March Pictures

She makes me tired too, Simon!  But we sure love her!

Whose leg?

Dallin is holding Sarajoy.  Sarajoy is holding a lifelike doll.  The doll's leg is showing in such a way it looks like Sarajoy's!

Happy Birthdy, Brandon!

This 11 year old knows how to party!  Hooray for fruit pizza!

Dance performance with Children's Visions

Nathan the Robot

Daisy the Snowman

Ruby

How ya feelin?  Why is this girl always sick?

I crocheted these babies for Sarajoy for Christmas.

It's just the best place to drink a ba-ba.

Lovely Spring sunlight.  Lovely flowers from the dance program.

Another lovely flower...Daisy!

Ruby-red flowers for our gem!

Light of my life.

I made these for my neighbor in exchange for some jewelry.  These are smaller and even cuter than the ones I made for Sarajoy.  I just love them!

Congratulations, Brandon on getting your Arrow of Light.  Carter May got his that day, too.

Pinewood Derby.  Great idea, Brandon.  Tyson McKenzie on Right.

Mom giving a spotlight on Brandon at the Arrow of Light.

Spunky thing!

Stiffnecked

There's nothing like a stiff neck to tempt you to become stiffnecked!

A couple of weeks ago, I hurt my neck while helping a friend move a piano.  I thought I'd save my back so I laid on my side and put my shoulder against the piano and pushed with my legs against a wall. 
Apparently that was a bad idea.
For a couple of days, I just had monster headaches. 
Then, my neck just felt stiff and out of whack for a few days.  I thought it would eventually work itself out.
It was getting worse and worse, and by day 10 I was thinking I might need some professional help.
Overnight, all of the pain and tension switched from one side to the other and got much worse. 

I went to the chiropractor.  It felt great to have all of those kinks worked out. 
He told me I need to take it easy for a few days so the adjustment could settle in. 
I had no idea I was in for 3 days of excruciating pain. 
This is not as bad as a spinal headache or childbirth, but it is the next worst thing I've felt.

If I take some ibuprophen and sleep for a couple of hours, I can get up and feel normal for a few hours.
I am thankful for that. 
It made it possible for us to go to Jumpin Jacks with the home schoolers yesterday. 
It made the long-awaited trip to the mall to get the boys new shoes doable.
It made the Pinewood Derby go okay. 
The temple was pretty rough, but we made it!

For the most part, I haven't let it get me down too much.  It has been fun to read A Girl of the Limberlost.  It has been nice to rest. 
But I'm finding my temper is getting shorter and my desire to do any work is completely gone. 

How do I not feel discouraged by that?
How do I not feel like I'm losing precious ground so recently obtained?
What do I even pray for? 

I have been praying every day that I am thankful for this trial, but I haven't actually felt like that is true.  It is more of an experiment.
 I actually really, really want it to go away.  I pray for that, too.
I wish I could welcome it and face it with courage and gratitude. 
I want to use it for spiritual growth, become a better person for it. 
I wish I could endure without complaint.

I guess I have to be satisfied that I think I've endured it a little better than I would have a year ago. 
I've at least thought about being thankful.  I've desired the spiritual growth.  I've complained a little less and pressed forward a little more.  I've enjoyed and embraced the chance for quiet and rest.  I've apologized and mended feelings when my temper got the best of me.
I made dinner and changed diapers and drove kids to their end of year party for dance class and prepared a spotlight for Brandon to earn his Arrow of Light. 

And for one full hour, I chose to enjoy the two little people who hopped on my bed while I was resting. 
My legs were a boat.  They rowed and rowed and then fell out onto the pillows. 
My fingers were pickles.  "Cut the pickle, tickle tickle!"
My lips were blessed with several magical kisses.
And it didn't hurt my neck a bit!

Visitors

My sister brought her 6 kids here to spend the last few days of their Spring break.

I LOVE having visitors.

For me it was someone to talk to and laugh with not to mention the extra pair of hands for meals and cleaning.

For the kids it was 3 days of fun.

The big kids did an egg hunt for the younger kids.  We were glad they thought of making tiny origami hopping frogs instead of candy since both families have had a long stretch of sickness.

Some of the kids built a giant fort in the racquetball court.

Daisy and Emily had hours and hours to play house and animals and little people and "Annie".

The bigger kids made friends with the neighbors and they played night games despite the 2 inches of fresh snow.

 Our friend who grew up across the street from us has a daughter in the hospital so my sister and I took a couple of the older kids to go visit her.

We played a few rounds of Sorry, Pictionary, and introduced the kids to Pig Mania.  The adults even had a few laughing games of Mr. Mouth and Operation.

We took my sister out to dinner since its been awhile since she had a date. (Her husband is in Iraq)

We giggled at the two baby girls who were playing dollies together and saying new little words.

We smiled at the antics of the 3 year old boys who are newly potty-trained.

We waved long and loud as they all drove away.

We hope they can come again soon!

Today I Took A Minute

To eat breakfast!  I normally don't get to eat before we go to the temple. 

To get some stuff done for Activity Days Recognition Night.

To get the laundry started (on laundry day, too!)

To nurse my baby until she fell asleep in my arms while I was visiting with a friend.

To watch the honeybees enjoying the warm sunshine and the fragrant hyacinths in the front yard.

To teach my little boy about honeybees.  He was so excited to "go to work like a bee" after that!

To finish and deliver some crochet babies I made for my neighbor.
To make a list of projects that I want to do.

To help my boys finish their math.

To rinse and drain the sprouts.

To sing "Bicycle Built for Two" with my baby who is proud that she can say "Daisy" so well.

To sort through hand-me-downs with my girls.  Fashion show time! (There were lots of adorable dresses.  I love it when my girls wear dresses!)

To fold AND put away some laundry.

Nothing energizes and enlivens me like a sunny Spring day!


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One more thing:

Last night, Sarajoy woke every 30-60 minutes between 11pm and 3am.  I knew if it kept going, I would not be able to wake up for the temple.  I was so tired, I asked Dallin to take a turn somewhere after 3.  He willingly did so.  The next thing I knew, it was 6am and Dallin's alarm was going off.  I turned off the clock and slept until my alarm went off.  Then I went down to study my scriptures, thinking Dallin was already up and studying.  The light was on in the Library/Guest Room, but all I saw at the desk was Sarajoy's stuffed gorilla that she likes to sleep with.  Then I looked over and saw the two lumps in the bed and I realized he had brought her down here so I could sleep.  There they were, cuddling in the bed together. 

How I love those two people!

What Today Was Like

It started like a normal Friday. 
Daddy got everyone up for scriptures.
Nathan was cooking french toast when we all came in the kitchen.
After scriptures, Ruby led us in our memorization of The Living Christ.
We prayed and listened to Irish Folk Music while everyone did chores.

But then, Daddy didn't go to work!  It was a day off!
I did my study time while the kids finished chores and did math.
I walked over to the neighbors with Simon to ask her about a crochet project I am doing for her in exchange for some jewelry for my girls. 
When I got home, my visiting teachers were arriving. 

We had a lovely discussion.  I sure love our new ward.  It is fun to begin to know people on a level beyond small talk.

Then it was time for the Rock Show!  Every year they have a Gem and Mineral exhibit at the fairgrounds.  It is something we've enjoyed for many years. 
The kids all brought their spending money and we had a great time!  Mostly they just got crystal rock candy. (Ew, but oh well)  Simon was enthralled with a large black marble that he payed $.50 for.  Daisy got a small stone-carved horse.  Ruby Got this huge purple thing carved like a diamond.
(I think it might actually be plastic, but I would have loved it when I was a kid, too.  It would have been the perfect item for "cops and robbers".  The robbers need something to steal, after all.  And what better than a giant purple diamond on a silver stand?)

Friends from our old ward called and wanted to play since they were out of school.  We went over and traded kids around.  We ended up leaving 3 and bringing 1, so I think it was a pretty good deal! :)
We got some lunch and took it to the park to eat.  We spent a few minutes in the library and came home.

Dallin and I spent some time wandering around the yard, dreaming and scheming.  It is so hard to know what to do first.  Fence?  Sprinkler system?  Trees? Garden area?  We know we need to use a big chunk of our tax return to update our food storage.  We'll just keep praying to know what to do first and where the money can do us the most good. 

It was nice to be out in the fresh air.  It had a good effect on the sinus headache that is still haunting me today.  We had fresh pineapple and hot dogs for dinner.  I passed on the hot dogs.  Just can't do that with a headache. 

Dallin turned on PBS today.  We RARELY turn the TV on.  It was the Brady Bunch.  It was really fun to introduce my kids to it.  It was funny and made me want to watch more episodes.  Then Daisy and I watched some Little House on the Prairie while I crocheted.  I think I would like that show more if it wasn't such a stretch from the incredible books!  It was right up Daisy's alley, though.  I loved watching it with her and answering her cute questions.  

Then I went to get some free bread from our ward members who own a bread company.  They had lots of outdated bread, and bread is something we really need this month.  I keep thinking I'll be able to make it, but there just isn't time right now.  So I was very thankful to bring home about 20 loaves of delicious nutritious homemade bread and put it in my freezer. 
Even better was a tour of their breadmaking operation and the story behind it and a peek into the life of another great ward member.  It is so fun to hear stories and see how the Lord is working with the people around us. 
I came home feeling such a strong love for this person, and for everybody and their stories.

Daisy has been waiting for several days to check out the movie "Annie" at the library.  She heard the song on one of the kids' dance DVD's.  Ever since, she's been asking me questions. She's particularly disturbed about the part where they say, "Santa Claus we never see.  Santa Claus, what's that? Who's he?"  She can't understand why they wouldn't know about Santa.  I told them that Mrs. Hannigan was too mean to let them have Christmas.  She said, "If I was Santa, I would just sneak in and give them all presents." 
I just love my adorable innocent little Daisy.  

For Ruby's date, we went out to the racquetball court and Dallin made up a new game.  We've tentatively decided to call it "walla-walla-bing-bang".  4 bases like baseball.  You pitch a large rubber ball (the kind they have in the big cages at the grocery store) to a person holding a fat plastic bat.  When they hit the ball, they keep the bat and start running bases.  They have to try to make it home without being hit by the ball. Bases are safe, but they can't stay there for long. They can use the bat to hit the ball away from themselves.  The other 2 people try to hit the person with the ball and get them out.  They have to stand in whatever place they picked up the ball and throw from there.  If you make it back to home plate, you get 5 points.  If you are out, you go to outfield and someone else pitches.  Whoever gets 30 points first, wins. 
It was super fun, and especially great that Ruby won!

I REALLY wanted to watch a movie with Dallin tonight.  I swear, since daylight savings I feel like I'm losing an hour EVERY DAY!  It just seems like it is suddenly 10pm!

The boys played night games with the neighborhood kids.  They are having such a fun time with friends right now.  The spring weather has brought the kids out, and they are often gathered on our lawn and front porch.  I am learning to enjoy it.  I know that is part of the reason we are here in this house.  It is important for my kids to know these people.  We are praying to know the best way to be open and welcoming while still maintaining some boundaries and family time. 
I was all about buying a couple of acres in the forest and staying to ourselves, but Heavenly Father knew this wonderful neighborhood with lots of youth was better for us.  My kids are so happy here. I am so happy here.  I know we can make the friend thing work, too.

Dallin is working on an illustrated book of his poetry with his sister.  She is doing the illustrations.  It is all of the poetry he has written for or about children.  He is so excited about it.  They spend hours almost daily on the phone and internet making changes.  I love it.  He deserves to have a wonderful project like this. 
Who needs movies, anyway?

I don't feel like it was a super noteworthy day, but I felt inspired to write about it because it is the kind of day that paints a picture of our family right now. 
We are so blessed!

Lucky Me

Isn't it funny that we celebrate St. Patrick's Day?  What a great country we live in!
You really do need a holiday at least once a month.

This is the one time each year that I buy Lucky Charms. 
Even though as an adult sugared cereal makes me feel kinda gross, I still ate some for breakfast.
I used to eat all the "browns" first and then savor each marshmallow floating in sweet colored milk.
Now I prefer at least one in each bite, and I have to mix with Cheerios to cut down on the sweetness.
My kids LOVE it, though. 
It makes them feel lucky for a day. 

For the past several years, the home school group has done an ice skating field trip on St. Patrick's Day.  I have always loved it! 
This year, I was not on top of things enough to arrange for a sitter for my 2 little ones.
I am lucky that my 4 older kids were pretty fine without my help.
Even little Daisy, who was SO excited for her first chance to ice skate, was perfectly content to hang onto the wall and wait for a turn for a skate-walker thing.  She even stuck out her arms and did baby steps around the rink for awhile.  She was doing great!  I wish I could have been more attentive to her, but I am very proud that she enjoyed herself so well.
I went ahead and put skates on my toddlers and took them out there.  It was a little crazy of me.  I'm glad Nathan was there to take Sarajoy, and then my friend came and skated with her for a couple of minutes. 
I am glad they got to have the experience, though. 
Simon is SO enthusiastic about things.  I love to see his excitement. 
The 3 of us were only on the rink for a few minutes.  It took us way longer to get our gear on than it did for us to skate.  I don't think my back will ever be the same. 
But it was fun!  We got off the ice and the littles were happy to play around the waiting area while I visited with friends.  It wouldn't have been so pleasant if I hadn't let them try out the ice. 
They were fascinated at the end when the big ice truck came out and resurfaced the rink.

Part of the reason I was so brain-dead about the babysitting thing was that I had a singing appointment in town just an hour and a half after the skating was supposed to be over. 
I'm lucky I have a nice friend who agreed last minute to watch my kids while I sang so I didn't have to take the kids all the way home.  It probably would have made me late for my appointment. 

I'm lucky that I have another nice friend who let me borrow a skirt and sunday shoes to put on for my singing gig since I accidentally left mine in a bag at home. 

I'm lucky that I can sing 6 relatively difficult songs with absolutely no practice or warm-up.  There just wasn't time this week.  It was so wonderful!  It has been a couple of years since I've been able to do a program like that.

I'm lucky that the ladies' club that I sang for bought me lunch.  Chicken Cordon Bleu with fresh scones, mashed potatoes, and yummy cooked carrots. 
It was very fun to sit and listen to these beautiful women chatting about families, discussing politics and television shows, and most surprising--sports!  Yes, they could have kept up with my husband in a discussion on BYU and JAZZ basketball.  One of them prefers to watch baseball, though. 
These cute 80-somethings have been getting together once a month for over 60 years!  Isn't that wonderful!
I'm lucky they asked me to sing. 

I'm lucky that when we all got home, my baby slept and my other kids played happily with neighborhood friends so I could sleep off the monster headache that hit me as I was leaving the restaurant.

I'm lucky that Dallin got fed at work since it was SEP conferences. 
So we had Lucky Charms and Clover chips for dinner, too!
And he was nice enough to bring home a plate of his dinner for me. 

I didn't even have to catch a leprechaun!

A Pox on Daylight Savings

Really, when was this ever a good idea?  I am so puzzled by the concept.

Kids still doing the "I need a drink" bedtime mischief at 10pm is just not my thing.

On a happier note,
Nathan couldn't find his recommend for the temple this morning.  I was VERY frustrated, and I didn't want to go to the temple frustrated!  I also didn't want to go without Nathan.  I gradually softened my heart enough to be open to the inspiration I had been praying for.  I remembered that I had forgotten mine once, and they just let me call the bishop.  I decided to bring Nathan along and hope for the best.  On our way, he called and the bishop's wife said he was at the temple.  When we got there, we saw that his car was still there so I had Nathan wait in the foyer for him.  The temple officiators said they preferred an actual recommend over the bishop's word, so they gave them a room and Nathan had a recommend interview right there in the temple.  I finished initiatories early enough to go down and watch the kids finish their baptisms.  I LOVE doing this with the youth!

One of the women in initiatories asked me if I was a missionary!  Now that I am thirty-something looking young isn't so bad!  ( It was a different story when I was in college.  I worked at a daycare center. We took the kids swimming at the college rec center every Friday.  I was told by a lifeguard that I needed to have an adult with me if I wanted to swim in the deep end.)  But now, it is kinda nice to look young.  :)

I can't feel too smug, though.  On our way out, a woman asked me if all of those kids were mine!
I had to think for a minute if it was even possible for a person to have 7 teens. 
I guess possible, but as far as ages go... I think I was 15 when the oldest was born. 
I had an 18-year-old, two 16-year-olds, a 15-year-old, a 13-year-old, and 2 12-year-olds. 
Fun stuff!

I got to spend some quality time with Sarajoy today.  Little toddlers are so fun!  She is starting to say a few more words.  She is very proud of saying milk: "mmmuup".  She can sometimes say Da-da, Na-nay (Nathan and Brandon), Wee-bu (Ruby) and Deetsy (Daisy).  Baby is another one she'll get right sometimes.  Banana is a new one, and today she said Woody when I told her something was next to Simon's Woody toy.  "Woobie"  is how she said it.  She was very excited to try out jumping and galloping today.  We galloped and galloped around the kitchen island.  I also got to sit and play with colored frog counters.  She learned how to string them on a lace, and was very proud of her creation!  She is very good at communicating with me through looks and gestures.  I almost always know just what she is getting at, so it is kinda fun.

Feast Day

Homemade granola.  It has been years, but I made it again this month. 
I was disappointed last Sunday that I couldn't have it for breakfast because it was Fast Sunday. 
By the time I got up today, the bucket was nearly empty.
Just enough for one more tasty bowl for me.

Sarajoy's turn to feast.
I've begun to insist that she wait until the sacrament has been administered before I'll take her out to nurse.
She's starting to understand.
The sound system was out, so the Mother's room was quiet.
We rocked and nursed and--is she sleeping?
Yes! She hasn't done this since she was a newborn.  She nursed and nursed and nursed to sleep.
She had that wonderful peaceful look on her face. 
The one where the bottom lip is slightly drawn out because she fell asleep in the act of suckling. 
And the eyelashes are resting on rosy cheeks.
Even if she does keep me up nights, and she's getting too old for such things,
I'm glad she's still my baby.

Sunday school. 
I'm so thankful for the masterful teachers we have in this ward. 
Class members create their own parables through comment.
I sit by my husband and drink it all in.

Relief Society.
The Word of Wisdom.  I was prepared.  I had studied the lesson, talked it over with Dallin, thought of some things I could do better.
"Cease to find fault one with another." 
Where did that come from?  How did I miss it?
But a perfectly placed reminder.  This law of health is interpreted so individually. 
In your enthusiasm to keep commandments, don't let charity fall by the wayside.
Pride Goeth, remember?
I remember, and I am thankful for the reminder.

Tiny Daffodils.
The smallest I've ever seen. 
The earliest I've ever seen.
The only offering I could think of to let my neighbor know I care.
I noticed her tears today in church.
On Missionary Mom Sunday, she grieves for her boy--his friends are all out now,
but he chose a different path.
The wedding is this month.
How glad I am that I listened, and snipped sunshine, and carried it across the street!
It brightens and nourishes in both directions.

Taco Sunday.
Every 2nd Sunday.  Everyone is invited to the M's house for tacos. 
We  soaked in rays of warmth as we walked there to be fed.
Delicious food, wonderful company.

Choir Practice.
Songs of praise sung in nutrient-rich harmonies.

Youth Fireside.
They all sat and listened and commented.  Sometimes it got noisy and they spoke out of turn. 
But I got the feeling that most of them genuinely want to be good. 
I'm mostly afraid of teenagers. 
Tonight I realized they're still just kids. 
And they still need adults.
And they will listen and learn in the right setting.
And we can all use a reminder about the role of media in our lives.
And the caramel apple vs. caramel onion object lesson was a treat!

Late Dinner.
Warm soup ready in the crock-pot.
Table set by kids waiting at home.
White beans, onions, carrots, barley
Swimming in ham bone broth, a special gift from my mom.
(Weeks ago, I talked her out of going to the trouble of boiling the ham bone.  She had just finished putting on a huge family dinner.  Then it was my job to discard the meaty bone.  I couldn't do it.  I decided to take it home.  She found out it was in my car and boiled it for me.  I forgot to take it home.  She strained the broth and picked the bone and froze it all and brought it to me this week.  I wanted to save her the trouble, so instead she went to the trouble for ME.  That's how my mom is.)
It was a winning combination. 
We could all taste the love in there.
As I started washing dishes, my bean-hater 12 year old said, "Mom, that was delicous. Thanks."
And he rinsed his bowl and added it to the pile. 

Dishes done, kitchen clean, kids in bed.
A sweet hour of prayer and study and meditation.
I wrote and searched and learned and planned.
A delicacy on any day, but a rare treat on a busy Sunday.

I am filled and still my cup runneth over.

.

Day at the Park

67 degrees
Sunshine
Toddlers playing in the dirt
First day at the park with friends

I won't even mind the housefly I found in my bathroom today. 
It is a sign that more days like today are on their way!

I love living in a place that has all 4 seasons. 
I don't think the spring would mean nearly so much if it didn't follow winter!

Love This Kid

Already my second son has entered the year of preparing for the priesthood.  Wow.

Brandon is an incredible person.
He is friendly and easy to get along with.  He will play with anyone, girls, boys, all ages.
He has a lot of faith.  He has already learned to take his problems to the Lord. 
He owns his mistakes, and is not afraid to talk to us about questionable situations.
He is wonderfully cheerful, funny, creative and artistic.
He cares more about people than things.  This was true for him even as a toddler.  He was always willing to give up his toy to Nathan in order to keep peace or keep the game going. 
He is a hard worker, and enjoys doing physical labor.  He likes to get up and get his chores done first thing.
He has handsome blue eyes and a charming smile.

Today he turned 11.
We started the celebration yesterday since Dallin had the day off.
We had bagels and mangoes for breakfast. (His 2 favorite foods)
He got to work on finishing some Webelos projects with Dallin.
We all went to the mall and ate at Subway in the food court.  We did some window shopping and stopped at the treehouse playland for the little kids to enjoy. 
We've been on the lookout for some youth sized ties for awhile, so we stepped into the tie store.  They had a whole wall of youth-sized ties.  Guess which one he picked?
Solid lime green satin. 
Another thing I like about him is that he likes what he likes and he doesn't need others to agree with it.  He likes things that are different, interesting, unusual.  He loves trying new things.
We spent some time in the Thomas Kinkade gallery.
We stopped at the Krispy Kreme donut factory on our way home to redeem some Valentines we got from a cousin. 
I love factories.  I could sit and watch that machine make donuts for hours. 
It was my first sugary treat in weeks, and it was too sweet! Do you think they'd let me try one without glaze next time? 
Then we stopped at WalMart because he really wanted a new scooter for his present and the ones at the mall were the wrong color (red and blue).  He said he wanted Black or Green.  I was disappointed when the only ones they had a t Walmart were hot pink. 
He was thrilled.  "NOBODY I know has this color!"
So today I bought my son a lime green tie and a hot pink scooter. 
He also got a bag of beef jerkey and Ruby bought him a bag of Doritos. 
He went to Nathan's tournament game with Nathan and Dallin. 

Today he got to go to school on his birthday, which was very fun.
We had burritos for dinner which he ate on the red plate.
For dessert: Fruit pizza on a home made graham cracker crust.  Yum!

Happy Birthday, Brandon!


Besides my awesome kid, I am thankful today for some other things.
I'm thankful that I didn't feel as awful as I thought I would when I woke up.  Getting the kids off to school wasn't so bad.  (Yes, I'm on round 2.  I hope that means the plague is almost over.)
When I got home, I was able to study for awhile while my 2 little ones played nicely together. 
Simon played quietly while Sarajoy napped and I actually got some sleep.
My visiting teacher came and got them for me after that, so I had a couple of hours uninterupted.
Dallin was able to get off work early and bring the kids home.
He and the kids made dinner.
He and the kids did the dishes. 
Thank You.

Winter's on the Wing

 

Friday was definitely a Lamby day.  These beauties greeted me just outside my front door.

And while I was doing dishes, I noticed a reflection in the window in front of me.

I turned around to get a glimpse of the real thing, and I was not disappointed.

Look how eager those swollen buds are to curl open into maple leaves!

Hooray for Spring!

And thank you to the wonderful person who planted spring bulbs in my front garden!  What a lovely surprise!

Tender Loving Care

Just as I was finishing the dishes today, I heard Sarajoy being upset on the monitor.  I realized that Daddy had put her to bed without me nursing her. 
I went upstairs and cuddled her in my bed, hoping she'd nurse for a good long while and sleep well tonight. 
Moments later, we heard commotion in the hall. 
The 3 oldest kids up to "shenanigans" as we call them. 
That's the kind of crazy roughhousing that always ends with someone getting hurt. I don't normally put up with it at all, but I was nursing and Dallin was reading stories to get Simon to bed so nobody stopped it. 
Sure enough, it wasn't long before Ruby was screaming and crying and the boys were blaming each other. 
Sarajoy was so disturbed that she refused to nurse.  She kept pointing out my bedroom door to where the crying was coming from and putting out her bottom lip.  I really just wanted her to nurse and go to bed, but she was too concerned. 
I called Ruby into my room and told her I was sorry she got hurt.  I asked her to climb into bed beside Sarajoy and get some loves. 
Ruby cuddled up to Sarajoy and got a hug. 
Then my sweet baby balled up her hand and put it against Ruby's face. 
At first I thought she was trying to do "knuckles".
But then she put that chubby fist up near Ruby's eye and swiped down. 
Ruby moved a little and Sarajoy did it to the other eye. 
My heart melted into sunshine when I realized what she was doing.

She was wiping away her sister's tears. 

I don't know how she learned to do that.  But it was so precious, I almost wished I was the one crying just so I could have the privilege of having my tears wiped away in such a fashion.
.

Pride Goeth

Heavenly Father is showing me things.
Things about myself.

It is good.

Sometimes it is hard and it hurts, but it is good.

One of the things that I am seeing about myself is that I have always loved to be RIGHT.
I'm willing to work hard and sacrifice and study and find the RIGHT answer or the RIGHT way-- how to give birth, parent, home school, eat, etc.
But so many of my RIGHT discoveries have ended up being shattered by physical limitations, disillusionment with the person who introduced me to the idea, not getting the results I expected, someone else doing it better than me, or someone I love choosing to do it a totally different way and having wonderful results.

I am learning that there is a difference between being right and being righteous.

One is fueled by pride.
The other is fueled by love.

I have been slowly learning this for years, but I still have setbacks.
One temptation for me is to jump into an email discussion to get my opinion out there.
Then I live in turmoil while I wait for the response.  I soar with pleasure at every assenting response that puffs up my ego.  I crash into the "depths of dispair" with every disagreement.  It is no way to exist, and it makes me a fearful, cranky mother.
It is embarassing to admit this, but it is true.  I care way too much about what people think of me and my opinions.  
I have gotten better.  So much better, but I still fumble and falter quite a lot. 
I fumbled this week.
It was silly, and I regretted it the moment I hit send.
The regret brought up other prideful things I've done lately, and I got pretty down on myself.
It was just as we were leaving for the temple on Wednesday.
The tears would leak out under my sunglasses, even though I tried to keep them in.
"Are you okay, mom?"
"Yeah, I'm just feeling bad about something I did wrong."

So I tried the gratitude dare.  I  wanted it to work, but I was feeling really, really low. 
I thought of a few things I was thankful for as I picked up the young men on my route.
They were things I was  truly thankful for, but I couldn't feel it in my heart.

As I pulled onto the freeway, I pulled in behind a large flatbed semi.  It was carrying a big load of poles.  I could only see the ends of the poles.  Shapes.  There were circles of varying sizes, bound together in interesting patterns.  There were squares and rectangles as well.  There was something about the way all of those shapes looked that was so elementary, so pleasing.  I wanted to take a picture of it.
I thanked my Father for shapes.
I felt a little better.

Then we got into town and I was still watching for anything that might awaken real gratitude in my soul.
"From Cumorah's Hill" was playing in the CD player.  It is one of my favorite works.
We turned onto temple drive, and the rocky ridges of squaw peak were before me.
The sun had not yet risen, but rays of it were sneaking through the canyon and lighting up the jagged ridges.
I couldn't see the sun, but I could see the effects of it right there on the mountain behind the temple.
"The sun is coming," I thought.  "That is pleasant."
Then, my soul stirred as I heard the words, "Who will wait for the Savior" come through the speakers in my van.
"The Son is coming."  I thought
Joy.
He is coming!

"Who will rise to meet Him?
Who delights to greet Him?
Who will join with the stars of the morning dancing for joy?
Who will shout Hallelujah on their knees before Him?"

It was moving enough to shift my sorrow into hope.

And the quiet white reverence in His House.
And the whisper of magnificent blessings.
And the angel-faces and soft, age wrinkled hands of the temple workers.

Shifted that hope into love.

Oh, I hope that I can learn for all of my actions to speak not pride, but love.