had pizza we could take and eat there. It just happened to be in the same neighborhood as my friend who needed a ride, so that was quite convenient.
So we went to the top of a mountain and looked at stars. We looked at galaxies, even! Our veteran homeschool friends had telescopes and a wealth of knowledge that made it very interesting and exciting. Being at a park up in the woods at night with glow sticks was an exciting adventure for the little ones. We weren't there for very long, though it seemed late when we got home. And we still had to eat the ice cream to celebrate Brandon's triumph!
Little ones were more than happy to go right to bed after that.
But the big kids were still buzzing with excitement. They and Dallin showed me the "new" treadmill and bookcases handed down from the neighbors. That got us thinking about how to arrange the books now that we have room for them all, and then some fun summaries by me about some of my favorites. I do love books.
Next thing I knew, I was on my way up to bed and saw the 4 oldest kids snuggled together on the couch, just STARTING a movie.
But it had been so long since I'd seen them all snuggled up enjoying each other that way...
I walked right by with a smile and a word of encouragement, and I might have given a slight correction to my husband for shedding some "go to bed" wisdom as he walked through.
I tried to stay awake to watch an episode of Kung Fu with Dallin, but I didn't make it.
But as I closed my eyes, I felt a deep sense of contentment. My tummy was nice and full of comfort foods, my bed was warm, my husband loved me, my kids loved each other, I knew some new stars and constellations, and Brandon placed 8th at the tournament.
Satisfaction.
Days to be lived over again.
...
It was the first Speech and Debate tournament of the year. As I nearly filled my big van to capacity with youth, the feeling in the car was one of nervous excitement.
These kids have been doing things together for years. They are comfortable with each other. They tease each other, but mostly they encourage and mentor and lift each other.
How would they do? Would they have their speeches memorized? Would the first years be able to handle the pressure of their event?
It was at BYU, so the trip wasn't super long and I was absorbed in conversation with the other mom who came along to judge. It was a very thought-provoking conversation. We continued it through orientation and the prep period for my first event: Extemporaneous. The kids had 30 minutes to prepare a memorized speech on a topic given at the beginning of the round. None of our kids were in my room, but it was interesting.
The next round I had free, so I went to find Brandon to see how he was doing. I was extremely nervous for him. This was his first time doing Oratory: a 7-10 minute memorized speech on a subject of his choice. I had worked with him on his speech 10 days before and he was pretty much in a state of despair. He had worked very hard and long on it, but it was just not good enough. I gave pointers and pep talked and he was gracious and tried to have a better attitude, but I could tell he felt utterly miserable about it. "There is no way I can finish this and have it memorized in time for the tournament."
His attitude completely changed after he had a chance to go over it with his teacher. Bless you, Mr. Martineau. But I hadn't read it or listened to it since the day I tried to help him. I had heard him frantically trying to memorize his speech in his room the day before and even that morning. I asked him if it would make him nervous if I listened, and he calmly told me "no". He had already done it once, so I was really curious about his calm, positive attitude. But I was still nervous.
The first to go was Joseph from our co-op. He is a couple of years ahead of Brandon in speech, and his speech was amazing. After a few more speeches that I don't really remember, Brandon got up. He calmly walked to the front of the room. He stood there all handsome in his gray suit. The judge asked him how old he was and was surprised at his youth. Then he began.
The words just flowed. His speech was good, his delivery was good, his memorization was good! He did great! One of the best in the room for that round. He did it!
Two more rounds after a quick lunch. During one I judged oratory and most of the participants were disqualified for speeches that were too short or not memorized. I began to think that Brandon might have a chance to be recognized that day.
I was one of the first people in the auditorium after round 4. I tried to read, but fell asleep. When I woke, the room was nearly full and noisy with the hum of expectant participants. Was that Nathan I just saw? Yes! Dallin had brought the kids in for the closing ceremony. It was fun to see their grins and snuggle and nurse the baby before they started announcing the awards.
The teacher announced the top half of each category, about 5 people at a time. Oratory is usually announced last. I thought for sure Brandon would make it in the top half and get his name read. This had never happened to him before. But when they didn't read his name in the first batch, my hopes fell a bit. Oratory is generally pretty competitive and they had nearly 40 participants. When he was getting to the end of the second batch, I wasn't surprised to hear Adrianna's name announced. I had heard her give a speech at the last tournament last year, and it was amazing. But I WAS surprised to hear the announcement that she tied for 8th place with.....Brandon!!!!
Now I'm crying about it. I was too excited then. That pretty much sealed the fate for the rest of the day. But now I'm teared up because I'm thinking about my baby boy that the Spirit told me was not going to fit into the public school system. I'm thinking about the kid who brought me the animal encyclopedia when he was 4 and told me he wanted to learn to read. The kid who learned the letters and sounds and words over and over and over again, but it just wouldn't click. The kid who started reading the scriptures because he heard a story about a boy who learned to read that way. Who realized that he would have to read them out loud if he wanted to get anything out of them. Who struggled and struggled and struggled with writing. Who felt like he wasn't cut out for this Speech and Debate thing, but kept at it because of an inspiring teacher. Whose mother marked success by progress rather than grade levels or benchmarks and trusted that if she kept his self worth intact, it would come. It came.
It means an awful lot to both of us, that tie for 8th place.
Dallin and Nathan and everyone was there to share in the excitement. Nathan had an event at BYU that evening, so we split up, agreeing to meet at home in about an hour. A couple of the kids brought gas money which provided the much wished-for pizza night we've been craving for awhile. Dallin was ordered to get pizza and ice cream while I worked on getting the kids back to their parents.
The energy in the car was slightly different than on the way there. Everyone was talking at once, reading comments from the judges. Trying to be humble about winning 3rd or 2nd place. Giving each other pointers, joking, laughing. It was a feeling of relief and celebration!
My friend couldn't get ahold of her husband to come pick her and her son up from my house. They didn't live too far away, so I said I'd take them. Then I got a call that our star-gazing party with another home school group was happening right then. We had been looking forward to that for weeks and weeks, having it cancelled several times due to cloudy weather. Dallin wasn't even home yet, but I piled a bunch of warm stuff in the car and waited for him. I was SO THANKFUL that he had pizza we could take and eat there. It just happened to be in the same neighborhood as my friend who needed a ride, so that was quite convenient.
So we went to the top of a mountain and looked at stars. We looked at galaxies, even! Our veteran homeschool friends had telescopes and a wealth of knowledge that made it very interesting and exciting. Being at a park up in the woods at night with glow sticks was an exciting adventure for the little ones. We weren't there for very long, though it seemed late when we got home. And we still had to eat the ice cream to celebrate Brandon's triumph!
Little ones were more than happy to go right to bed after that.
But the big kids were still buzzing with excitement. They and Dallin showed me the "new" treadmill and bookcases handed down from the neighbors. That got us thinking about how to arrange the books now that we have room for them all, and then some fun summaries by me about some of my favorites. I do love books.
Next thing I knew, I was on my way up to bed and saw the 4 oldest kids snuggled together on the couch, just STARTING a movie.
But it had been so long since I'd seen them all snuggled up enjoying each other that way...
I walked right by with a smile and a word of encouragement, and I might have given a slight correction to my husband for shedding some "go to bed" wisdom as he walked through.
I tried to stay awake to watch an episode of Kung Fu with Dallin, but I didn't make it.
But as I closed my eyes, I felt a deep sense of contentment. My tummy was nice and full of comfort foods, my bed was warm, my husband loved me, my kids loved each other, I knew some new stars and constellations, and Brandon placed 8th at the tournament.
Satisfaction.
Days to be lived over again.
...
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Catching Up
What a heavy, brooding sort of day. My body feels weighed down with the headcold that won't go away. Gloomy snowclouds hang over the valley, making the world feel cold and melancholy.
And my heart is heavy with grief over the loss of our kitty.
The perfect day to stay inside and read and ponder and write. I have no energy for anything else, anyway. The fruit in the garage might just have to feed our compost pile instead of stand in pretty rows of glass jars in the storage room. It will feed our garden next year...or at least the deer who come to eat our garden...they are apparently starving...Looking on the bright side, you know.
But really, I've been aching to write and praying to know what to write and when. Somehow a bright side to Max's death is that it broke my writer's block. Last night I HAD to write.
The past months have been busy and joyful--like we're trying to squeeze every last drop of goodness from each and every day. A season of activity and service and doing that hasn't left much time for reading and pondering and writing.
I love seasons. They give us so much hope and comfort.
Last time I wrote was the end of summer. I wish I could remember what happened next...
I think it was a whirl of trying to get ready for school and Dallin and the boys trying to get the yard wrapped up. We went on a couple of family bike rides and went swimming once.
Two very wonderful things happened: My good friend Rhyetta came who moved to Missouri on the day Sarajoy was born. We had a big party with her family and the families of the other 2 families who homeschooled in our old ward. The only downside was that it was way too short. I got to show her around my house and yard. I'm so glad I know her and I really wish we could see each other more often than every 4 years.
The next day, her sister Anaise came for a visit. Rhyetta introduced me to her blog years ago and I found another kindred spirit. We have blogged and emailed back and forth and shared so many similar experiences it was wonderful to meet in real life! The kids got along beautifully and they didn't feel like strangers at all. We could have talked for hours and hours.
Now that Chris just moved his family to Kansas City, we might have an excuse to visit them in their homes!
It felt really special and nourishing for me to have such nice, long visits with Rebecca, Debbie, Rhyetta, and Anaise this summer. I felt it an especial gift from God to strengthen and lift me. How I love good friends!
Things were up in the air and all over the place trying to plan co-op this year. We were trying so hard to have it all mapped out in the spring so we could use the summer to prepare...
The celebrated our 16th anniversary with the kids at the County Fair. I always like to see the animals and the exhibits most of all. The vegetables, paintings, sewing, photographs--I enjoy it more than my kids. We all liked the Lego exhibit, though. It is amazing! We got some food at the food booths and came home to get ready for our last big trip.
We wanted to make it to another Utah temple this summer, so we hoped for Brigham City on our way to Idaho, but it was closed. We made an appointment at Logan for Friday night, but traffic made us miss that one. We stayed at Kim's that night instead. That was really great because our lives are so busy I don't get a lot of down time with Kim anymore. It was great that they were free and we could relax and visit and watch a movie. I remember being very inspired by it: 42 about Jackie Robinson. We got up and headed up to Logan and did baptisms. It was neat that we were there at the place of our marriage on the weekend of our anniversary. We took some fun 16 years later wedding photos.
We spent the evening with my family and headed up to Island Park Sunday afternoon with them. It was perfectly lovely. The weather was great. We saw a moose right in our camp. The river was close and fun. The company was excellent. It is so refreshing and wonderful to see the kids enjoying their cousins and enjoying nature. I am so glad that I can provide such carefree memories for my kids.
On the way home we stopped at my mom's to pick apples as the rain began to fall.
(Those ones made it into some apple crisp.)
And the next day was Nathan's first day of school at Salem Hills High School. He's enjoying Men's Choir and soccer and barely tolerating Chemistry. We are thankful that he is so responsible and glad that he has such good friends. We wish we got to see more of him, but he is fun and helpful when he is here. On Wednesday I pick up him and a friend from school on our way to the temple. My van is usually full of homeschoolers, and I love it!
And then, the day after Labor Day, we started our school year with a bang!
Actually, it was a trip to the vet to attend to the giant abcess on Mikey's neck.
But the amazing thing was we still got all of our school plans done for that day. We had a wonderful first week with just enough structure and just enough flexibility to make me hopeful that this year will work!
Our first week of classes and co-op was a little strange. It has been a slow process, but bit-by-bit the kinks got worked out and co-op has settled into something wonderful! We study artists and composers and geography songs together while the big kids are at Speech and Debate. Then we gather with the big kids for a hymn, the pledge, a prayer and a chance to share our work and talents. We eat lunch and visit and play and then the big kids do Pyramid Project while the visiting and playing continues. It is just enough structure without the pressure. I love it, and I hope the other moms do as well. It is especially nice that my closest friend is in the big co-op this year. Everything feels just right!
September has been just amazing! There is a different feeling in our home. A love for learning and reading that I've yearned and struggled for for years. What is the difference? What is the cause? I think it is a combination of a few things: We cancelled Netflix in order to use our time to do things we REALLY wanted to do. I didn't think it would be a big deal. We didn't watch movies THAT much, but I know it contributed especially because Dallin and I started reading out loud to each other again. And lots of little tweaks in life to make it more Christ-centered. We feel the urgency to use our time well and we choose to fill it with more uplifting things than we did before. We have both been learning to pray more carefully, specifically, and earnestly in the past year. We are working together and have a common vision for our family.
It feels really, really good!
This year we are studying Geography, Earth Science, Journalism, Book of Mormon and continue our Artist and Composer studies. We did Continents and Oceans, stars and constellations, began our own newspapers, and learned a few mastery scriptures. We are studying Beethoven and Carl Bloch until November. I feel really great about all of the things we have done. Our learning has been natural, together, and enjoyable. We use a variety of resources, reading until somebody has a question and then exploring that question.
Brandon is taking Shakespeare Conquest, Life of Fred Math, Speech and Debate, and Pyramid Project from the commonwealth and co-op. I am reading the books out loud to him for Pyramid Project. Partly because I am excited about what he's learning and partly to give him a break. He has a heavy reading load and it is not easy for him. He did finish reading the Hobbit, though, and is quite proud of that! This month we read one of my favorites, Carry On Mr. Bowditch. Dallin and Nathan listened in as well and we had some nice discussions. The next book we're working on is String, Straitedge, and Shadow. It is about geometry and how it was discovered. It is pretty interesting. He's studying Julius Caesar with his class and is working on the 17 plays to read, watch, or listen to on his own. He is doing a great job of keeping himself motivated and staying up with his assignments. I'm so glad to have him home.
Ruby and Daisy are in 2 book clubs. One meets twice a month and they discuss and do projects based on classics. We finished Pollyanna first. We all loved that! It was my first time reading it. I couldn't help but do the voices like on the movie :) Sarajoy and Simon beg to stay up and listen. They are allowed to only if they are very quiet and rush right to bed when we're finished. Now we are finishing up Farmer Boy. What a lovely story! Their other book club is American Girls. They did Kaya for September and are starting Felicity. They do that class while Brandon is at Shakespeare. They have absolutely loved it!
Sullivan learned how to say Ruby this month, so she is feeling extra special and as always is his number two mommy. They love each other. Today when I went to change him he said, "Wooby. Poop." I could tell he was letting me know that Ruby had just changed him and sure enough, his diaper was dry.
Daisy is working on reading all of the Magic Tree House books, and she is getting to where she reads one almost every day! She is learning how to fill out a planner and plugging along in Math. She is very good at getting up and getting all of her chores done without being asked and without whining! Way to go, Daisy!
Simon is working on the Bob Books and doing better than any of my kids have at his age. It is nice now and then to have a kid that reads easily. He is always writing letters and notes and drawing numbers. One day I needed him out of my hair for a few minutes so I could work with one of the other kids so I gave him some dice and told him to write the number of whatever he rolled. That kept him busy for awhile. He is getting so good at mastering his temper! He is also doing really well with his chores. He graduated to a new chart and some bigger responsibilities this year. He is Dad's apprentice at dinner jobs, has piano practice on his chart, and helps a big kid with their Act of Kindness (assigned room or chore for the week). He earns quarters for stars on his chart, and when it is full he gets a day with Dad's ipad.
Sarajoy is the queen messmaker! But what can I say when she's so cute about it? She starts each day with some kind of stuffed animal or baby doll setup and imagines and plays all day. Just after she gets dressed, she changes into a princess dress for the rest of the day. Its funny cause it always takes her awhile (and a mess) to come up with an outfit and she promptly changes it for a dressup. She is definitely in training for learning to follow instructions and do some chores and we're having some success. She and Sullivan are starting to play a lot, and he just barely learned to call her "Beeb" (Babe) like the rest of us.
Sullivan is in the stage of quietly pulling random objects from drawers, shelves, and cupboards and depositing them in unlikely places. I'm tempted to pack up all of our toys for awhile so I can survive the stage Sulley and Sarajoy are in! He is amazingly cute and funny with his growing sense of humor and new words every day. Today Daisy said, "Mom I can't help but smile and laugh at Sulley even though Max was killed." He is sunshine to us all. Except he doesn't go out at night. It seems the nights I need it the most desperately he wakes every hour or less. Now and then he'll sleep for 3 hours in a row, but that is usually during his afternoon nap. There are a few reasons I put up with it: It keeps fertility at bay. I think the breast milk is so good for him and he doesn't have the patience for it during the day. But mostly I know it is important for me to overcome my dependence on sleep for happiness. I am learning that through Christ I can choose to be happy on very little sleep. I can choose to cherish and enjoy getting up to nurse the little person who I wasn't sure would make it to our family. It is a matter of spiritual curriculum for me, and I know I can still learn from it. Oh, but I am SO tired of it!
The front yard is done. DONE! We had a couple of great big rainstorms to test out the new drainage system and it works! Yesterday the grass seeds sprouted. How lovely it will be to have a front yard! Dallin and the boys did SO MUCH WORK out there this summer. It looks great!
Another tender mercy of this month was this week. I somehow missed it when I planned our year. An inbetween September and October that has given me a chance to catch up on some projects and sleep in a little and not feel so tied to the schedule. I've appreciated it, especially being sick.
Somewhere out in our yard is a cold little box turtle that got lost. Ruby put him out for exercise with yarn tied around him so she could find him, but he got out of the yarn. Where else can we look? Poor Squirtle.
It feels so good to report on this happy season of our lives. It feels so good for life to seem doable. There are so many many things that remain undone each day, but we are learning that that is a big part of trusting the Savior. When we share our burdens with Him, He shows us the way to get done the things that need to get done in just the right way and time. I still feel tempted to feel overwhelmed (and today it got the best of me!), But it is getting easier to cast the negative feelings aside and truly enjoy this interesting experience called life.
Now to attend to two brave little girls who made it through the day but need to make it through the night...
..
And my heart is heavy with grief over the loss of our kitty.
The perfect day to stay inside and read and ponder and write. I have no energy for anything else, anyway. The fruit in the garage might just have to feed our compost pile instead of stand in pretty rows of glass jars in the storage room. It will feed our garden next year...or at least the deer who come to eat our garden...they are apparently starving...Looking on the bright side, you know.
But really, I've been aching to write and praying to know what to write and when. Somehow a bright side to Max's death is that it broke my writer's block. Last night I HAD to write.
The past months have been busy and joyful--like we're trying to squeeze every last drop of goodness from each and every day. A season of activity and service and doing that hasn't left much time for reading and pondering and writing.
I love seasons. They give us so much hope and comfort.
Last time I wrote was the end of summer. I wish I could remember what happened next...
I think it was a whirl of trying to get ready for school and Dallin and the boys trying to get the yard wrapped up. We went on a couple of family bike rides and went swimming once.
Two very wonderful things happened: My good friend Rhyetta came who moved to Missouri on the day Sarajoy was born. We had a big party with her family and the families of the other 2 families who homeschooled in our old ward. The only downside was that it was way too short. I got to show her around my house and yard. I'm so glad I know her and I really wish we could see each other more often than every 4 years.
The next day, her sister Anaise came for a visit. Rhyetta introduced me to her blog years ago and I found another kindred spirit. We have blogged and emailed back and forth and shared so many similar experiences it was wonderful to meet in real life! The kids got along beautifully and they didn't feel like strangers at all. We could have talked for hours and hours.
Now that Chris just moved his family to Kansas City, we might have an excuse to visit them in their homes!
It felt really special and nourishing for me to have such nice, long visits with Rebecca, Debbie, Rhyetta, and Anaise this summer. I felt it an especial gift from God to strengthen and lift me. How I love good friends!
Things were up in the air and all over the place trying to plan co-op this year. We were trying so hard to have it all mapped out in the spring so we could use the summer to prepare...
The celebrated our 16th anniversary with the kids at the County Fair. I always like to see the animals and the exhibits most of all. The vegetables, paintings, sewing, photographs--I enjoy it more than my kids. We all liked the Lego exhibit, though. It is amazing! We got some food at the food booths and came home to get ready for our last big trip.
We wanted to make it to another Utah temple this summer, so we hoped for Brigham City on our way to Idaho, but it was closed. We made an appointment at Logan for Friday night, but traffic made us miss that one. We stayed at Kim's that night instead. That was really great because our lives are so busy I don't get a lot of down time with Kim anymore. It was great that they were free and we could relax and visit and watch a movie. I remember being very inspired by it: 42 about Jackie Robinson. We got up and headed up to Logan and did baptisms. It was neat that we were there at the place of our marriage on the weekend of our anniversary. We took some fun 16 years later wedding photos.
We spent the evening with my family and headed up to Island Park Sunday afternoon with them. It was perfectly lovely. The weather was great. We saw a moose right in our camp. The river was close and fun. The company was excellent. It is so refreshing and wonderful to see the kids enjoying their cousins and enjoying nature. I am so glad that I can provide such carefree memories for my kids.
On the way home we stopped at my mom's to pick apples as the rain began to fall.
(Those ones made it into some apple crisp.)
And the next day was Nathan's first day of school at Salem Hills High School. He's enjoying Men's Choir and soccer and barely tolerating Chemistry. We are thankful that he is so responsible and glad that he has such good friends. We wish we got to see more of him, but he is fun and helpful when he is here. On Wednesday I pick up him and a friend from school on our way to the temple. My van is usually full of homeschoolers, and I love it!
And then, the day after Labor Day, we started our school year with a bang!
Actually, it was a trip to the vet to attend to the giant abcess on Mikey's neck.
But the amazing thing was we still got all of our school plans done for that day. We had a wonderful first week with just enough structure and just enough flexibility to make me hopeful that this year will work!
Our first week of classes and co-op was a little strange. It has been a slow process, but bit-by-bit the kinks got worked out and co-op has settled into something wonderful! We study artists and composers and geography songs together while the big kids are at Speech and Debate. Then we gather with the big kids for a hymn, the pledge, a prayer and a chance to share our work and talents. We eat lunch and visit and play and then the big kids do Pyramid Project while the visiting and playing continues. It is just enough structure without the pressure. I love it, and I hope the other moms do as well. It is especially nice that my closest friend is in the big co-op this year. Everything feels just right!
September has been just amazing! There is a different feeling in our home. A love for learning and reading that I've yearned and struggled for for years. What is the difference? What is the cause? I think it is a combination of a few things: We cancelled Netflix in order to use our time to do things we REALLY wanted to do. I didn't think it would be a big deal. We didn't watch movies THAT much, but I know it contributed especially because Dallin and I started reading out loud to each other again. And lots of little tweaks in life to make it more Christ-centered. We feel the urgency to use our time well and we choose to fill it with more uplifting things than we did before. We have both been learning to pray more carefully, specifically, and earnestly in the past year. We are working together and have a common vision for our family.
It feels really, really good!
This year we are studying Geography, Earth Science, Journalism, Book of Mormon and continue our Artist and Composer studies. We did Continents and Oceans, stars and constellations, began our own newspapers, and learned a few mastery scriptures. We are studying Beethoven and Carl Bloch until November. I feel really great about all of the things we have done. Our learning has been natural, together, and enjoyable. We use a variety of resources, reading until somebody has a question and then exploring that question.
Brandon is taking Shakespeare Conquest, Life of Fred Math, Speech and Debate, and Pyramid Project from the commonwealth and co-op. I am reading the books out loud to him for Pyramid Project. Partly because I am excited about what he's learning and partly to give him a break. He has a heavy reading load and it is not easy for him. He did finish reading the Hobbit, though, and is quite proud of that! This month we read one of my favorites, Carry On Mr. Bowditch. Dallin and Nathan listened in as well and we had some nice discussions. The next book we're working on is String, Straitedge, and Shadow. It is about geometry and how it was discovered. It is pretty interesting. He's studying Julius Caesar with his class and is working on the 17 plays to read, watch, or listen to on his own. He is doing a great job of keeping himself motivated and staying up with his assignments. I'm so glad to have him home.
Ruby and Daisy are in 2 book clubs. One meets twice a month and they discuss and do projects based on classics. We finished Pollyanna first. We all loved that! It was my first time reading it. I couldn't help but do the voices like on the movie :) Sarajoy and Simon beg to stay up and listen. They are allowed to only if they are very quiet and rush right to bed when we're finished. Now we are finishing up Farmer Boy. What a lovely story! Their other book club is American Girls. They did Kaya for September and are starting Felicity. They do that class while Brandon is at Shakespeare. They have absolutely loved it!
Sullivan learned how to say Ruby this month, so she is feeling extra special and as always is his number two mommy. They love each other. Today when I went to change him he said, "Wooby. Poop." I could tell he was letting me know that Ruby had just changed him and sure enough, his diaper was dry.
Daisy is working on reading all of the Magic Tree House books, and she is getting to where she reads one almost every day! She is learning how to fill out a planner and plugging along in Math. She is very good at getting up and getting all of her chores done without being asked and without whining! Way to go, Daisy!
Simon is working on the Bob Books and doing better than any of my kids have at his age. It is nice now and then to have a kid that reads easily. He is always writing letters and notes and drawing numbers. One day I needed him out of my hair for a few minutes so I could work with one of the other kids so I gave him some dice and told him to write the number of whatever he rolled. That kept him busy for awhile. He is getting so good at mastering his temper! He is also doing really well with his chores. He graduated to a new chart and some bigger responsibilities this year. He is Dad's apprentice at dinner jobs, has piano practice on his chart, and helps a big kid with their Act of Kindness (assigned room or chore for the week). He earns quarters for stars on his chart, and when it is full he gets a day with Dad's ipad.
Sarajoy is the queen messmaker! But what can I say when she's so cute about it? She starts each day with some kind of stuffed animal or baby doll setup and imagines and plays all day. Just after she gets dressed, she changes into a princess dress for the rest of the day. Its funny cause it always takes her awhile (and a mess) to come up with an outfit and she promptly changes it for a dressup. She is definitely in training for learning to follow instructions and do some chores and we're having some success. She and Sullivan are starting to play a lot, and he just barely learned to call her "Beeb" (Babe) like the rest of us.
Sullivan is in the stage of quietly pulling random objects from drawers, shelves, and cupboards and depositing them in unlikely places. I'm tempted to pack up all of our toys for awhile so I can survive the stage Sulley and Sarajoy are in! He is amazingly cute and funny with his growing sense of humor and new words every day. Today Daisy said, "Mom I can't help but smile and laugh at Sulley even though Max was killed." He is sunshine to us all. Except he doesn't go out at night. It seems the nights I need it the most desperately he wakes every hour or less. Now and then he'll sleep for 3 hours in a row, but that is usually during his afternoon nap. There are a few reasons I put up with it: It keeps fertility at bay. I think the breast milk is so good for him and he doesn't have the patience for it during the day. But mostly I know it is important for me to overcome my dependence on sleep for happiness. I am learning that through Christ I can choose to be happy on very little sleep. I can choose to cherish and enjoy getting up to nurse the little person who I wasn't sure would make it to our family. It is a matter of spiritual curriculum for me, and I know I can still learn from it. Oh, but I am SO tired of it!
The front yard is done. DONE! We had a couple of great big rainstorms to test out the new drainage system and it works! Yesterday the grass seeds sprouted. How lovely it will be to have a front yard! Dallin and the boys did SO MUCH WORK out there this summer. It looks great!
Another tender mercy of this month was this week. I somehow missed it when I planned our year. An inbetween September and October that has given me a chance to catch up on some projects and sleep in a little and not feel so tied to the schedule. I've appreciated it, especially being sick.
Somewhere out in our yard is a cold little box turtle that got lost. Ruby put him out for exercise with yarn tied around him so she could find him, but he got out of the yarn. Where else can we look? Poor Squirtle.
It feels so good to report on this happy season of our lives. It feels so good for life to seem doable. There are so many many things that remain undone each day, but we are learning that that is a big part of trusting the Savior. When we share our burdens with Him, He shows us the way to get done the things that need to get done in just the right way and time. I still feel tempted to feel overwhelmed (and today it got the best of me!), But it is getting easier to cast the negative feelings aside and truly enjoy this interesting experience called life.
Now to attend to two brave little girls who made it through the day but need to make it through the night...
..
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
When Dad Finally Got His Shower
I've been pushing against a cold/sinus infection for a few days.
It is wearing me down.
But I usually find a reason or two to stay up and busy.
There is always so much needing my attention.
Daily devotional and schoolwork.
Work on the monthly budget.
Leftovers for lunch--homemade chicken noodle soup--yum!
Take the youth to the temple.
Scrape together leftovers and cold cereal for a quick dinner.
Haircuts.Must.Happen.
Dallin finishes cleaning the kitchen while Simon tenses under the buzz of the clippers and winces from the discomfort of hair splinters on his face and neck.
The bushy black and grey mane falls in clumps as Dallin finally gets a chance in the chair. His hair was SO long.
He cleans up the hair mess while I shower.
Just when I slipped into my pajamas, the two of us were asked to step outside by our oldest son returning from his scout activity.
I slip into my flip-flops, hoping my pajamas won't be a problem and Dallin slips a shirt over his own hair-splintered back.
Cars are parked in front of the house, still running with their lights on. They're carrying a crumpled form in the snow shovel.
No.
Not Max--please not Ruby's baby!
Blood running from his neck and jaw, his eyes open and glassy. His new green collar standing bright against his glossy black fur.
Yes Max. Is he for sure dead? For sure. I go inside to get a towel. She'll want to say goodbye.
I get him in a less-gory position where he can be stroked goodbye.
I find Ruby hiding in her closet. She must have guessed at what happened when I shooed the kids from the window and told them to keep the curtains closed.
And I had to be the one who said the horrid words that sent my girl into spasms of sobs.
We shook in each other's arms for a few moments before we went out to say goodbye.
I wrapped myself around her, trying to absorb her pain as she huddled over him, stroking his broken body.
The driver and his girlfriend reverently watched, wondering what could have been done.
Nothing. He ran out at the last moment. They were kind to stay and care and cry with us.
Then the other kids came out. The baby first, trying to figure out what happened to his friend "Mac". We had to pull him away because he wanted to poke and prod.
Sarajoy's dumbfounded look, Simon's wondering why we didn't take him to the vet, Daisy getting wrapped in Daddy's arms to sob over the loss of her "Maxen", the two big boys hovering over it all, holding the baby and feeling helpless.
Our family sat bowed around our little tragedy for some long moments before Ruby was ready to go in. As it was beginning to rain, she thought it best to have a burial ceremony tomorrow. We wrapped him and placed him in a box and she stroked him for the last time.
We bowed again in the living room, pleading for peace and strength.
She thought it best if we go ahead with our evening reading. When we were done, I was glad she could go find Mikey and have a warm body near her tonight. I'm sure he's missing his friend as well.
Meanwhile Dad and the boys threw the pickaxe and dug a grave in the garden.
Kids got hugs and kisses and tuck-ins and secret handshakes and I sat and sighed and the achy, swollen, stuffy sensations returned to remind me that I am still sick.
And I wondered who was in the shower and realized it was Dallin who had hugged and loved and swung and dug in the rain with hair splinters under his shirt.
The sensation must have returned after things
died down.
...
It is wearing me down.
But I usually find a reason or two to stay up and busy.
There is always so much needing my attention.
Daily devotional and schoolwork.
Work on the monthly budget.
Leftovers for lunch--homemade chicken noodle soup--yum!
Take the youth to the temple.
Scrape together leftovers and cold cereal for a quick dinner.
Haircuts.Must.Happen.
Dallin finishes cleaning the kitchen while Simon tenses under the buzz of the clippers and winces from the discomfort of hair splinters on his face and neck.
The bushy black and grey mane falls in clumps as Dallin finally gets a chance in the chair. His hair was SO long.
He cleans up the hair mess while I shower.
Just when I slipped into my pajamas, the two of us were asked to step outside by our oldest son returning from his scout activity.
I slip into my flip-flops, hoping my pajamas won't be a problem and Dallin slips a shirt over his own hair-splintered back.
Cars are parked in front of the house, still running with their lights on. They're carrying a crumpled form in the snow shovel.
No.
Not Max--please not Ruby's baby!
Blood running from his neck and jaw, his eyes open and glassy. His new green collar standing bright against his glossy black fur.
Yes Max. Is he for sure dead? For sure. I go inside to get a towel. She'll want to say goodbye.
I get him in a less-gory position where he can be stroked goodbye.
I find Ruby hiding in her closet. She must have guessed at what happened when I shooed the kids from the window and told them to keep the curtains closed.
And I had to be the one who said the horrid words that sent my girl into spasms of sobs.
We shook in each other's arms for a few moments before we went out to say goodbye.
I wrapped myself around her, trying to absorb her pain as she huddled over him, stroking his broken body.
The driver and his girlfriend reverently watched, wondering what could have been done.
Nothing. He ran out at the last moment. They were kind to stay and care and cry with us.
Then the other kids came out. The baby first, trying to figure out what happened to his friend "Mac". We had to pull him away because he wanted to poke and prod.
Sarajoy's dumbfounded look, Simon's wondering why we didn't take him to the vet, Daisy getting wrapped in Daddy's arms to sob over the loss of her "Maxen", the two big boys hovering over it all, holding the baby and feeling helpless.
Our family sat bowed around our little tragedy for some long moments before Ruby was ready to go in. As it was beginning to rain, she thought it best to have a burial ceremony tomorrow. We wrapped him and placed him in a box and she stroked him for the last time.
We bowed again in the living room, pleading for peace and strength.
She thought it best if we go ahead with our evening reading. When we were done, I was glad she could go find Mikey and have a warm body near her tonight. I'm sure he's missing his friend as well.
Meanwhile Dad and the boys threw the pickaxe and dug a grave in the garden.
Kids got hugs and kisses and tuck-ins and secret handshakes and I sat and sighed and the achy, swollen, stuffy sensations returned to remind me that I am still sick.
And I wondered who was in the shower and realized it was Dallin who had hugged and loved and swung and dug in the rain with hair splinters under his shirt.
The sensation must have returned after things
died down.
...
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Faith In Every Footstep
Faith In Every Footstep
July 28, 2013
By Sarah Millington
During a busy time of the restoration in
September of 1831, the prophet Joseph Smith received the following counsel from
the Lord found in Doctrine and Covenants 64:33:
“Wherefore-be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” The faithful Saints who helped in the restoration and the Pioneers who crossed the plains and settled this state are examples of those who have heeded that counsel.
“Wherefore-be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” The faithful Saints who helped in the restoration and the Pioneers who crossed the plains and settled this state are examples of those who have heeded that counsel.
I am the daughter of an institute teacher. Through the years my Dad’s specialty became
church history. Because of this, I grew
up knowing about pioneers. As a child I
walked through the Sacred Grove and climbed the Hill Cumorah. I stood in the place where Jesus appeared in
the Kirtland Temple. I walked through
Old Nauvoo and camped by the Mississippi river.
I’ve climbed Rocky Ridge and stood on top of Independence rock. I’ve visited Devil’s gate, Chimney rock, the
Sweetwater River and other sites along the Mormon trail. And every time I went to Dad with a problem,
he told me about pioneers.
I admit that as I grew into adulthood and the trials and
pressures of life became greater, I grew weary of the “pick up your handcart
and move on” advice. Somehow thinking
about the pioneers and their incredible suffering just made me feel lame and guilty for the
simpleness of my own trials. I was genuinely struggling with these
difficulties, however small, and I wanted comfort and escape from the circumstances. It was hard to see the usefulness of talking
about pioneers when my problems seemed so different from theirs.
We worked our way through those trials and the ones that
followed through the years without thinking much about pioneers. I always admired the qualities of self
reliance and frugality so I trained myself in some of the old fashioned skills
to help our family be provident and thrifty.
I found it enjoyable to do things the “old fashioned” way now and
then. Maybe there were times where I
thought I’d make a decent pioneer.
Mostly I was glad for my convenient life.
But as the size of my family grew, my
ability to achieve and accomplish things, even good things diminished. I was living in the mentality that I knew the
kind of help I needed in order to “get back in the game” and I was growing
impatient with my own failures and the lack of support I was getting from
heaven. I was trying to be a good girl
and do everything right, but did not feel like the Lord was helping me the way
He should. I was unaware of the refining
process I was going through and was quickly falling into a state of depression
and despair. I could not understand why
the Lord would command me to do all of these things and then not help me and
make it easy or even possible to do them.
Week after week, my efforts to perform at a higher level were sabotaged
and I was left feeling abandoned by God.
In the years since that time, I have been taught by
teachers, friends, and experiences that
my worth as God’s daughter is not based on my performance. I have learned a different way to measure success. . Seventeen Miracles was one of those
experiences.
A couple of years ago, my sister and her family acted in
several church movies including 17 miracles.
It is a movie worth watching. As
I sat and watched the suffering of those people play out before me, I finally
started to “get it” about pioneers. I
began to understand what my Dad was trying to tell me all of those years
ago. I wrote in my journal the following entry
entitled 18 miracles:
“Dallin
and I had the opportunity to go to the movies.
This is a rare treat for us, but we decided to splurge since my sister's family is in the movie.
Our money was not wasted.
Scene after scene made me weep as I watched the faith of the early Saints being tried and tested.
And I wondered, has my faith been tested like that?
I watched people giving their all, burying their little ones and dear sweethearts.
If they were lucky enough to be able to dig a grave.
And I wondered, am I giving my all?
I saw a woman who sat on a rock and refused to go on because she had suffered so much privation and weakness. A miracle helped her choose to go on.
And I empathized with her weakness and feelings of being overwhelmed.
And I wondered, how many miracles have helped me stand back up when I've faltered?
How many more will I need to get to Zion?
Can I, like her, remember the past miracles and be grateful when I am tempted to despair?
I saw people suffering beyond imagination for what they believed in. The world would have called them fools.
And I wondered, am I listening to the wisdom of man more than trusting in God?
The movie was called 17 miracles.
The 18th miracle is the one going on inside of me”
This is a rare treat for us, but we decided to splurge since my sister's family is in the movie.
Our money was not wasted.
Scene after scene made me weep as I watched the faith of the early Saints being tried and tested.
And I wondered, has my faith been tested like that?
I watched people giving their all, burying their little ones and dear sweethearts.
If they were lucky enough to be able to dig a grave.
And I wondered, am I giving my all?
I saw a woman who sat on a rock and refused to go on because she had suffered so much privation and weakness. A miracle helped her choose to go on.
And I empathized with her weakness and feelings of being overwhelmed.
And I wondered, how many miracles have helped me stand back up when I've faltered?
How many more will I need to get to Zion?
Can I, like her, remember the past miracles and be grateful when I am tempted to despair?
I saw people suffering beyond imagination for what they believed in. The world would have called them fools.
And I wondered, am I listening to the wisdom of man more than trusting in God?
The movie was called 17 miracles.
The 18th miracle is the one going on inside of me”
My sister
shared the following thoughts about the experience:
“Okay, I am just going to
keep it real here, and admit that while I have always admired and appreciated
the pioneers, when Kevin and I were asked to go on trek with the youth in our
stake, I was VERY glad that I was pregnant, and had a good reason to decline.
My thought on that has always been,” Why would anyone want to reenact other
people’s terrible, hard, tragic, and otherwise miserable experiences?????”
Well, I am here to admit, that going through the winter unit of this movie did
give me insight and love for these people with a new eye of understanding. I
would not want to do it again, but I am thankful to have had that small glimpse
not of the suffering necessarily, but of the strength that they had, and that
testimony that surely their strong spirits must have in some way supported
their bodies, because there is not a way that they could have endured what they
endured without miracles.
Our first day of the winter
unit was Kenzie’s scene, where she portrayed the death and revival of a young
girl in one of the companies. It was pretty far below freezing that entire day,
and we could not get warm. We had layers, we had heaters, and still we were
just exhausted with cold. It was disconcerting not only to see my daughter in
makeup depicting this young girl’s death, but it made me wonder how that girl
must have felt to be brought back to life in such conditions. Honestly.
Our second day on the winter unit was
Kimball’s day. This day was a bit warmer, but it didn’t stop snowing once. We
were all soaked through, and Kimball had holes in his shoes, and was shivering
before we had even gotten to location. Again, we could not get warm. Everyone
was miserable, and we would take turns taking kids shoes off and trying to warm
their feet in front of the heater, but it didn’t do much good because
everything was soaking wet. Several times I took Kimball’s shoes off and put
his feet on my stomach to try and get them warm. Kimball and his friend
Savannah played two children who died on the trail. This day they filmed them in
a common grave, and again, I did not like seeing the death makeup on my child.
They also shot a scene at the end of the day of he (Nels Nelson) and Bodil
struggling in the snow right before they die. It was a poignant scene, and
people were taking great photos of it, but I don’t think I could ever hang this
photo up and look at it every day. It is too much for me to think about. I know
this doesn’t need to even be said, but I had a bed to go home to that night,
and a fireplace and hot chocolate, and because of the exhaustion, and the
relief to get home that day, I felt that I would not soon take that for
granted. The thought did not escape me that it must be terrible to have no
place that is a refuge. How could these mothers and fathers cope with watching their
children starve and freeze, and they had no way to help them? I kind of can’t
even think about it. That day broke my heart, really.
I think everyone likes to fancy that
somewhere in their lineage there is some royalty, or some “blue blood.” It has come
to my attention as of late, that in my case, this is not true. My dad has been
relating a lot of stories lately about our “redneck” ancestors. But what this experience has given
me is a sense that I have the blood of stalwart, unfailing, and faithful people
running through my veins, and that they were able to see and experience these
kinds of things and get through it because they knew what they were doing was a
great work. I believe that they were given a sense of vision of what this would
mean to us as their descendants, and I will be forever appreciative of it, and
have the utmost respect and gratitude for them.”
God is
going to ask us to do hard things, and he will not rescue us from the very
things he has prepared to refine us. I
realized that I had been praying for the wrong kind of help. I
have learned that Christ did not come to save us from our circumstances. When we believe that he did, we make the same
mistake that the Jews of his day made.
Christ came to save us from our sins.
And when we turn to Him, he will, in mercy, show us our weaknesses,
humble us, and refine us.
I
began a process of learning to center my life on Christ, on choosing happiness
no matter my circumstances, on being thankful in all things. All Things—including trials. It was a new kind of gratitude. Instead of just looking outside my misery and
trying to find beautiful things around me or being glad that it wasn’t any
worse, I began to see the beauty in the trials themselves. I learned that pain, disappointment, and
difficulty are part of the package of the gift of mortality.
When I
started using the pain and irritation as an invitation to think of Christ and
what He suffered for me, the trials no longer had the power to affect my
personal peace.
In order for the pioneers to get up each
morning and work through such extremities, they had to have something to go on
besides sheer endurance. And we all know
that getting to the Salt Lake Valley did not end their hardships. Hoping for a better world may seem fruitless
in our own seasons of extremity, especially when we are offered no immediate
escape from the trial or perhaps no relief until the end of this life. But I believe there is power in the hope
itself. Hope in Christ has the ability
to make the trials of today bearable and even sweet.
The motto
by which we honor pioneers is Faith in Every Footstep. We have heard the stories of what that meant
to them. We sing about pioneer children
who sang as they walked and walked and walked and walked. We know that they kept walking even when they
left bloody footprints in the snow. We
weep when we hear of little ones buried in shallow, cold graves or young
children left to live and finish the journey on their own. We shudder to think of being so cold, so
sick, and so hungry. Yet they walked on,
sang on, prayed on, and worked on because they knew they were following
Christ. Like my sister said, we do not
honor them for their suffering, we honor them for their faith in Christ. They trusted that they were laying the
foundation for a great work. They saw
miracles of rescue and relief, but more important, they were miracles
themselves! They were truly giving all
to follow Christ and they had no regrets.
All was well with them because they were with Christ. They knew there was a greater wealth to be
found in following him than in all they left behind. We would do well to consider that they gave
up that which our culture most treasures for a life in Christ. We reap the benefits of that great work that
they laid the foundation for. They
believed in it and hoped for it. We
witness and experience it.
And so we
too can be miracles. The great work is
not finished. Our own footsteps can be
as faithful as theirs. In Hebrews 11:1
it tells us that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of
things not seen. “ Indeed the faith of
the pioneers is evidence that there was and is a greater cause to live for than
the accomplishments and praise of the world.
Knowing that faith is a substance helps us understand the importance of
nurturing and exercising it. In Alma 32
we are given a great analogy about nourishing faith as a seed. What can we do to nourish our faith? Pray.
Read the words of God and his prophets.
Ponder and write. In our
fitness-crazed culture where we are encouraged to write down everything we take
into our bodies, are we as careful and regular about what we take into our
souls? Is your spiritual food diary full
of regular, nourishing feasts with plenty of snacks in between? I know I have a lot of work to do to improve
my spiritual diet. When we nourish our
faith, we are doing things that will invite the Holy Spirit to be with us. We must also be aware of the many devices and
distractions that drive His influence form our lives.
Now that
we know how to nourish faith, how do we exercise it? In short, we follow the promptings of the
Holy Ghost and keep the commandments. We
work toward having faith in EVERY footstep.
Not just the steps we take down the halls of the church or the temple. Not just the steps that lead us to our knees
in prayer. When we truly have faith in
every footstep, we are allowing Christ into every single part of our lives. We are loving Him with all of our might,
mind, and strength. Success will begin
to look less and less like the standards the world sets and more and more like
a day where more footsteps were taken in faith.
We begin to see that every moment of our lives is really an opportunity
to accept or reject Christ. To walk by
faith or by fear.
The
first time I put this principle into
practice was during a tantrum of my then 3 year old. It was almost comical how something that
would normally wind me up and fill me with temptations to be angry or hurtful
or depressed became a fun challenge to see if I could remain in the
Spirit. Other footsteps may include
getting people ready for church, spilled milk, misunderstandings with a spouse,
problems at work, sickness, education—all of these steps can be taken in
faith. As we learn to increase our faithful
footsteps, life becomes more fun and joyful.
We begin to see with an eternal perspective. Our spiritual muscles become strong enough to
be steadfast in Christ no matter what our circumstances are. The cares of the world begin to slip away and
we realize that we can experience peace and joy and rest in the Lord and enjoy
His presence even while completing our life on this earth.
My prayer
for myself is that I will cease to be weary in well-doing. That I will put my shoulder to the wheel—even
that I will submit to the God-directed curriculum of my life and “ pick up my
handcart and move on.” That I will strive to take more faithful footsteps each
day. I hope that I will remember the
pioneers—not as a source of guilt and not merely because of their suffering,
but as an example of their faith and true success. I believe that they are some of the “angels
round about us, ready to bear us up” and help us have faith in every footstep.
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