Enough

You know that object lesson about fitting stones in a jar?
There is a pile of large stones, a pile of loose gravel, and a pile of sand. 
You have to fit them all in a jar. 
If you put the sand and gravel in first, you will never be able to fit the large rocks in.
But if you put the large rocks in, then the gravel, and then the sand--it all fits!

I've really been trying to put this concept into action in my life.  I realized the other day while taking my daughter to dance that I am way more committed to things like dance and sports and other activities than I am to family prayer and scripture study. 

Don't get me wrong, we do make an effort to do these things.  We always have.  I just haven't ever compared my commitment level this way.  It was a bit of a shocker for me. 
If someone is sick, or the baby was awake all night, or we just slept in a little too much, or we're having company, or several other small reasons, we forget to do it. 
I rarely forget lessons, and we try very hard to be on time. 

I am really trying to be more Christ-Centered.  I know that my family needs the strength to stand against the tide of evil in the world. 
The Lord is teaching me, line upon line, how to put first things first. 

So here we go....another Monday. 
The Monday after everybody being sick for 3 weeks. 
The Monday to take back all of the ground we feel like we've lost during the sickness.

We got everyone around the table at 7am (Okay, not the little 2.  Them being asleep during such activities is a GOOD thing right now). 
We took turns reading some verses, and discussed them a little.
We worked on our memorization of The Living Christ.
The bigger kids worked on chores while I got pulled every which way between diaper changes and feeding toddlers and trying to get the new cell phones running and printing off new chore planners for March.
Then I realized it has been a couple of years since we did our lamb/lion calendar for March.  It took way too long to get it printed off.  It kept shutting down my printer. 
It took me too long to remember to pray about it, but after I did the Lord showed me a way I hadn't thought of before. 

After chore game:  Pictionary
Devotional: A Hymn, a Primary Song, some Book of Mormon verses, a story from the Friend, a prayer, the pledge, the date and the weather.  Then some quick stretches and exercises. (this time let's count by 5's)

Baby to bed.  Playdoh out for Simon.  School Books out for the kids.
Mom!  MOM!  Moooooom!  Mom! MOM! I NEED YOUR HELP! 
(Sometimes I want to change my name for a day, or even just an hour.)
I think lunch happened sometime in there.  Thanks, Nate. And I got my lesson ready for co-op.

And by 2:00, I. just. have to. lie. down.
I try to snuggle Simon and see if he'll nap.  He doesn't last long.  I decide I'll just rest for 30 minutes until co-op. 
2:11--phone rings.  My co-op friend is stuck in Salt Lake and needs me to go pick up her kids.  (Her 15 year old is our Science teacher). 
I pick up her 6 kids and bring them to my house.  The other family shows up moments later.  We settle in and do our classes. 
Then we start on dinner.  It is usually so enjoyable and filling.  We usually have 2 other moms who don't have babies.  What a difference that makes! 
It was a little crazy with the babies crying and we're trying to discipline and calm and supervise 3 year olds cutting olives while we make navajo tacos for 24 people. 
Honestly, it was still really fun.  I squeezed in a few memorable sentences to my friend, and it is so nice to have someone around who KNOWS what you're going through. 
But, it was crazy. 
Just as I had the oil heated up and a few scones rolled flat and ready to fry, the phone rang.
It was the life insurance nurse who needed me to fill out a health questionnaire over the phone.  Really?  Now?
Sorry, Dallin, that you had to walk in just then. 
I can only imagine the picture he saw when he walked in the kitchen and me sitting at the table on the phone trying to remember how many times in the past 5 years I've had strep throat.  And the month and year of each episode. 
He disappeared with Sarajoy into the bedroom. (Thanks for taking her!!)

And the bread got fried and the friend returned from Salt Lake and though it took 2 trips in her tiny car, she got all 6 of her kids home.  And the other friend cleaned up and left with a smile. 

And I had a couple of minutes to catch up with the husband while the babies climbed and bounced around us on the bed. 

We ate.  Delicious Navajo tacos complete with fresh greens. (Tender Mercy as produce is not in the budget this month.)

They made us think of scones.  It seemed like the perfect FHE treat since the mess was already out. 
I fried up scones while they all cleaned the kitchen and prepared for FHE.

Brandon prepared a cute lesson on creation.  We all drew pictures as he assigned us a "day" of creation.  We ate scones.  The kids made their lunches for tomorrow.

Dallin put the little ones to bed while I put curlers in Ruby's hair for school.  She's been planning this hairstyle for about a week.  I was so tired, but I couldn't disappoint her.

And now everybody is in bed.
 I am tired, and I struggle as the Deceiver tries to tell me it was not enough.  Not enough exercise, not enough academics, not a clean enough house, not a cheerful enough mother, not enough food storage, not enough healthy food.

But look!  LOOK! Can more even fit?  Are some of those bits of gravel or grains of sand just going to have to fit in another jar at another time?

Recently in church, my sister's stake President asked the question to the women:  How do you know when you've done enough in a day?  What is it that counts when we stand before the Savior?
His answer consisted of 2 things:
direction and effort. 

Am i going in the right direction?
Did I give an honest effort?
Can I offer up this day in joy and thanksgiving? 
Will my offer be accepted?

yes.  Yes.  YES!

...

February Pictures

One of the best and most frequented seats in the house!

New jackets from Grandma Porter!

Just her size!  The perfect place to crash!

Life is good with blankies and pacis and a gorilla.

Trying to get comfortable...

Do you know what I love?

I woke up this morning to excitement. 

I felt rested.  Well.  Fabulous.

I could feel the almost-spring sun pushing through my window blinds.

It is coming.  I felt spring today, and it was joyful!

I noticed myself smiling today without even thinking about it.  It was as if nothing could make me frown.

This book I am reading has just helped me remember.

To notice.
To live in the moment.
To be thankful.

I decided to try gratitdude on my kids. 
Whenever they come to me griping or whining or fussing, I say,

"Do you know what I love?" 

I love your big green eyes.
I love the way your hair curls just enough to make you look very handsome.
I love the way your dark, thick, eyelashes frame your eyes. 
I love the way Simon's little bottom is resting on his feet.
I love the way the snow looks on the mountains.
I love the way the wind is blowing those big leaves across the road. 

It is very hard to look gratitude in the face and not respond with a smile.
It is work, but it works.

I am Glad

That the Lord has sent me a wonderful and inspiring friend.

That being sick has allowed me some extra time to read and ponder some important things.

That my little boy has climbed into bed with me the past 2 afternoons and snuggled up for a nap.  He rarely naps, and cuddle sessions in my bed are usually rowdy affairs.  It was so nice to just snuggle.

That I could make a chart of how I would like the day to go and know that my kids will do their best to follow it even though I am asleep in bed.

That just when my thoughts were turning very negative because I didn't feel like my husband was giving me the "get well" treatment I gave him, my friend from Vegas called and we had a long and thought-provoking conversation.

That I'm reading the book One Thousand Gifts, and being changed by it.

That I am learning to separate worth and performance.

That I was able to drag myself from my sickbed at 6am to take the youth to the temple this morning.  It was not easy.  I prayed that the angels would once again watch over my children at home.  I prayed that my sick stomach would not cause any embarassing emergencies during the temple trip.  I prayed that I would be able to endure. 
 By the fifth initiatory name, I was ready to curl up in a ball on the floor, but I made it through.  Mercifully, the kids got done early so I didn't have to wait for them.  Something snapped me to alertness on the drive home as my mind began to drift.  I was prompted to sing along to the music in order to stay awake. 

I came home to safe, happy kids. The embarassing emergencies didn't start until hours after I got home

And when I got home, I was able to rest.  and read.  and snuggle my babies. 

and think of my blessings.

What I Heard From the Baby Monitor

My good husband put my 2 little ones to bed tonight so I could work on plans for our home school Valentine Party on Friday.

The monitor in the kitchen was on.

I could hear my husband (the speech therapist) trying to coax sounds from my nearly non-verbal 19-month-old.

I heard some very sweet sounds.

Most of them were not coming from my little girl!

..

Name them one by one

What a trying week it has been!  I feel the need to count some blessings from today:

I did not have a power struggle with any of my kids over what to wear today!

We were 15 minutes early to church. ( I was supposed to be 30 minutes early for choir practice, but It was great to just have all of us there early together.)

My girls had heart-braids in their hair and their cute hair flowers that we made yesterday.

Ruby sang in the choir with me today without any fuss. 

Simon gave his first talk in church today.  He did a great job talking about Captain Moroni.  I am glad that he is not shy about such things even though he is pretty miffed that the Sunbeam thing wasn't a temporary position.  He keeps waiting for it to be time to go to his nursery class again. 

Brother Clark gave a powerful lesson about the Savior's miracles in Sunday School today.  I don't think I've EVER felt the spirit like that in Sunday School.  (Not that I've had a lot of chances to go to Sunday school, but that leads me to another thing I'm thankful for.)

Sarajoy LOVES nursery.  She gets excited about it when we put her dress on.  She loves her teacher and the toys and the snacks.  She NEVER cries about it.  Ahhhhhhh.

Relief society was enriching and nourishing. 

It was Taco Sunday.  Between October and March on the 2nd sunday of the month,  a family in our ward makes tacos for anyone and everyone who wants to come over for some good food and company.  Sarajoy was asleep at home with Dallin, so I had quite an enjoyable time. 

Simon was unusually cheerful today.  He was singing about life on his way out of church.  He got a cupcake from the Primary President to take home.  I caught him singing a few other times.  He played happily at Taco Sunday.  He threw rocks in puddles as we walked home in the WARM sunshine!

We stayed outside on the porch swing to soak up the sun.  It was beautiful!  Dallin even came out to enjoy with us. 

Our friends who are moving this week stopped by to say goodbye.  We had a really nice visit. 

We hardly had any dishes to do today because we had cereal for breakfast, tacos for lunch, and leftovers for dinner!

I had a few minutes to play the piano and sing before family council.  Ruby and Nathan even sang with me for part of the time. 

Dallin made me some delicious popcorn AND he gave me my Valentine chocolates early because he could tell I needed some chocolate!

Now I think I'm downright excited to start a new week.  So there!

..

Toddler Time

I had plans for today. 
It is Saturday, and Dallin and Nathan are away for a campout. 

I had a little housework that could be done.
I have lots of pictures that need to be blogged.
I haven't even started Sarajoy's scrapbook.
I have boxes of pictures from my old house that haven't been hung.
I owed Ruby some mommy and me time for her diligence in doing chores this week.
I want to catch up on my study of American History.
I am reading a very intriguing parenting book that I'd love to finish.
I have 2 other books I'm working my way through as well.
Several of the kids could use some catch-up time on their school work.
I could always use a nap.

I made breakfast and helped the kids get through their chores.

Ruby and I had a wonderful time making fabric flower clips.  We played a hide-the-thimble game after we were done.  We ended up with 4 cute clips and lots of laughter.

Then I tried to get started on one of my many great ideas for the day.  I managed to get some photos downloaded, labeled and uploaded onto the internet. 

In between, I tended my toddlers. 

Hoping to get them engaged in something really exciting, I got out my vintage Fisher Price Little People collection. 

They weren't nearly as impressed as I was.  I was amazed that all of my pieces were still there for each little set.  I set up a little village and my baby messed up whatever I did.  She was especially fond of the little baby, and kept hiding it in my shirt and giggling.
Slightly obsessed with finding all of my little "sets", I ran upstairs to get the swimming pool out of our bathtub. 
I only just had time to set it up when Simon found a little boat and REALLY wanted to play with it in real water.

I thought it might be a good time for a bath.  Simon brought the little boat and a couple of little people.  They played for a few minutes and got out and snuggled and got fresh clothes on. 

I came back to the computer, hoping they'd stay upstairs and play.  Nope.

I got them some pizza.  They were both so excited about it.  They sat and munched happily.  Twice, Simon proudly showed me his empty plate and asked for more. 

It really was nice to spend some time just with them.  They are really fun and adorable.  They've been somewhat neglected this week as I've tried to play Mom and Dad since Dallin has been sick.

Even as I sat to write this, Simon climbed up in my lap and drank his sippy cup while I typed. 

The other projects will still be there when I can finally get to them.  They really aren't that important. 

My toddlers will still be there when I get done typing this.  In fact, one of them is crying in time-out and the other one is crying in bed.  They had a little fight a minute ago. 

But those two little people will never again be exactly as they were today.  They won't always want to snuggle up after a bath.  They won't always want to play with my toy collection.  They won't always get excited about a piece of pizza cut into bite-sized squares. 

So, even though I am exhausted, I will try not to be resentful because I know that Toddler Time is Time Well Spent. 
It really is a privilege to know these little people.

...

Making time for the temple

Ever since my son turned 12, I have been trying to get him to the temple regularly.  For awhile, the home schoolers were meeting there weekly, but it kind of phased out just before Nathan could join in. 
For months, I have been trying to work it out, to no avail. 
I finally connected with a couple of families who were beginning to meet regularly again. 
Our first time, 3 weeks ago, we missed the email that said the time has changed.
The following week, I was prepared.  I picked up 3 other young men on my way. 
While they did baptisms, I did initiatories.  It was wonderful!  We sang hymns together on the way home.
We went again today, and it was great!  Most of these guys are taller than I.  It was fun walking into the temple with them.  I felt like I was surrounded by the army of Helaman! 

It takes about 3-3.5 hours of my day, but it is worth it.
I had to give up our most productive school day, but it is worth it.
I have recovering kids, a sick husband, was up several times in the night, had to get up at 6am, make breakfast, and get the younger kids to a sitter so they wouldn't disrupt Dallin's recovery.
It was worth it, it was worth it, it was worth it!

I am weary with exhaustion, and I don't know when or how I'll find the time to revamp my schedule once again. 

But it was worth it, and I know that if it is important, the Lord will help me fit it in.

He helped me make time for the temple!


...

Taking Care

Yesterday afternoon I came down with a terrible headache.

By the time I was finished eating dinner, it was debilitating.
I thought maybe I could lie down for a little while and feel better.
I thought maybe I could just rest and relax and read a little.
I couldn't.

I could only sleep.
And sleep.
I woke up for an hour or so when Dallin came in.
Then it was more sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, the headache was still there, threatening to come back full force if I stood up.
This is NOT how I wanted to spend my weekend!
But my body was telling me to stay in bed.

And it was Saturday, so I could.
Dallin and I watched the next section a Revolutionary War documentary that we've been working our way through.
I read "Laddie".
(I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love this book.)
I ate some chocolates that Dallin brought home yesterday.
I slept some more, and my children played quietly and didn't disturb me even though Dallin was gone to Nathan's basketball game.
I read some more, feeling somewhat guilty that I was having such a good time with my headache.
I had a feeling that I should get up at 4:00 and get the house and family ready for Sunday.
I read and read and paused now and then to snuggle with a little one or check on a commotion that I heard.

4:00 Came.
I finished my chapter.

My headache was gone.
The kids and I cleaned the house and made dinner.
I helped Dallin start a poetry blog. (He's a poet, don't you know it?)
We bathed the littles and got them to bed.
I did the dishes.

It was a good day.
I feel cared for.

Go Figure

The responsibility of teaching my kids academic skills has weighed very heavily on me this week. 

We do a lot of great things with our time, but we don't do a lot of academics. 
This is partly because of my educational philosophy.
I think that there are more important things for young children to learn, so we get to academics after the important stuff. 

Another reason is that it is near impossible with little people around. 

My oldest is just 18 months away from high school.  I want him to be prepared with the skills he needs to provide for his future family.
 It is hard not to be a little nervous.

Today while I was trying to help one of my boys with school work, I had a major meltdown. 

We were doing a timed reading, and the toddlers burst into the room, screaming ( I had locked the door). 

I am not proud of the way I reacted.  I wish I could go back and try again.

I wanted to go to my room and give up on the day. 

Brandon and I re-did the timed reading. 
I started checking Nathan's math.  He's really been struggling.  Only 5 correct.

WHEN???  WHEN???

When can I sit down with my son and help him through this?  NEVER!

I can't do anything without being interrupted!  I'm so tired of not being able to help my older kids!

The fact that I thought to pray is a miracle in itself.  I guess I'm learning something. 

I called Dallin and asked him if he would be willing and able to handle dinner and cleanup. 
(Canned chili and Fritos can't be too bad.)

I wondered where I could go spend an hour or so with Nathan where we would have quiet and no interruptions. 

I thought of our neighbors 2 doors down who have no children at home.  I felt a little silly asking if I could borrow a quiet room to do some math, but I did it. 

It was amazing!  We got through the problems so quickly and efficiently.  I think he really understood this time because he could think it through with me watching him step-by-step. 

I walked out of their home into the frigid air.  It has been hovering around 0 today. 
The sky was a brilliant navy blue with flecks of stars just starting to peep through. 

When I got into the house, I was met by a tired, tantruming  three-year-old and a sick baby. 

But I handled it well.  I enjoyed being with my kids.  We made Mother Goose popcorn and read stories.

And we all went to bed happy.

Triumph.

Quiet

My little 19-month old is sick right now. 

But she is not too sick to do her cutest new trick:

When she sees someone or something sleeping, she says, "SHHHH"

Except instead of saying "shhhh", she holds her chubby little finger up to her rounded lips

and blows.

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