Our first part of Christmas break was spent at home. We are so very blessed that Dallin gets the full 2 weeks off for Christmas break! I love it when he is home. It is so nice to take things at an easier pace. We have slow mornings with warm breakfast and scriptures and discussions and the guys do racquetball. I love it! This year we each drew a name to fill a stocking. Through the holiday season, I took each kid on a date to shop for their sibling's stocking gifts and their cousin gift. We also had a meal together. I LOVE spending that kind of time with my kids individually. It makes the whole season more fun because the kids are thinking of each other and being excited to fill a stocking on Christmas Eve.
Monday evening we had our Giving Day. I knew I was not functioning on a level that I could do a bunch of crafty projects this year, so I decided to rethink the tradition. I thought about drawing names, but one thing I really love about the tradition is that we each spend some time thinking about each family member. Simon tipped me off to a really great idea by making a Lego creation for me one day. I had him make one for each family member and he had them all wrapped up and under the tree in no time! I had the older kids think of something they loved and apply it to each family member. They came up with some great stuff! Ruby gave us each a Harry Potter character and told us why we are like that person. Nathan chose a favorite song and played it for each person and printed off the album cover with a note on the back. (I got a little teary-eyed when he played the one for me :)) Brandon drew pictures of different temples and a scripture to go along with it that matched each person's personality. Daisy made everyone stress-relief balls out of balloons and flour. Sarajoy made chex party mix for everyone and Sullivan made dipped pretzels. I made everyone a cute felt photo ornament. It was my only craft for the season, and I loved it! Making things really is part of what makes Christmas seem real to me. Dallin got these amazing Tri-Star balls that his co-worker makes for each of us and put a different scripture on each one. It was a wonderful, happy evening.
We took an evening to go visit the Norman Rockwell exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art. Going as a whole family was a bit overwhelming, but we took turns with the little ones to make it easier. I sat in the foyer of the exhibit where they had all of the Saturday Evening Post covers displayed. Sullivan and I played I Spy and found quite a few interesting things. After the museum we went to dinner as a family. That is not something we get to do a lot, and it was really enjoyable.
We packed up early on the 23rd so we would be able to enjoy Christmas Day at our house without the hustle and bustle of getting ready for a trip. It was kinda stressful for me, but the big kids and Dallin stepped in and made it all work.
We got invited to spend Christmas Eve with some of Dallin's family. That was a nice surprise. We had a nice dinner, fun little talent show, and a chance to act out the nativity with cousins. Lots of fun and important time with family. We came home feeling really glad we went! We did it early enough to get home in time to get things wrapped up and under the tree before too late. We opted to have Santa come with Jammies on Christmas Night since we were not sure when we would be getting home.
It was fun that Ruby wanted to be my wrapping buddy this year. She was so helpful! She was also Dallin's shopping buddy so I got some really great stuff in my stocking for the first time ever! I did something kind of silly but fun. In November we had studied ancient Africa and African folklore. My kids loved the story of Anansi the spider and his sons (Road-builder, Stone-thrower, River-Drinker, See-Trouble, Game-Skinner, and Cushion (so soft!) ) My kids had decided who each one would be, etc. So when I was wrapping their presents, instead of putting a name, I made up an Ashanti name and they had to try to guess who it was for. Dad was Bread-Winner, I was Home-Maker, Nathan was Friend-Maker, Brandon was Noise-Maker, Ruby was Hair-Winder, Daisy was Baby-Calmer, Simon was Bow-Singer, Sarajoy was Smile-Maker, Sullivan was Ball-Runner, and Corban was Cushion (so soft!). Yeah, I'm a nerd, but it was fun.
Christmas Day was really fun, with some great surprises. We opened gifts by the tree and had breakfast casserole. Then we opened stockings. I almost gave away Brandon's gift by putting a charger in his stocking!! Thankfully I claimed the mistake and he didn't suspect. I had a gift for each kid hidden in the basement. We often have hidden gifts by another tree, etc. to make the fun of the gifts stretch throughout the day. I was wondering if they would ever find the gifts! Finally, we were all down there watching a movie when someone made the discovery. Brandon had asked for a leather jacket, an iPhone, and a backpack. He had already opened the backpack that morning. I realized one day in December that I had a leather jacket from my sister that was a hand-me-down that I had never worn. Since I wasn't planning on getting him a jacket, I thought it would be the perfect hiding place for the iPhone. I found a iphone4 really cheap on Amazon, so I was really excited and wanted him to be surprised. I was pretty sure he was not really expecting that gift. So I put the cell phone in the pocket of the jacket and wrapped it up. I was hoping he would get really excited, put the jacket on, and then put his hand in the pocket. He DID! It was just like that, and we got some great shots of his discovery! Sulli got his much longed for Iron Man suit, Simon got a bunch of Ninjago Lego guys, Daisy got a treehouse for her Calico Critters and Woodzeez, and Sarajoy got a tea set in a basket. Ruby's gift was really fun. She wanted the entire Harry Potter DVD collection. I was thinking it would be too expensive, but since she wasn't asking for much else I figured I would just get it. Then one day I looked on the Amazon deals, and it was only 24.99! I was pretty excited, and she was excited to get it. Long before Christmas, Nathan had banged up his ukulele and said how much he would like a nicer one. But when Christmas rolled around, he said not to get him anything and spend the money on the kids (love that kid!). I went ahead and got him a nicer ukulele and hid it in plain sight. We have had a really old brown uke for years that doesn't really work very well. It has kind of just been a toy. We have it hanging on a hook in our living room. I took it down and put the new uke up and told Nathan to find his present. I think we had to give him quite a few clues before he found it. So fun! We had some delicious beans cooked with leftover Christmas ham for dinner and made our last minute preparations.
We left for Idaho very early the next morning in order to make it for the Porter Christmas Party. Traditional waffles and soufflé for brunch followed by talent show, minute to win it games, and a gift exchange. We played Joy to the World in 3 parts as a string ensemble. (Plus Dallin on the harmonica!) Brandon took the bass part on the cello, I played the alto on my violin, Daisy and Simon played the melody, and Sarajoy and Sullivan played along to the rhythm, making it up as they went. It was really, really fun! Playing music together has been a highlight of my year and a dream come true that I never thought would happen for our family. I made some ornaments for my sister Amy that have the different names of the Savior on them. I printed some of them off of the internet, but used photoshop to make several of my own that I discovered while doing my Book of Mormon challenge earlier in the year. We gave Brady some disco lights since they have the "party" house. They came in handy for our New Year's Just Dance party. So fun! My sister-in-law Darcie made me a really awesome Logan Temple picture from paper cutouts. Dallin got a drone from Chris. They also gave us a monopoly card game. We were the recipients of the Grinch Bag, the family gag gift that gets passed around. I had made some offhand comment at the Sisters' retreat that I had a childhood dream that someone would sing Lionel Richie's "Ballerina Girl" to me. Kim made my dream come true by having Dallin sing it to me while wearing an amazing black afro. We also got a Rudolph nose and antlers for our car.
We loved staying at Amy and Brady's house again this year. We learned to play monopoly cards and Zeus on the loose. We watched Phineas and Ferb and played I Spy in their awesome look-alike Christmas book. We loved being there for sweet Freya's blessing day and spending some time with Renee's family. For a day or two, the most amazing ice crystals fell from the sky and gathered on our car and the trees. It was really relaxing and fun and hard to pack up and come home.
When we pulled into the driveway on New Year's eve, our good neighbor came right over and invited us to eat and celebrate at their house. What a blessing! To come home to an empty cold house with no food and disappointed kids was not pleasant. We had chosen to come home for the big kids to celebrate with friends and so we would have some time to settle in and take down Christmas before school started again. It was such a great offering that they would let our whole big family come and eat and play for awhile. We played some games and ate great food and came home early enough to settle in for the night. We watched the ball drop in New York and sang some songs and made some noise and threw streamers. I think we watched a movie, too. Good times. We wrapped up our holiday fun by taking everyone to the new Star Wars movie the next day. We all really enjoyed it, though I was glad I had already seen it with Dallin because I think I ran someone to the bathroom at least 3 times. Happy, Happy Holidays!
We've Given Up the Easy Life for the Good Life
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Christmas Treasures
December started off with the Festival of Trees. My dear friend Elisa invited me to go with her to participate in one of her favorite Christmas traditions. This year she needed her husband to stay home with the baby so she invited me and another friend, our midwife Roxanna. The 3 of us enjoyed catching up a little on the hour drive to the event. I was pretty blown away by the amazing trees and displays that people had donated. There was also a display of hundreds of gingerbread houses. It was certainly a festive occasion! A nice dinner was served to all of the patrons and they had gift shops in addition to the trees that were up for auction. I chose something in the gift shop for each of the kids and Elisa surprised us by paying for our things at checkout! What a fun Christmas gift!
We've been saving all our our candy since Halloween for gingerbread houses. We got started by making the dough and cutting the houses for our first family activity for the month. The next week we paired up with a buddy and decorated our houses. They were really fun! I found a pattern for a small house online which turned out to be just right since we were making so many. Sullivan was my buddy. His favorite part was filling the chimney with various candies. It was lots of fun and mess and we loved our little gingerbread village that stayed in our kitchen for the whole season. The big boys were exercising when we called them back upstairs for some pictures, so they thought they'd be funny and not put their shirts back on. Instead they made them into ninja masks. The little boys were enthralled with that idea! Later that night, I stepped out of my room only to find a ninja hovering over my doorway. Simon had climbed the wall with his ninja mask on. He was so excited that he "got" me. Late that night as I went up to bed, I saw 2 little ninjas creeping around their room. It was pretty cute so I pretended I didn't see and let them stay up. (That wasn't happening when they tried again the next night, though.)
We had our ward breakfast that first Friday. The kids were in a little nativity for it. For some reason, Sarajoy wouldn't participate. (I suspect she wanted to be Mary and didn't get the part) After the breakfast, we headed into Payson to a stake center that was hosting a crèche exhibit. It was really lovely.
The next Friday was the golden night to get together with our Spanish Fork friends. Once upon a time we got together with them on an almost monthly basis. Now we are all in the thick of busy life with big kids that makes it really hard to find a night we can all get together. We had tried earlier in the year before I had the baby, and there was not a single night that would work. I was thrilled that we found ONE night in December that worked! It was a happy, happy night for me to have those good people in our home again. We had great food, great conversation, played some games, and ended up visiting the Birds' new house just down the road in Payson. Being with people I love makes the holiday season so much more wonderful!
Time for family pictures. Ugh. Is there any way to make this not stressful? Well, we actually got as close as we possibly could this year. My friend Marcie offered to take them for us at the park just across the street. The picture part was pretty quick and painless, even if it was snowy and cold. She was here for less than an hour. But getting ready is always so stressful! Getting all of the outfits clean and together and just right, then getting everyone dressed and hair done but not so early that it gets messed up--it seems like there was too much to do at the very end. We were 15 minutes late, even though I scheduled it at 3:30pm and worked on it all day! Thanks to Marcie, they turned out amazing! She was so quick at the park where we really were freezing. Then home for a quick outfit change and into the backyard in our Christmas clothes. Nathan started the whole Santa/Elf thing by going with his friends and getting some plush one-piece Santa jammies. I realized the little boys already had Santa jammies from last year and Dallin has had a Santa suit for years. I made a mental note to get a picture of just them sometime during the season. Then I walked into Shopko one day and saw the funnest elf shirts for me and Ruby. They also had the Dollie and Me elf jammies for the 2 younger girls. So I grabbed Brandon some Santa jammies a few days later and we were all set for some sweet North Pole family photos. Dallin and I laughed that we might be qualifying ourselves for some Awkward Family Photos, but they were a lot of fun and turned out great! (And somehow, in the end I ended up digging in dirty laundry to get one set of elf pajamas that I had missed in all of my preparation. sigh.)
Brandon decided to participate with Millenial Choirs and Orchestra this semester. I was really glad he wanted to do it because I have heard such great things about that organization. He had a wonderful experience, and we were excited for his concert. But there were a few obstacles to overcome first. #1: Cost. The tickets were $30 and we were responsible for 10. A little fact in the participation agreement I had overlooked. Thankfully, the grandparents were willing to pay for their own. We took a deep breath and bought the rest and hoped for the best. Obstacle #2: No babies allowed. This would not have been a huge deal if the venue had been closer (over an hour away) or if my older kids didn't all want to come, or if Brandon didn't have to be there 4 hours before the performance started. Thankfully, the neighbors across the street offered to have the kids for the day. I was still really worried about being away from my baby for so long. #3: Sullivan had a fever Sunday night and threw up Monday morning. I was not quite sure how to deal with this little wrinkle in the plan. Amazingly, my neighbor's response was: "Of course you are going anyway, we have dealt with sick kids before." #4: Gigantic snowstorm all day long. Like, 9" by noon and more coming down. Like, over 300 accidents on the interstate along the Wasatch front. We went anyway. We met my parents in Salt Lake City (about 45 minutes later than planned, but alive) and had dinner at Blue Lemon. Then we got to walk around Temple Square and see the lights. They were breathtaking with the inches of newly fallen snow on them. I loved it! I have been trying to create an experience like this for my family for years, and my other 2 attempts had been far from what I had imagined. This was even better. (Though I could have spent more time there). I was very impressed and moved by the performance. It lived up to the price of the tickets and filled my soul! We got home very late. I think I had been away from Corban for 10 hours. ( He has not wanted anything to do with strangers since) He had had a rough time, but was asleep when we got there. Sullivan had not had any problems. They were all well cared for. We were SO grateful!
Nathan's school Christmas program was that week as well. It was really well done and inspiring!
One of my very favorite Christmas treasures was having my cousin Debbie and her family stay with us for a few days. I spent every Christmas of my childhood and a few of my adult life with Debbie's family the Hustons in Arizona. It was so wonderful to have her and her husband and 4 kids here. It felt like it was really Christmas! Her kids luxuriated in the piles of snow in the yard. Dallin and I luxuriated in having Russ and Debbie to talk and joke with for 2 days. Russ luxuriated in playing racquetball in our backyard racquetball court! They were here for the Christmas program in our ward where I sang. I also taught Relief Society that day, and it was fun to have Debbie in class. It was a great way to start off official Christmas break!
We've been saving all our our candy since Halloween for gingerbread houses. We got started by making the dough and cutting the houses for our first family activity for the month. The next week we paired up with a buddy and decorated our houses. They were really fun! I found a pattern for a small house online which turned out to be just right since we were making so many. Sullivan was my buddy. His favorite part was filling the chimney with various candies. It was lots of fun and mess and we loved our little gingerbread village that stayed in our kitchen for the whole season. The big boys were exercising when we called them back upstairs for some pictures, so they thought they'd be funny and not put their shirts back on. Instead they made them into ninja masks. The little boys were enthralled with that idea! Later that night, I stepped out of my room only to find a ninja hovering over my doorway. Simon had climbed the wall with his ninja mask on. He was so excited that he "got" me. Late that night as I went up to bed, I saw 2 little ninjas creeping around their room. It was pretty cute so I pretended I didn't see and let them stay up. (That wasn't happening when they tried again the next night, though.)
We had our ward breakfast that first Friday. The kids were in a little nativity for it. For some reason, Sarajoy wouldn't participate. (I suspect she wanted to be Mary and didn't get the part) After the breakfast, we headed into Payson to a stake center that was hosting a crèche exhibit. It was really lovely.
The next Friday was the golden night to get together with our Spanish Fork friends. Once upon a time we got together with them on an almost monthly basis. Now we are all in the thick of busy life with big kids that makes it really hard to find a night we can all get together. We had tried earlier in the year before I had the baby, and there was not a single night that would work. I was thrilled that we found ONE night in December that worked! It was a happy, happy night for me to have those good people in our home again. We had great food, great conversation, played some games, and ended up visiting the Birds' new house just down the road in Payson. Being with people I love makes the holiday season so much more wonderful!
Time for family pictures. Ugh. Is there any way to make this not stressful? Well, we actually got as close as we possibly could this year. My friend Marcie offered to take them for us at the park just across the street. The picture part was pretty quick and painless, even if it was snowy and cold. She was here for less than an hour. But getting ready is always so stressful! Getting all of the outfits clean and together and just right, then getting everyone dressed and hair done but not so early that it gets messed up--it seems like there was too much to do at the very end. We were 15 minutes late, even though I scheduled it at 3:30pm and worked on it all day! Thanks to Marcie, they turned out amazing! She was so quick at the park where we really were freezing. Then home for a quick outfit change and into the backyard in our Christmas clothes. Nathan started the whole Santa/Elf thing by going with his friends and getting some plush one-piece Santa jammies. I realized the little boys already had Santa jammies from last year and Dallin has had a Santa suit for years. I made a mental note to get a picture of just them sometime during the season. Then I walked into Shopko one day and saw the funnest elf shirts for me and Ruby. They also had the Dollie and Me elf jammies for the 2 younger girls. So I grabbed Brandon some Santa jammies a few days later and we were all set for some sweet North Pole family photos. Dallin and I laughed that we might be qualifying ourselves for some Awkward Family Photos, but they were a lot of fun and turned out great! (And somehow, in the end I ended up digging in dirty laundry to get one set of elf pajamas that I had missed in all of my preparation. sigh.)
Brandon decided to participate with Millenial Choirs and Orchestra this semester. I was really glad he wanted to do it because I have heard such great things about that organization. He had a wonderful experience, and we were excited for his concert. But there were a few obstacles to overcome first. #1: Cost. The tickets were $30 and we were responsible for 10. A little fact in the participation agreement I had overlooked. Thankfully, the grandparents were willing to pay for their own. We took a deep breath and bought the rest and hoped for the best. Obstacle #2: No babies allowed. This would not have been a huge deal if the venue had been closer (over an hour away) or if my older kids didn't all want to come, or if Brandon didn't have to be there 4 hours before the performance started. Thankfully, the neighbors across the street offered to have the kids for the day. I was still really worried about being away from my baby for so long. #3: Sullivan had a fever Sunday night and threw up Monday morning. I was not quite sure how to deal with this little wrinkle in the plan. Amazingly, my neighbor's response was: "Of course you are going anyway, we have dealt with sick kids before." #4: Gigantic snowstorm all day long. Like, 9" by noon and more coming down. Like, over 300 accidents on the interstate along the Wasatch front. We went anyway. We met my parents in Salt Lake City (about 45 minutes later than planned, but alive) and had dinner at Blue Lemon. Then we got to walk around Temple Square and see the lights. They were breathtaking with the inches of newly fallen snow on them. I loved it! I have been trying to create an experience like this for my family for years, and my other 2 attempts had been far from what I had imagined. This was even better. (Though I could have spent more time there). I was very impressed and moved by the performance. It lived up to the price of the tickets and filled my soul! We got home very late. I think I had been away from Corban for 10 hours. ( He has not wanted anything to do with strangers since) He had had a rough time, but was asleep when we got there. Sullivan had not had any problems. They were all well cared for. We were SO grateful!
Nathan's school Christmas program was that week as well. It was really well done and inspiring!
One of my very favorite Christmas treasures was having my cousin Debbie and her family stay with us for a few days. I spent every Christmas of my childhood and a few of my adult life with Debbie's family the Hustons in Arizona. It was so wonderful to have her and her husband and 4 kids here. It felt like it was really Christmas! Her kids luxuriated in the piles of snow in the yard. Dallin and I luxuriated in having Russ and Debbie to talk and joke with for 2 days. Russ luxuriated in playing racquetball in our backyard racquetball court! They were here for the Christmas program in our ward where I sang. I also taught Relief Society that day, and it was fun to have Debbie in class. It was a great way to start off official Christmas break!
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
How It's Been
this post has been milling around in my mind for months. It is hard to describe how life has been since Corban joined us. I'm worried that trying to give words to the hardness will create misunderstanding. I don't want to give people the feeling I am unhappy or that I have any regrets. I want to be a champion for families and I hate to think of people seeing behind the scenes and thinking "that's not for me", or worse, "that's what you get for having so many kids." I feel a lot of pressure to put on a happy face and make it all look perfect.
The reality is, this life of mine is perfect. It is exactly the kind of schooling my person needs to be refined into something better. But it looks kinda messy. It feels like waking up to the impossible every day, every minute. Which means either really exciting or really scary.
The past few years I have deliberately worked to remove fear from my life. Because of this I can honestly say this isn't the hardest time of my life. There have been times that felt heavier than this because I didn't have the spiritual fortitude to keep out the bad guys. But I have certainly felt dragged around and beat up by life in the past 6 months. Waking up to the impossible means I get up and work relentlessly: mentally, physically, and emotionally, and at the end of the day there is so much still left undone, unanswered, or below expectations. I am constantly dealing with so much input and trying to keep track of so much. I'm constantly tempted to let the bad guys in who want me to fall into despair and overwhelm. I'm constantly thinking about ways to improve the management of the household so it will run more smoothly and give me the time and space for things that are missing. It is hard, hard, work that rarely lets up.
It leaves me feeling vulnerable. Being A naturally confident person, this is a new feeling for me. It is hard for me to feel safe in social situations that normally would be no problem. I have to wonder if people understand the intensity of my life and that certain things just aren't a priority for me anymore. And it has been hard to write. I feel so humble and incompetent and, well, just too tired.
The reality is, this life of mine is perfect. It is exactly the kind of schooling my person needs to be refined into something better. But it looks kinda messy. It feels like waking up to the impossible every day, every minute. Which means either really exciting or really scary.
The past few years I have deliberately worked to remove fear from my life. Because of this I can honestly say this isn't the hardest time of my life. There have been times that felt heavier than this because I didn't have the spiritual fortitude to keep out the bad guys. But I have certainly felt dragged around and beat up by life in the past 6 months. Waking up to the impossible means I get up and work relentlessly: mentally, physically, and emotionally, and at the end of the day there is so much still left undone, unanswered, or below expectations. I am constantly dealing with so much input and trying to keep track of so much. I'm constantly tempted to let the bad guys in who want me to fall into despair and overwhelm. I'm constantly thinking about ways to improve the management of the household so it will run more smoothly and give me the time and space for things that are missing. It is hard, hard, work that rarely lets up.
It leaves me feeling vulnerable. Being A naturally confident person, this is a new feeling for me. It is hard for me to feel safe in social situations that normally would be no problem. I have to wonder if people understand the intensity of my life and that certain things just aren't a priority for me anymore. And it has been hard to write. I feel so humble and incompetent and, well, just too tired.
But it has been so refining! If anything could rub off my rough edges this would be it. I appreciate the things that I have learned especially my ever-increasing need to rely upon the Lord. He never fails to come to my aid, not always with answers, but always with peace.
My life is perfectly hard, and perfectly good. By choosing to give life once again and all of the hard things that go along with that choice, I am finding life more abundantly within myself.
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