Why haven't I been blogging lately?

Because when I think about it, my mind draws a blank.

Because when I try to compose on my PC, the words are invisible until I click the mouse. No idea why this happens. So I have to use my laptop.

I think my creative juices are all being used up elsewhere.

But February has been a good month, and it deserves a little notice.

My favorite thing about February has been having Ruby home. She is wonderful.
She fits right into our schedule that I described last month. While I rest in the morning, she does her schoolwork.
It is nice to have her surprise me by having Sarajoy ready for the day when I wake up.
It is nice to have somebody I can talk to on more of an adult level.
It is nice to have someone watching out for the kids while I rest. She's my flesh-and-blood angel watching over them now.
It is nice to look forward to doing a fun game or project with her everyday. We've played many rounds of Blink, and I've only beaten her a handful of times. We've done mending, craft projects, and things to get ready for the baby. Last week she helped me cut out and fold and iron 85 picots for a quilt we're making for the baby.
It is nice to have someone as excited as I am about the baby coming. We spent last weekend in Idaho with my family. Two one-month-old babies kept Ruby and I blissfully occupied. It is pretty sweet to have a little person curled up with her tummy against my baby-bump. I didn't realize Ruby was such a baby lover. Just like me, she'd rather be holding the newborns than playing with cousins. It made me even more excited to have her home as my #1 helper for our baby boy.
It is nice to feel like a "real" homeschooler again, too. I don't feel quite so weird participating in homeschool activities as I did in December and January.
It is nice to see how content she is here. I love being around her.

We had a nice Valentine's Day. We decided to try the homeschool skating party. It was pretty insane how many people were there, but it was still fun. I definitely did not get to visit with my friends much, but I saw people I haven't seen for awhile, so that was fun. I was sad I couldn't get out there and help Simon learn how to skate. He really wanted to, but was miserable trying it on his own. Thankfully they had a play area and bounce-house for him to have fun with. Ruby had a great time skating with her good friend Olivia. After that, we went to the mall so Ruby could purchase an organizer for her earrings. She found a cute purple owl one. It has been a long time since I've been in a Claire's store. I remember shopping there when I was a teenager. It was fun to see all the cute girly stuff. Ruby was probably wondering how she didn't know that such a store existed!
Dallin and I exchanged Valentines over dinner. We got each other chocolate. Just what I wanted! I have been on such a serious chocolate kick lately. Time for this pregnancy to be over! My favorite treat is to get a big spoonful of crunchy peanut butter and stir in some chocolate chips and marshmallows. It reminds me of a peanut-chocoloate chip-marshmallow snack mix my mom used to give me when I was a kid. I'd put the marshmallows on the peanuts and it would remind me of a middle-eastern with a turban on his head. Food and emotions...

I've slowly but surely been getting things ready for the baby. It was really exciting for me to hit the 36 week mark and have my big birth plan appointment. It is nice to be at the point where I can really start thinking about the birth and getting excited about it. She brought the birth kit and the pool. I pulled the crib out of the little nursery off our room and the birth pool fits snugly in there. It was Dallin's idea to put it in there. Our room is so much smaller here than in our other house. I think it will be a good place for it. Sarajoy slept in her crib for the last few times when she was sick. Now it has fresh sheets and blankets, no more pink! I raised the mattress to the highest setting and set out the little outfit, hat, and blanket we'll wrap our new baby boy in. It is fun to walk by and see it all ready to go. I even found a bumper pad at DI that is just the right color. I spent the other night adjusting it to fit our little old-fashioned crib. I've sewn a few diaper covers out of the fun prints my mom and I found at the fabric store. I really didn't NEED any more diapers, but it will be fun to have a few prints. I've been experimenting with some different designs to improve upon the ones I made when I was pregnant with Sarajoy. All of the clothes up to 6 months have been washed and folded in the dresser. The carseat and stroller have been disassembled, washed, and put back together. I made a new baby carrier as my favorite one is worn out and I found some fun polyester double-knit in Dallin's Grandma's collection after she passed away. KSL classifieds have supplied us with a baby swing, a matching bouncy-seat and portable swing, and I used some Amazon dollars to get a boppy, baby tub, and baby calendar. I've needed to purchase very little in the baby clothing department. In fact, I've had to give away some really cute stuff because I've gotten more tiny hand-me-downs than I think I can use. My babies, especially boys, don't stay tiny for very long at all. We got the pictures hung in our bedroom. We have a collage of temples that we've been through as well as a display with a large picture of each of our babies. I have a couple of shelves that I hang the blessing outfits from. One is for the girls, and one for the boys. The shelves display little baby items and pictures of the kids in their blessing outfits. It feels like it is really my room in here! I bought special snacks for the kids to enjoy during the first days after the baby is born. I have a few housecleaning projects that I'd like to get done before the baby comes. I have a few more diapers to sew and a quilt to finish. I also need to make a blessing outfit. It is all fun because it is all for the baby, and I love baby stuff!

I've been nervous about getting to this part of pregnancy, though, because it is so hard for me to wait! Having the last 3 babies come at 41 weeks or later has been torture. I had some false labor Monday and Tuesday of this week that was really hard to deal with. It is impossible for me not to get my hopes up. Then on Wednesday, I found out that my friend who was due 5 days before me had her baby last Sunday! I am SO excited for her and so happy she had such a great experience. But it was a little hard to swallow after having my hopes up Tuesday evening. I went out by myself and spent some time with her and her baby. Then I took myself out to dinner and did a little shopping. I was still feeling kinda low until I got home. I started putting away the things I got and showing the kids the nice things my friend had given me as a baby gift, and my spirits rose. I finally felt the peace I had been praying for all day. It settled in pretty strong, and I feel like I'm excited and fine with this baby coming when it is ready. I have a lot of good and fun things to do to prepare. I still have a wish in my heart for my baby to come out earlier and be a little smaller so I can enjoy that tiny stage for a little longer than I usually do, but I know it is not that important. I don't want to ruin this special time of joy and anticipation. I feel like I've been able to turn it over to the Lord better than I ever have before. I think it will stick, too. I'm prepared for those last weeks where I can't really move. I loaded up on the chick-flicks my sister bought to get her through the beginning of her pregnancy. It is a really big deal for me to be in this state of mind, and I am grateful for the help in getting there. I had a little test of it Wednesday night when I was up for 4 hours with contractions again. It was the first time I've ever had contractions and wished they would just go away! I was too tired and had just wrapped my brain around waiting awhile! I held in the tears until my midwife came Thurs. afternoon. By then I was so tired it was ridiculous. I can honestly say the tears were more about the fatigue than they were about not having the baby yet. That's progress for me! Now she is out of town until possibly next Sunday. I'll be 39 weeks when she gets back. Hopefully I'll still be in good spirits. I think I will.

Saturday I woke up with a horrible headache. I forced myself to eat despite having no appetite. I felt rotten all day. I was disappointed because I'd really wanted to get some of my projects done. The only thing I was able to do was fold and put away laundry while I watched chick flicks. Then I went to bed. I've only been out of bed to eat since then. I think I got hit with a sinus infection. I am feeling much better now, so I'm hoping all of the sleeping did some good. I'm also hoping I haven't ruined all chances of sleeping tonight. Nights are always hard. I never know how it will be. I've found if I force myself to read until my eyes absolutely won't stay open, I can fall asleep. Otherwise I deal with restless legs and itching and even once I'm asleep it is rare to get more than an hour before I have to go to the bathroom. A few times I've had to read myself back to sleep or get on the computer and get something done for awhile before I can sleep again. It is just dark and lonely and I hate it. It seems like my body finally settles down at 4 or 5, just when it is almost time for everyone to wake up. I'm so grateful that I've been able to nap during most mornings.

The kids are doing well. Nathan still really loves Jr. High, and is working hard on his grades. I had to tell him that grades at school aren't nearly as important to me as how he's doing at home and church. He has taken it seriously and I've seen improvement there as well. He has started preparation for his Youth Leadership Training in the summer. Last Summer he participated in a leadership program for scouts and absolutely loved it. This year he is going back as a counselor. They train for 3 hours every-other Sunday until it starts in June. He is enjoying it. Brandon has really shown some great effort in his academics. It is such a challenge for him, and I'm proud to see how he's risen to it. He's gotten really excited about basketball, too, since that's what they play on the playground. He goes out and practices on our court almost every day. He got some tickets to a UVU game from school so Dallin took him and Nathan. They met Kent and Aaron and Becca for that on Saturday and had some Krispy Kremes afterwards. Daisy is getting really good at doing her homework almost all by herself. I feel bad that I haven't had as much time to read with her and practice her flashcards lately. She's the middle child who easily falls through the cracks. She's alwasy pretty content to just be playing, so it is easy to not spend the special time with her that I should. She really loves her class and has shown some maturity in being able to get herself ready and to the bus on time. She's working on getting a break from her job of sweeping the kitchen floor every night. If she does it cheerfully 14 times, then she gets a break. She's almost halfway there, and so excited for that break. Reading the Spirited Child book has really helped me enjoy Simon more lately. He is such a fun, funny kid. I have been able to mostly emotionally detatch myself from his misbehavior. I feel like I can understand better the kind of strong temperament and intense feelings he experiences. I'm trying to talk to him about them more and help him learn how to deal with them appropriately. One thing that he does when he is angry is run. I think that's actually a pretty healthy response, except when it is done in a parking lot! I've encouraged him to run or go up to my soft bed or come get a hug. He was pretty upset at church in Idaho when he realized his tantrum in the car made him miss the sacrament bread. He ran right out the door. I didn't think much of it because he was on the sidewalk. I didn't think he'd go too far so I stayed seated a few minutes before I went to check on him. Once he saw me, he headed around a corner. Rather than chase him around the church, I thought I'd go inside and try to intercept him from another door. I missed him, and couldn't find him for quite awhile. I went in to Sacrament Meeting and got Dallin. He finally found him face-down on the doormat leading to the Stake Offices. I couldn't see him when I'd looked around that corner because there is a retaining wall next to the entrance. He's really into dressing up like a knight lately. He likes watching Peter Pan and Sword in the Stone. He's always imagining something, and it often involves a treasure. I can't wait till it warms up so I can bury a real treasure for him. Sarajoy is finally talking up a storm. She's learned some choice new feisty phrases like "dop doing dat" and "dop dalking a me". She doesn't say her "l" sound or "K" sound very often, so it is funny to hear her talk. "Mommy, baby dying" is something she says a lot. "Baby dying?" I ask. "No, baby dying, yike dis, waaa, waaa." I also got my first "I yuv you dyoo" this month. She is convinced she has a baby boy (or sometimes girl now) in her tummy. "Amost doming out." She'll say. She was getting tired of her carseat on our recent trip and she said to Nathan, "My tummy huts" He asked her why and she said, "tus my baby boy is pushing!" She loves to read books. Her favorites right now are Clap Your Hands, Little Mommy, and Where the Wild Things Are. Simon asked to get Wild Things from the library, so we've been reading it every night for a few weeks. They both have it memorized. I love it when we get to the part where they "roar their terrible roars and gnash their terrible teeth." Sarajoy gets really into that part, and it is so funny to see her playing the scary monster. She also has most of Little Mommy memorized. It is an old-fashioned Golden Book that is so sweet about a little girl taking care of her dollies all day long. Just like my Sarajoy. She loves the baby pictures that we've hung and quickly memorized which baby is which.

I've really got to do this more often so I don't have these monster posts! So thankful for the great experiences I'm having. It is a good life.