Fortunately

In 2010, when my heart was opened to the idea of having more children, I had no idea what it meant.  I have previously shared the confusion I have felt over whether our family was complete or not.  Since Sullivan came to our family, I have had lots of questions from others about whether or not we were "done."  I am not offended by this curiosity like many people are.  It doesn't bother me to share things like that with others, and I frankly feel a need to talk about it sometimes because it occupies my mind and heart so frequently!  But I never had an answer.  "I don't know,"  was all I could say.  When Sulley was past 2 and weaned at 26 months and my body was showing no sign or regularity, I started to wonder if maybe I was done.   I don't know if I will ever not feel baby hungry, but I have felt pretty peaceful about things going either way.  People like to tell me I am still young, but my body is 7 pregnancies "old", and I am tired!  Not tired enough to deny somebody a chance to come to our family, though. 

It is sometimes fun and exciting, and sometimes really scary to put that decision in the hands of God and nature.  I prayed about it daily for years.  I think through the summer Dallin and I both felt a roller coaster of emotions about it.  I got to a point where I was definitely in the baby hungry and ready phase, but nothing was happening.  At a homeschool meeting, I borrowed a bouncy, giggly baby boy from some friends for a few minutes.  He is their 11th!  Dallin and I played with that little guy and drank in his smiles and giggles.  I asked Dallin later if he was baby hungry.  "How could you not be after playing with that little guy?" he said.  Pretty heartwarming! 

Weeks went by, and I was paying more attention to my body and wondering if things were beginning to wake up.  I watched and waited and arrived at the day before I had decided to take  a pregnancy test. 

It was temple day with the big kids.  I have taken fewer homeschool trips this year so I have some time alone with my 3 big kids.  We usually get some dinner after we are finished, so I invited my niece who is at BYU to join us for dinner afterwards.  We drove around Provo for a few minutes until we settled on Panda Express.  I was kind of excited to read my fortune cookie after we ate because I was anticipating the pregnancy test the next morning.  I had Brandon read it to me and giggled with delight:

A very welcome visitor!  And the next morning I got the good news!

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