A Story About Mexico

Way back in August, I was driving down into Loafer Canyon when I began to think about the money Dallin was getting for his summer paycheck.  I had the thought that we needed to save $1000 because somebody would need it at Christmas. 

Near the same time, I began thinking about Christmas and if we might want to change things up a bit by going to a hotel in Salt Lake and just enjoying some family time instead of lots of presents.  I absolutely love buying presents for my family.  It is just hard to make it all work out with such a large family.  I sometimes find myself buying stuff we don't really need just to make things come out even, etc.  It can get overwhelming.  Dallin and I talked about some different ideas.  We also tucked that $1000 away where we knew we wouldn't spend it. 

Then Dallin went on a hike with our dentist.  He heard him talking about a humanitarian trip that their family had done in Mexico.  Dallin got more information and found out the first meeting was that Sunday.  So we met up with Builders Without Borders and learned about what they do.  For $300 per person plus any and all donations you can come up with, you can go with their group to Mexico and build homes and do other humanitarian projects for the week following Christmas.  It sounded wonderful, and right in our budget.  Originally the plan was for Dallin and I to go with Nathan and Brandon.  That meant we had a couple hundred more than our thousand to come up with.  We scrimped and moved some things about and worked it out. 

The meeting the boys went to got them super excited.  Nathan decided to to his Eagle project there and we payed our participation fee.  That weekend was my time to wean Sullivan to make it possible for us to go.  I really really wanted to go, but I was getting nervous about leaving my 5 younger kids with my mom during a pretty busy time of year.  I learned that my brother's family would be staying at her house for most of that time and I was beginning to have some reservations about it.  Still, I really wanted to go and didn't know if I'd get another chance and I had my passport ready, so I planned a date to start the weaning process. 

The day came, and that morning I was addressing some photo cards we sent out for Thanksgiving.  When I got to Dallin's sister's card, an idea came to me.  I realized that she might be having Christmas alone this year as she is divorced and her husband lives a few states away from her.  I had the thought that I wanted to be sure she had something to ease her loneliness, and I felt sad that we were going to be gone for the whole break.  Then I thought that if I had to stay for some reason that she might like to go. 

Weaning was a disaster.  Sullivan had been growing increasingly insecure leading up to the day, probably because I had tried to talk to him about it and prep him for it.  When it actually came time to tell him I couldn't nurse him, he cried and cried.  He would sleep for a short time and then cry and cry.  Finally I brought him in to my bed to see if  he'd just snuggle down, but he went completely ballistic.  He was writhing around like an animal and could not calm down, even when I got desperate and offered to nurse him.  The whole situation felt so wrong and horrible that I just knew it wasn't going to happen.  I didn't want my sweet little boy to have that kind of anxiety and I didn't want his wonderful personality to change.  I told Dallin I didn't think I should go to Mexico and that I thought maybe Milee would like to go.  He agreed, and what a relief I felt.  By this time we were down in the kitchen because he was making so much noise.  I finally put him in his time out chair and told him he needed to calm down and come tell mommy what he needed.  He finally got down and found me and asked for milk.  That decision was made.  And I was so happy to find out that Milee was excited about the idea and she began making plans to update her passport, etc.  Everybody loved having her along on the trip!

Nathan did a big fundraiser selling CD's of me singing and his specialty snowball cookies.  It did amazingly well, raising over 3 times the amount of money he thought he would need.  His plan was to gather supplies to take and print and frame family portraits for the people down in Mexico.  A similar project had been done a couple of years ago and had been really successful, with some people getting their first ever photo taken.  The whole thing was a lot of work for all of us, but I am proud of how much he took charge and made sure it happened.  One of his biggest days was a day Dallin and I were in Salt Lake all day, but he managed to work things out really well.  At the very last minute, the printer that had been donated did not work, so we had to head out to find a printer that he could take down.  There were a few upsets like that, but there was just a feeling that everything would work out so we didn't get ruffled.  And all of this was going on during the Christmas season!  I look back and feel extremely grateful for the gift of peace that I had.

Somehow we got to the week before Christmas.  Somehow they got all of their stuff packed and loaded into the trailers that were going to Mexico.  Somehow we got all of our Christmas stuff packed and ready to go to Idaho.  The day after Christmas they were gone.  I got a phone call when they were about to cross the border.  I didn't talk to them or hear from them at all until 7 days later when they crossed back into the United States.  But it was a fabulous experience.  So many great learning experiences in getting along with people, in building things, in appreciating what we have here, in seeing how other people live. 

By the time Christmas came, I was wondering if this was a good idea.  I love Christmas so much that I was really sad to be missing my other half and my big boys for the holiday.  I was sad they missed out on being with grandparents and cousins.  I was sad that the Mexico trip added stress to a time of  year I try so hard to make special.  And I was sad that it was hard for Dallin to really be present even on Christmas eve and Christmas day because he was making last minute preparations.  I thought that the timing was just wrong. 

But now I've heard the stories and seen the pictures and felt the love and friendships that developed between the people involved and I think it might just need to happen again.