(January 2017 This post has been tucked away in draft mode and tucked away in my heart. My blog has been on hold because I didn't know how or if to share. Because this experience colored the rest of my year I felt stuck anytime I thought of writing. But this year needs to be written, so here goes.)
Written April 14, 2016
Nathan turned in his mission papers on Sunday. It was exciting to see him glow with excitement all day. He has worked really really hard the last year to overcome some weaknesses in order to preapare for his mission. I could tell that though excited, he was a little sobered by the reality of it as well. He was excited to tell Grandpa Millington that night that the papers were in! Dallin's family rejoiced with us as we anticipated the call that should come within the next two weeks.
When we got home, I was burdened with an incredible heaviness. I knew that part of it was jumping back into life after Spring Break, but I could tell it was more than that. I often feel excited to get back into the schedule after a break, but I was feeling so much fear and dread about going back to my life of trying to plan things out and improve, only to have interruption after interruption. I was nervous about the struggles with Brandon and school. I was feeling badly about my own weaknesses and unmet expectations. I did NOT want to get back on the mountain and climb. I spoke to Dallin about my feelings a little, but it was late. I asked for a blessing, but he felt he needed some time so I said it was okay to wait till tomorrow. I already felt a little better just for talking about it. I was getting some ideas about waking up early and helping Brandon get a good start. We prayed, and I specifically prayed for Nathan, knowing that he was likely to have some opposition from the adversary for his decision to serve a mission. I prayed that our ancestors would come and help us and protect him.
When I awoke the next morning, Nathan was at school and Brandon was at seminary. I had gotten up early and read scriptures but gone back to bed. I was geared up to get a schedule written out with some assignments for Brandon. I called a friend to ask what she had done for her older kids, but she didn't answer. I checked my phone for messages. My world fell apart.
In checking my messages, I discovered a mistake that Nathan had made that could jeapordize everything he had worked for. And I knew for sure his mission was at best on hold. For a horrible couple of hours I tried to get ahold of Nathan, tried to get ahold of Dallin, talked to the younger kids and we prayed together. I met Dallin at work to talk for awhile and make some plans. I finally got to talk to Nathan. Many of my worst fears were unfounded, but it was still a devastating mistake.
The rest of the day was spent counseling Nathan, crying, praying, wondering how I could take care of my family with such a heavy burden on my heart. I remember the Spirit giving me specific instructions to just keep moving. "Write that check....Get an envelope....Put the stamp on...." Of course because I have little ones there were moments of smiles and joy, but the weight was ever before me, with so many unknowns.
I took the kids to violin group lessons and tried to pretend I was okay. A meeting with the Bishop--not good news, scary news, even. Dinner. Keep going. Family Home Evening. We can Sing. Brandon came through with an impromptu lesson. Get milk and a treat at the grocery store. Put kids to bed. Keep going. I was so tired, so so tired. Sleep? Please come, sleep. Give me a break from this weight, this sadness, this disappointment, this hurting to see my child hurt, this wondering what will happen, this wishing, wishing it hadn't happened. If only I had....Don't go there. A noise in the hall--is it him? Is he okay? A sleepwalking child rushes into my room thinking its the bathroom. A tender-hearted daughter can't sleep for worry. I grab my pillows and lie by her in her bed. For a few minutes I drift off, grateful for some respite. But it is still there when I wake up. Not a dream. Real. I went back to my own bed. Sleep, please come. Thoughts swirl and haunt and I try to sleep, to pray, to escape. I try praise. At least it distracts me from the incessant thinking. Praise to the Lord, the Almighty the King of Creation...I sing in my mind. Praise God from whom all Blessings Flow...Why couldn't I remember the words to any other hymns? Concentrate, focus away from the pain, away from the thoughts. After over an hour, Dallin got up to use the restroom. I asked him to check on Nathan. And finally I slept for 3 hours.
When I awoke at 6, I knew I needed to go to the temple. I was really tempted to just go back to sleep. I was SO tired and sad. But I didn't want to ignore a prompting from the Spirit. A friend had asked Ruby to babysit so she could go to the temple. I felt I needed to ask to go with her. I thought maybe I would be helping her with her own difficulties, getting myself out of the self-pity bubble. Thoughts flooded in, trying to convince me that it wouldn't work. Who would watch the baby? Brandon needed to do school work and the girls would both be gone. A name came to my mind. She was willing to rearrange her morning to come help with the kids. Lovely, wonderful person! On the way to the temple I asked about my friend and she assured me she was doing very well and was excited to go to the temple with her dad, who was following us in his car. I shared some of my burdens, and she shared that she had told Nathan's sunday school class the story of Peter on Sunday. Of Peter facing the Savior and saying he would serve him and die for him. But the Savior knew him and knew he would deny him 3 times. And Peter denied him, and was devastated, but he carried on, becoming the leader of the apostles. I was stunned. How perfect that she had shared that with my son on the very day he would have a similar experience.
I sat in the temple with Emily's temple name card in my hand, and my friend with another ancestor of mine, Lottie. I prayed for them to be there today. To be with me. It became apparent how much I needed my friend with me. Throughout the session as the tears began to flow, she put her arms around me and I was not alone. By the end of the 2 hour session, I was very tired. It was hard to stay awake, and we were at the back of the line to go through the veil. As I finally approached the veil, a small weakness of mine came to mind. Then I was flooded with my weakness, my smallness, my insignificance, my inability to be successful in so many ways. I went to the veil feeling utterly humble. I sobbed through the veil ceremony and stepped into the celestial room. I sat and sobbed, continuing to let the emotion flow out. I thought of my insignificance in the universe. I looked around the room of the beautiful brand new City Center temple Celestial room. It was full of loveliness. I was there. I looked back at the veil. "That was all?" I wondered. That was all I had to do, and I was in this lovely place. Me, insignificant me, with all of my faults and weaknesses. I had "humbled myself before the Lord". How often do the scriptures ask us to do that? I had never paid attention to that phrase before. I looked across the room. Directly in front of me were 2 empty chairs. Emily and Lottie.
It was time to go. I walked into the sunshine and blossomy fragrance of a perfect April day. My friend asked me to drive her car home so she could go out to lunch with her dad. I drove home alone, feeling a little less concerned about my troubles, mostly anxious to be with my baby and little children whom I had been away from much longer than I expected. I was not quite conscious of what had just happened.
When I got home, all was at peace. A neighbor was helping Simon with his reading. The kids had had lunch and it was cleaned up. Brandon was working on school. The baby was asleep. The other children were playing nicely together. I sat at my table to eat lunch and it hit me.
I was free.
My burden was gone. Completely gone.
I knew all would be well. Knew it.
I felt clean and pure, unspeakably clean, inside and out. It was sweetness, it was joy, it was freedom. I have known of, worshipped, loved, and tried to trust Jesus all of my life. I have been comforted by his love and peace, I have been directed by his Holy Spirit, I have had many witnesses of the reality of his life and mission and love for me. But I realized I have never felt the atonement. Not like this. It is truly the sweetest thing I have ever felt. I can not describe it, but I can say that as wonderful as it was to be at the ocean in a vacation home, I wouldn't have traded this feeling even for that.
Like Enos, I have to exclaim, "Lord, how is it done?" How could I have gone from being beside myself with sadness, to utter humility, to this complete joy?
"Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows....and with His stripes we are healed."
...
We've Given Up the Easy Life for the Good Life
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Beach Bliss
The conversation went something like this: "Dallin, I really want Spring Break to feel renewing and like a break for you. What are you imagining?"
"Well, I imagine being able to do things I don't usually do or things I don't have enough time for."
(By this time the beach topic had come up a couple of times, but neither of us had thought seriously of it.)
"What kinds of things?", I asked
"I don't have as much time as I like to exercise or study the scriptures or work in the yard..."
He listed several other things and then said, "and I never go to the beach..."
A few minutes later he was looking at his ipad at vacation rentals while I finished folding laundry. Really? Really?
We spent awhile looking, talking, planning. When I woke up in the morning, I was pretty excited. "How serious are you about this beach thing? I'm okay if you just want to stay home, but I need to know if it is time to take the next step and actually book something."
"I'm serious", he said.
I started looking seriously and sending inquiries about a few different properties. I forced myself to stop and enjoy General Conference, picking up the search again after the session was over. By the time the 2nd session was over, we felt like it was okay to make it official and tell the kids. I grabbed the baby and the big girls and we headed to the store to hopefully find swimsuits and supplies. A few hours later we got home and started packing. It felt like a mad rush getting everything together. I didn't want to take away from our enjoyment of conference on Sunday so we were trying to do as much as we could Saturday night.
We finally got a confirmation on our booking Sunday morning and knew it was for sure. We contacted Dallin's brother in Vegas to see if we could work out a way to see him and his family. We knew we would be getting there late and they have a small house. We let him know we had other places we could stay if he thought it would be too much to host our crowd. On the contrary, he seemed excited and offered to make us a nice breakfast.
The trip to Vegas was long, but everyone did pretty well. We tried to be really quiet when we got there after 10pm, thinking their 2 kids would be asleep. What a delightful surprise when 5 year old Max came out, "I heard you have 8 children!" He was so cute! It has been so long since we've seen them that I've never heard him talk. He talked to us for quite awhile. Dallin and I stayed up visiting with Kurtis and Amy until 2:45am, 3:45 our time! But it was worth it! It was so wonderful to catch up and know how things are going for them. And breakfast was amazing! Baked blueberry French toast and crockpot breakfast casserole!
That morning I got a call from the rental manager. She told me there was a problem with our rental so she would have to upgrade us to a nicer condo with 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, and a Jacuzzi! We were a little disappointed that it didn't have beach right in front of it like our other one did, but it was actually closer to the water and really nice. And we really, really enjoyed the Jacuzzi!
It took us FOR EVER (8 hours instead of 5) to get to Oceanside, but the trip was nice. We had the big boys just behind us helping with the baby and we had some nice conversations. When we got there, the sun was just setting. The kids all stood on the rocks and saw the ocean. It was amazing! I had forgotten how much the ocean speaks to my soul. We quickly unpacked and ate and I kept the windows open as long as possible to hear the waves crashing against the rocks.
The next morning Dallin and I walked to the pier and scouted out a good place to play on the beach. We walked down there and had a really fun time. We went later to the store and bought some body boards so we could try riding the surf. The rest of the time was a lovely mixture of playing in the sand, riding the waves, sitting in the hot tub, and watching fun shows. (Mostly White Collar and Good Mythical Morning). I planned a really simple menu with lots of snacks, so eating was not a big deal. Kurtis convinced us that we needed to eat fish at least once, so Dallin bought some stuff and grilled fish-kebobs, and it was amazingly delicious. I even liked the shrimp!
Thursday was my birthday, and it was raining. We didn't go to the beach at all that day. We went to the temple in San Diego. I was really glad I went, even if I just sat in the waiting room while Dallin went in with the kids. But Sullivan was kind of a nightmare. I had to take him out like 5 times, and finally just went out to the car. I was a little irritated as we got some pictures and loaded back up, but quickly simmered down. Navigating through the freeway system was pretty tricky there, and we took more than one wrong turn. We got some In N out burgers on the way home, which was a nice surprise for my birthday. The next day we were determined to spend as much time in the water as possible! We waited for low tide when the beach near us would be more fun and rode wave after wave. The kids went out with Dallin first while I played in the sand with the littlest boys. The big boys took them back to the condo while Dallin, Ruby, and I stayed until I was completely beat up and their toes were numb. It was completely delightful! I felt somewhat drunk with exhaustion and exhilaration.
Besides being so much fun, the ocean helped me feel such a connection to God's power and majesty, His beauty and constancy, and the idea that though constant, He is not predictable. It was a precious, precious tender mercy for us to be there after an extremely trying year.
I thought a lot about the simplicity of staying in a furnished Condo. We brought very few possessions, and it was nice to have the freedom to enjoy my family more. It made me want to come home and see if I can't simplify my home a little more and make it feel like there is more room for relationships.
We were all sad to leave the ocean. We found the right way to spend our tax return money, though I know it was actually an investment.
"Well, I imagine being able to do things I don't usually do or things I don't have enough time for."
(By this time the beach topic had come up a couple of times, but neither of us had thought seriously of it.)
"What kinds of things?", I asked
"I don't have as much time as I like to exercise or study the scriptures or work in the yard..."
He listed several other things and then said, "and I never go to the beach..."
A few minutes later he was looking at his ipad at vacation rentals while I finished folding laundry. Really? Really?
We spent awhile looking, talking, planning. When I woke up in the morning, I was pretty excited. "How serious are you about this beach thing? I'm okay if you just want to stay home, but I need to know if it is time to take the next step and actually book something."
"I'm serious", he said.
I started looking seriously and sending inquiries about a few different properties. I forced myself to stop and enjoy General Conference, picking up the search again after the session was over. By the time the 2nd session was over, we felt like it was okay to make it official and tell the kids. I grabbed the baby and the big girls and we headed to the store to hopefully find swimsuits and supplies. A few hours later we got home and started packing. It felt like a mad rush getting everything together. I didn't want to take away from our enjoyment of conference on Sunday so we were trying to do as much as we could Saturday night.
We finally got a confirmation on our booking Sunday morning and knew it was for sure. We contacted Dallin's brother in Vegas to see if we could work out a way to see him and his family. We knew we would be getting there late and they have a small house. We let him know we had other places we could stay if he thought it would be too much to host our crowd. On the contrary, he seemed excited and offered to make us a nice breakfast.
The trip to Vegas was long, but everyone did pretty well. We tried to be really quiet when we got there after 10pm, thinking their 2 kids would be asleep. What a delightful surprise when 5 year old Max came out, "I heard you have 8 children!" He was so cute! It has been so long since we've seen them that I've never heard him talk. He talked to us for quite awhile. Dallin and I stayed up visiting with Kurtis and Amy until 2:45am, 3:45 our time! But it was worth it! It was so wonderful to catch up and know how things are going for them. And breakfast was amazing! Baked blueberry French toast and crockpot breakfast casserole!
That morning I got a call from the rental manager. She told me there was a problem with our rental so she would have to upgrade us to a nicer condo with 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, and a Jacuzzi! We were a little disappointed that it didn't have beach right in front of it like our other one did, but it was actually closer to the water and really nice. And we really, really enjoyed the Jacuzzi!
It took us FOR EVER (8 hours instead of 5) to get to Oceanside, but the trip was nice. We had the big boys just behind us helping with the baby and we had some nice conversations. When we got there, the sun was just setting. The kids all stood on the rocks and saw the ocean. It was amazing! I had forgotten how much the ocean speaks to my soul. We quickly unpacked and ate and I kept the windows open as long as possible to hear the waves crashing against the rocks.
The next morning Dallin and I walked to the pier and scouted out a good place to play on the beach. We walked down there and had a really fun time. We went later to the store and bought some body boards so we could try riding the surf. The rest of the time was a lovely mixture of playing in the sand, riding the waves, sitting in the hot tub, and watching fun shows. (Mostly White Collar and Good Mythical Morning). I planned a really simple menu with lots of snacks, so eating was not a big deal. Kurtis convinced us that we needed to eat fish at least once, so Dallin bought some stuff and grilled fish-kebobs, and it was amazingly delicious. I even liked the shrimp!
Thursday was my birthday, and it was raining. We didn't go to the beach at all that day. We went to the temple in San Diego. I was really glad I went, even if I just sat in the waiting room while Dallin went in with the kids. But Sullivan was kind of a nightmare. I had to take him out like 5 times, and finally just went out to the car. I was a little irritated as we got some pictures and loaded back up, but quickly simmered down. Navigating through the freeway system was pretty tricky there, and we took more than one wrong turn. We got some In N out burgers on the way home, which was a nice surprise for my birthday. The next day we were determined to spend as much time in the water as possible! We waited for low tide when the beach near us would be more fun and rode wave after wave. The kids went out with Dallin first while I played in the sand with the littlest boys. The big boys took them back to the condo while Dallin, Ruby, and I stayed until I was completely beat up and their toes were numb. It was completely delightful! I felt somewhat drunk with exhaustion and exhilaration.
Besides being so much fun, the ocean helped me feel such a connection to God's power and majesty, His beauty and constancy, and the idea that though constant, He is not predictable. It was a precious, precious tender mercy for us to be there after an extremely trying year.
I thought a lot about the simplicity of staying in a furnished Condo. We brought very few possessions, and it was nice to have the freedom to enjoy my family more. It made me want to come home and see if I can't simplify my home a little more and make it feel like there is more room for relationships.
We were all sad to leave the ocean. We found the right way to spend our tax return money, though I know it was actually an investment.
Monday, April 4, 2016
March Madness
Things just never settled down into routine this month. It doesn't help that we have 3 birthdays and this year Easter also, but it was even crazy beyond that.
This has been a hard homeschool year for Brandon and me. It has weighed heavily on my heart to see him unsatisfied. We have tried lots of different things, but I couldn't seem to ever make a difference. It was easy for me to feel down on myself and doubt my abilities as a homeschooler. After yet another week of discouragement, things seemed to be coming to a head. One Friday I learned that Brandon was fasting. While Dallin and I were on our date, we discussed the issues, and both ended the conversation feeling more frustrated and discouraged than when we started. Later that evening, I was nursing the baby and thinking about homeschooling. I was thinking about mentors and thinking about all of the interviews I have had with Brandon. One thing he said was that on of the only things he really looked forward to studying was the scriptures. I decided maybe we needed to follow that a little and started thinking of who would be a good mentor. My dad popped into my mind and I realized that he would be needing help this time of year for tree trimming. My dad is also a family history expert, and that is something Brandon said he has been feeling inspired to learn more about. I called my mom and found out they would be coming through on their way home from Arizona in just a couple of days. When I talked to Brandon it seemed like a great idea for him, so we prepared to have him spend a couple of weeks in Idaho. That was a relief and answer to prayers.
The morning of his birthday, I drove him to get his drivers license. His friends attend a charter school next to the DMV so I dropped him off there to spend the day with them. We invited a bunch of Brandon's friends over for a "surprise" party, but he surprised the friends by getting home early! That evening, we opened presents and had some treats when my parents got into town. I think it was a fun day for him. The next day we ate out with my parents and they headed home with Brandon.
I started to feel a sore throat that night, but it seemed minor, and only on one side so I thought it was just stress. It still hurt the next day and seemed to be getting worse, but didn't seem like strep. Finally, on the 3rd morning, I knew it was strep and got some antibiotics. But by then it had a pretty strong hold on me. I ended up being down with that sickness for about a week. Not a good thing for a homeschool mama. Things got pretty dark and difficult when on top of that Corban was not sleeping well. I was completely physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. Thankfully I had several people come help and bring dinner. Our Home Teacher's wife came and took the girls shopping on Sullivan's birthday. She also came in and cleaned the kitchen and stayed with the kids for awhile while I rested. Another neighbor came and got my laundry and brought it back folded that evening. I felt so cared for and blessed!
I got better just in time to sing at a musical production created by some women in our stake called "You Are Enough". It was beautiful, and such a message that women need to hear in these days when Satan tries so hard to drag women down with lies about their efforts and their worth. I was really grateful to be a part of that.
We were blessed to have our friends the Wells from Las Vegas come stay a night with us. It is always so much fun to catch up with such a good friend. We stayed up really late talking, but it was worth it! She also homeschools a large family so we always have a lot to talk about.
The Provo City Center Temple dedication was on Dallin's birthday. He was pretty excited about that because it meant no bishopric meetings and because he was born in Provo and has enjoyed watching the progress of the temple there.
We squeezed one more good day of school in the following week and attended our group violin lesson before we packed up to go pick up Brandon in Idaho. Cousins up there were on Spring Break, so we packed up our violins and went to Grandma's. It was a nice break from the whirlwind that had been going on here.
Something we had been preparing most for was a birthday party for Aunt Melissa. She has the perfect personality to bond and unify the older cousins in the family. She recently got excited about unicorns, so we planned a unicorn party for her. My kids saved their money to buy her some unicorn stuff, and I emailed all the cousins and asked them to draw a unicorn picture to make a book for her. It was great fun, and I think she loved the gifts! Nathan also made her a One Direction T-shirt with her face photoshopped in. It was really great!
We helped Grandma get the graduation quilts going for the 4 kids who are graduating this year. That felt good to help her out a little after all she does for us. It is always such a treat to be with my parents. Literally, too, because they took us to some great restaurants while we were there, too.
After a few days with Grandma, we headed up to Shelley to be with Millington cousins for a baptism. Dallin and Nathan met us there Friday night. We had a wonderful visit. I always feel so grateful to Karami and Kevin for their example and friendship. She gave me some great things to think about for homeschooling and it is so nice to lift one another and help each other along the path of discipleship. The baptism was great, and it was fun to catch up with Kevin's siblings that we haven't seen for awhile. We heard a great story about a candy snitch accidentally eating a real robin egg when he tried to steal his brother's candy.
I came back really excited to have a great homeschooling week and get back into life. Monday was pretty good. We got a lot done and enjoyed learning together. Tuesday got completely hijacked. It started with Daisy waking up feeling miserable with a sinus infection. She is prone to sinus troubles, but I could tell it was different this time. It was affecting her vision. I helped some less than enthusiastic littles with violin before heading to the doctor. We got her some antibiotics and made it home just in time for Simon's boys class. I thought I was in charge of the lesson and we were just going to have to make it a play day, but the other mom was all ready to go. They finished up a really big requirement for scouts and we headed out to watch them enjoy their creations. I was so excited to sit in the porch swing and just visit for a few minutes and catch my breath. I looked over and noticed our cat was in the crate. That seemed unusual so I peeked in at her and saw a gaping hole on her side. Then we were off to the vet. I think some other things happened that day, but it ended and I tried to redeem the rest of the week. Things did not seem to be much improved with Brandon, but I didn't even have a chance to talk to him about it because I was constantly putting out fires.
We had marshmallow catapult wars for our family activity on Thursday as a part of our medieval studies. It was way more fun than I even imagined. We stacked up cups on either side of the racquetball court and tried to knock the other team's "castle" down first.
I was kinda sad we had to end early and eat a quick dinner before I went to perform in another "You Are Enough" program. Dallin got to come with me this time, and it gave us a lot to think about and talk about. Each program starts with a mental health professional giving a short talk. Throughout the program, women from the ward or stake share personal experiences where life didn't work out the way they hoped and what they learned from the experience. It was really powerful.
We had a few people come give us bids for replacing windows in our house because we had some leftover tax return money. We ended up only having about half of what we needed. We considered getting half the windows replaced, but then reconsidered when I got sick. We started wondering if it was time for me to try surgery to fix some of my nasal/sinus issues. I wasn't feeling great about that idea, but knew we should probably decide what to do with the money so it wouldn't just get spent on dumb stuff. The kids had started asking about our own Spring Break. Dallin would be home for the week, and we were thinking we would just stay home and get some projects done and relax. I had this little crazy idea that I wanted to take the kids to the ocean before Nathan leaves home. A couple of my kids had mentioned never seeing or not remembering being at the ocean. It seemed like too big of an idea on too short notice, but somehow after our date on Friday night we found ourselves looking at vacation rentals in California. But that's a story for April.
This has been a hard homeschool year for Brandon and me. It has weighed heavily on my heart to see him unsatisfied. We have tried lots of different things, but I couldn't seem to ever make a difference. It was easy for me to feel down on myself and doubt my abilities as a homeschooler. After yet another week of discouragement, things seemed to be coming to a head. One Friday I learned that Brandon was fasting. While Dallin and I were on our date, we discussed the issues, and both ended the conversation feeling more frustrated and discouraged than when we started. Later that evening, I was nursing the baby and thinking about homeschooling. I was thinking about mentors and thinking about all of the interviews I have had with Brandon. One thing he said was that on of the only things he really looked forward to studying was the scriptures. I decided maybe we needed to follow that a little and started thinking of who would be a good mentor. My dad popped into my mind and I realized that he would be needing help this time of year for tree trimming. My dad is also a family history expert, and that is something Brandon said he has been feeling inspired to learn more about. I called my mom and found out they would be coming through on their way home from Arizona in just a couple of days. When I talked to Brandon it seemed like a great idea for him, so we prepared to have him spend a couple of weeks in Idaho. That was a relief and answer to prayers.
The morning of his birthday, I drove him to get his drivers license. His friends attend a charter school next to the DMV so I dropped him off there to spend the day with them. We invited a bunch of Brandon's friends over for a "surprise" party, but he surprised the friends by getting home early! That evening, we opened presents and had some treats when my parents got into town. I think it was a fun day for him. The next day we ate out with my parents and they headed home with Brandon.
I started to feel a sore throat that night, but it seemed minor, and only on one side so I thought it was just stress. It still hurt the next day and seemed to be getting worse, but didn't seem like strep. Finally, on the 3rd morning, I knew it was strep and got some antibiotics. But by then it had a pretty strong hold on me. I ended up being down with that sickness for about a week. Not a good thing for a homeschool mama. Things got pretty dark and difficult when on top of that Corban was not sleeping well. I was completely physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. Thankfully I had several people come help and bring dinner. Our Home Teacher's wife came and took the girls shopping on Sullivan's birthday. She also came in and cleaned the kitchen and stayed with the kids for awhile while I rested. Another neighbor came and got my laundry and brought it back folded that evening. I felt so cared for and blessed!
I got better just in time to sing at a musical production created by some women in our stake called "You Are Enough". It was beautiful, and such a message that women need to hear in these days when Satan tries so hard to drag women down with lies about their efforts and their worth. I was really grateful to be a part of that.
We were blessed to have our friends the Wells from Las Vegas come stay a night with us. It is always so much fun to catch up with such a good friend. We stayed up really late talking, but it was worth it! She also homeschools a large family so we always have a lot to talk about.
The Provo City Center Temple dedication was on Dallin's birthday. He was pretty excited about that because it meant no bishopric meetings and because he was born in Provo and has enjoyed watching the progress of the temple there.
We squeezed one more good day of school in the following week and attended our group violin lesson before we packed up to go pick up Brandon in Idaho. Cousins up there were on Spring Break, so we packed up our violins and went to Grandma's. It was a nice break from the whirlwind that had been going on here.
Something we had been preparing most for was a birthday party for Aunt Melissa. She has the perfect personality to bond and unify the older cousins in the family. She recently got excited about unicorns, so we planned a unicorn party for her. My kids saved their money to buy her some unicorn stuff, and I emailed all the cousins and asked them to draw a unicorn picture to make a book for her. It was great fun, and I think she loved the gifts! Nathan also made her a One Direction T-shirt with her face photoshopped in. It was really great!
We helped Grandma get the graduation quilts going for the 4 kids who are graduating this year. That felt good to help her out a little after all she does for us. It is always such a treat to be with my parents. Literally, too, because they took us to some great restaurants while we were there, too.
After a few days with Grandma, we headed up to Shelley to be with Millington cousins for a baptism. Dallin and Nathan met us there Friday night. We had a wonderful visit. I always feel so grateful to Karami and Kevin for their example and friendship. She gave me some great things to think about for homeschooling and it is so nice to lift one another and help each other along the path of discipleship. The baptism was great, and it was fun to catch up with Kevin's siblings that we haven't seen for awhile. We heard a great story about a candy snitch accidentally eating a real robin egg when he tried to steal his brother's candy.
I came back really excited to have a great homeschooling week and get back into life. Monday was pretty good. We got a lot done and enjoyed learning together. Tuesday got completely hijacked. It started with Daisy waking up feeling miserable with a sinus infection. She is prone to sinus troubles, but I could tell it was different this time. It was affecting her vision. I helped some less than enthusiastic littles with violin before heading to the doctor. We got her some antibiotics and made it home just in time for Simon's boys class. I thought I was in charge of the lesson and we were just going to have to make it a play day, but the other mom was all ready to go. They finished up a really big requirement for scouts and we headed out to watch them enjoy their creations. I was so excited to sit in the porch swing and just visit for a few minutes and catch my breath. I looked over and noticed our cat was in the crate. That seemed unusual so I peeked in at her and saw a gaping hole on her side. Then we were off to the vet. I think some other things happened that day, but it ended and I tried to redeem the rest of the week. Things did not seem to be much improved with Brandon, but I didn't even have a chance to talk to him about it because I was constantly putting out fires.
We had marshmallow catapult wars for our family activity on Thursday as a part of our medieval studies. It was way more fun than I even imagined. We stacked up cups on either side of the racquetball court and tried to knock the other team's "castle" down first.
I was kinda sad we had to end early and eat a quick dinner before I went to perform in another "You Are Enough" program. Dallin got to come with me this time, and it gave us a lot to think about and talk about. Each program starts with a mental health professional giving a short talk. Throughout the program, women from the ward or stake share personal experiences where life didn't work out the way they hoped and what they learned from the experience. It was really powerful.
We had a few people come give us bids for replacing windows in our house because we had some leftover tax return money. We ended up only having about half of what we needed. We considered getting half the windows replaced, but then reconsidered when I got sick. We started wondering if it was time for me to try surgery to fix some of my nasal/sinus issues. I wasn't feeling great about that idea, but knew we should probably decide what to do with the money so it wouldn't just get spent on dumb stuff. The kids had started asking about our own Spring Break. Dallin would be home for the week, and we were thinking we would just stay home and get some projects done and relax. I had this little crazy idea that I wanted to take the kids to the ocean before Nathan leaves home. A couple of my kids had mentioned never seeing or not remembering being at the ocean. It seemed like too big of an idea on too short notice, but somehow after our date on Friday night we found ourselves looking at vacation rentals in California. But that's a story for April.
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