Since the big kids were with me when I got my fortune, I told them why I was so excited about it. So they knew the next day about my pregnancy. I have never told them so early, but it felt right. I have been a little concerned about my oldest son's and daughter's responses to any mention of having more babies. They are both really responsible, reliable kids, and I can see how they take a lot of the burden upon themselves. I was hoping they would be able to find some room for excitement, though.
A couple of weeks before my test, Ruby had come up to me during co-op and told me about a dream. She said she dreamed I had a red-headed baby girl and she was so excited. She said when she woke up from the dream she was really sad because it had seemed so real. That warmed my heart and reassured me that she would be ready for the news if and when it came.
I was surprised that none of the kids asked me in the morning about my results, but it was a busy day full of classes, etc. I brought it up to Nathan when he got home. "Aren't you wondering about the test I took this morning?" I asked slyly. "Oh yeah, I forgot," he said. "Looks like you might have a birthday buddy," I said. He continued down the stairs, smiling. A few minutes later he ran back up and said, "How close of a birthday buddy?" And I could tell he was excited. My due date is only 2 days shy of what his due date was.
Brandon and Daisy were thrilled. We waited a few weeks to tell the younger kids. When I told Sarajoy, she said, "Good, now we can have another girl." Simon said, "What are we going to name her?" I told Sullivan there was a baby growing in my tummy and it was going to grow up and come out so he could hold it. He said, "Yeah, and it is going to be a girl."
Needless to say, we are all getting a little too attached to the idea of having a girl...
And at a Relief Society party when I told someone I was craving pomegranates, they said, "You must be having a redhead..."
(Sometimes superstition is a little bit fun)
But we are all very excited to find out for sure and we will be so thankful either way.
We've Given Up the Easy Life for the Good Life
Monday, October 27, 2014
Friday, October 10, 2014
The Heart of a Brother
I decided to grow a backbone and hold our 16-year old to his curfew agreement last week. It is never easy for me to administer consequences, but I really felt I needed to help him learn the commitment and punctuality that keeping curfew requires. So he lost the privilege of going out this week. Not a big deal, really, because he is so busy, but he loves going to the high school football games and there was one tonight. He could have made a big deal about missing it, but he made a better choice instead.
His choir was singing the national anthem, so he had to be there at the beginning of the game. When he learned that his sisters had been invited for the evening to go to a friend's house, he cheerfully offered to drive them since it would be on the way. The next thing I know, he's loading Sullivan in the car, too. I wondered how that would work having a 2 year old with him while he tried to sing. That little guy came back feeling so special, with so much to say! He got to see flags and fireworks and hang out with "Mrs. Christensen", a friend's mom, while Nathan sang. I think those two guys genuinely had a great time together, even though they didn't get to stay for the whole game.
So big brother came home and cleaned out the van so he can use it for his big homecoming date tomorrow night. As soon as he was done, he was down on the couch with his little friend. Diego is always more fun when you have a big brother to watch it with.
It is such a joy to see my kids care for each other. It makes the hard parts of big family life completely and totally worth it!
His choir was singing the national anthem, so he had to be there at the beginning of the game. When he learned that his sisters had been invited for the evening to go to a friend's house, he cheerfully offered to drive them since it would be on the way. The next thing I know, he's loading Sullivan in the car, too. I wondered how that would work having a 2 year old with him while he tried to sing. That little guy came back feeling so special, with so much to say! He got to see flags and fireworks and hang out with "Mrs. Christensen", a friend's mom, while Nathan sang. I think those two guys genuinely had a great time together, even though they didn't get to stay for the whole game.
So big brother came home and cleaned out the van so he can use it for his big homecoming date tomorrow night. As soon as he was done, he was down on the couch with his little friend. Diego is always more fun when you have a big brother to watch it with.
It is such a joy to see my kids care for each other. It makes the hard parts of big family life completely and totally worth it!
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Fortunately
In 2010, when my heart was opened to the idea of having more children, I had no idea what it meant. I have previously shared the confusion I have felt over whether our family was complete or not. Since Sullivan came to our family, I have had lots of questions from others about whether or not we were "done." I am not offended by this curiosity like many people are. It doesn't bother me to share things like that with others, and I frankly feel a need to talk about it sometimes because it occupies my mind and heart so frequently! But I never had an answer. "I don't know," was all I could say. When Sulley was past 2 and weaned at 26 months and my body was showing no sign or regularity, I started to wonder if maybe I was done. I don't know if I will ever not feel baby hungry, but I have felt pretty peaceful about things going either way. People like to tell me I am still young, but my body is 7 pregnancies "old", and I am tired! Not tired enough to deny somebody a chance to come to our family, though.
It is sometimes fun and exciting, and sometimes really scary to put that decision in the hands of God and nature. I prayed about it daily for years. I think through the summer Dallin and I both felt a roller coaster of emotions about it. I got to a point where I was definitely in the baby hungry and ready phase, but nothing was happening. At a homeschool meeting, I borrowed a bouncy, giggly baby boy from some friends for a few minutes. He is their 11th! Dallin and I played with that little guy and drank in his smiles and giggles. I asked Dallin later if he was baby hungry. "How could you not be after playing with that little guy?" he said. Pretty heartwarming!
Weeks went by, and I was paying more attention to my body and wondering if things were beginning to wake up. I watched and waited and arrived at the day before I had decided to take a pregnancy test.
It was temple day with the big kids. I have taken fewer homeschool trips this year so I have some time alone with my 3 big kids. We usually get some dinner after we are finished, so I invited my niece who is at BYU to join us for dinner afterwards. We drove around Provo for a few minutes until we settled on Panda Express. I was kind of excited to read my fortune cookie after we ate because I was anticipating the pregnancy test the next morning. I had Brandon read it to me and giggled with delight:
A very welcome visitor! And the next morning I got the good news!
...
It is sometimes fun and exciting, and sometimes really scary to put that decision in the hands of God and nature. I prayed about it daily for years. I think through the summer Dallin and I both felt a roller coaster of emotions about it. I got to a point where I was definitely in the baby hungry and ready phase, but nothing was happening. At a homeschool meeting, I borrowed a bouncy, giggly baby boy from some friends for a few minutes. He is their 11th! Dallin and I played with that little guy and drank in his smiles and giggles. I asked Dallin later if he was baby hungry. "How could you not be after playing with that little guy?" he said. Pretty heartwarming!
Weeks went by, and I was paying more attention to my body and wondering if things were beginning to wake up. I watched and waited and arrived at the day before I had decided to take a pregnancy test.
It was temple day with the big kids. I have taken fewer homeschool trips this year so I have some time alone with my 3 big kids. We usually get some dinner after we are finished, so I invited my niece who is at BYU to join us for dinner afterwards. We drove around Provo for a few minutes until we settled on Panda Express. I was kind of excited to read my fortune cookie after we ate because I was anticipating the pregnancy test the next morning. I had Brandon read it to me and giggled with delight:
A very welcome visitor! And the next morning I got the good news!
...
Monday, September 29, 2014
Answered
This post has been begging to be written. I feel it an error to make it wait another day.
Sometimes when you have a large family and things are hard, you don't really realize it until you look back. Life just keeps you at its incredible pace. There is no time to think if things are hard, you just do. Not to say I was completely oblivious to the difficulties of this winter and spring, but I was busy and happy and just accepting what came. Looking back, however, it was hard! I was sick or the kids were sick and I was just hanging on for dear life, letting pretty much everything go except our outside commitments and a few household tasks that I was not doing very well. I was pretty good at getting dinner on the table and sort of kept laundry going.
As I began to feel a little better toward the end of the summer, I realized how badly I did NOT want to go back to having things that way. And as each productive, energetic day went by, I feared it a little more. I've been exercising again, getting up at 5am to swim in a neighbor's indoor pool. I've had more time to think and study and pray. And homeschool is going so well! How I LOVE spending time with my kids learning and recording what we learn.
It came on slowly, beginning with some extreme fatigue on the weekend. Then my swimming time didn't seem to be making me feel the way it had been. By Wednesday I felt like it was giving me asthma. And I had a kink in my back that was getting worse, causing increasing pain in my neck, head, and sinuses. I felt like I was starting to fall apart! I was so discouraged! I was filling every single minute of my days with good causes, doing everything I possibly could to be healthy. But it wasn't working. I was still slipping back into the survival mode. By Thursday evening, I was feeling pretty miserable, but knew I just needed to keep plugging along. After all, my days are scheduled almost down to the minute in order to keep everything maintained. As much as I knew I needed to rest, I just couldn't see a time where I could fit that in without placing a huge burden on my husband or kids or friends. Besides, my friends are all in the same boat! We're all trying to school and care for large families on limited amounts of time and dollars.
At this point, picking dinner became less romantic. I was desperate for rest, but each evening knew I had a big job ahead of me. We were going on weeks without buying groceries, so much of our comfort foods of butter, milk, eggs, and cheese were gone. We were trying to be good sports about oatmeal with water or powdered milk, but it was getting hard. I had prayed several times for the Lord to send us a little food if it was His will, but knew I was learning a lot of important things by using what we had stored and making the best of our harvest. I was being blessed to know what to make each day, and I even found a big bag of homemade butter that I had frozen so long ago. My kids won't eat it because it tastes cheesy, but I love it. I was SO thankful for it the day we decided to make some popcorn and I realized we were out of butter! So I was okay about the food, really. I knew it was a good experience for me, but I felt that all of the comforts of my life were slipping away.
Friday morning I was not well at all. I had big plans for what we were going to accomplish that day, and I couldn't stand to see them drift away. I prayed hard to know what to do. I felt so alone, like anyone I could ask for help was already dealing with their own burden. I knew there were things I could do to pamper and care for myself, but I couldn't see a way to actually do them. My time and energy was already more than spoken for! I cried out to the Lord, "Who will take care of me? I'm taking care of so many, and willingly, but what do I do with this?"
I knew I needed a chiropractic adjustment, so I texted the chiropractor, hoping he might have an opening today. He has been pretty busy lately, so I knew it was a long shot. Then I went back to bed. I just had to. I told the kids I was available because it was a time of day that I knew they would need me. I was wakened to help with discipline, to help with math, to encourage with chores, but I did rest. And the chiropractor had an opening at 11:30! The answers started there. I prayed hard before I went into his home that he would know what to say and I would know what to ask and that he would have answers for me. I left feeling so hopeful! My sinuses were already starting to drain and my back felt relieved from the adjustment. But more importantly, he said things to me that helped me see where my thoughts were off. He also said he noticed I was losing weight. I don't even know if I am because I don't care much for weighing myself, but it was what I needed to hear that my hard work of getting up early to exercise wasn't being wasted.
I felt like a new person when I got back in my car. My body was fragile and aching like it always is after an adjustment, but my spirits felt so much more hopeful. I had a thought to call a friend who lives in the same area. She makes colloidal silver to help with her sinus problems. I wanted to try it, so I gave her a call. She was home and happy to share some with me. No charge, because another friend had given her the bottles, and that's all she usually charges friends for. I'm not alone, there ARE people who will help me and care for me!
When I got home, the kids were happily and busily making lunches so we could go to park day. They got everything ready with hardly a word from me. Just before we left, Daisy slipped me a $20 bill that she has been saving for months so I could buy a few groceries. Sarajoy caught the giving bug and joyfully gave me her precious dollar from her purse! How could I accept it, but how could I not? This would allow the dinner date with Dallin I was desperately longing for! And milk! Park day was especially refreshing and nourishing. I left feeling renewed.
I was so excited to go home and tell Dallin we could go on a date! He was at the library picking some things up for me. I just couldn't wait, so I had Nathan drive me down and drop me off. It was incredibly fun to have some minutes to browse the shelves uninterrupted! I took note that it was actually a pretty fun date. We both found some fun, free treasures to bring home. I told him about Daisy's gift and how much I needed a dinner out. (We are seriously the worst at dates. We have dinner together about twice a year.) He started heading for Café Rio, even though I hadn't told him that was where I wanted to go. I knew we could share a meal there for pretty cheap and still have money left for a few things at the store. Then he whipped a Café Rio gift card out of his wallet that he had won at work! We could each get our own meal! It was delicious and comforting and lovely to have that meal with him. We picked up the few necessities we could with our $16.38 and still had a dollar left for a couple of ice cream cones at the deli. I felt full and healed.
We came home to a giant package of toilet paper in our kitchen. I didn't mention that we ran out of toilet paper the night before co-op and I had to beg my friend to bring some for the 38 or so kids that would be there. So toilet paper was a more than welcome sight. My kids excitedly showed me the other goodies a friend had left for me. They told me she was being very sneaky, but they saw who she was. Loads and loads of groceries that I know she would not buy for her own family because they are having such frugal times. So humbling. The next morning I got a text from another friend that she was bringing me some butter. We were not home until later that day so I gave her the garage code. We came home to even more treats, more abundance! I am still finding treasures since she is the one who put the things away. Last night I found bacon! We had BLT's for dinner, and they were delicious! I'm still getting teary when I think of my friends sacrificing their precious food budgets for me. Sunday night, when our tummies were full of BLT deliciousness, another friend stopped by who had cleared her meager pantry to bring abundance to me. Again, how could I accept it, but how could I not? The Lord had answered my prayers through these people and I knew he would bless them for it. The variety of treats she brought complimented the other gifts in such a lovely way. How did she know we needed chips to go with our homemade salsa? And yummy Nesquick for a delicious milky treat. We are feeling downright spoiled!
As wonderful a relief as the food is, it isn't about the food. It is about the Lord answering my prayer to let me know I will be cared for. One way or another, He will care for me. How humbled and grateful I am to know I have friends I can count on to be there for me and care for me. These are the kinds of miracles that only happen when things get hard. I testify that prayers are answered.
...
Sometimes when you have a large family and things are hard, you don't really realize it until you look back. Life just keeps you at its incredible pace. There is no time to think if things are hard, you just do. Not to say I was completely oblivious to the difficulties of this winter and spring, but I was busy and happy and just accepting what came. Looking back, however, it was hard! I was sick or the kids were sick and I was just hanging on for dear life, letting pretty much everything go except our outside commitments and a few household tasks that I was not doing very well. I was pretty good at getting dinner on the table and sort of kept laundry going.
As I began to feel a little better toward the end of the summer, I realized how badly I did NOT want to go back to having things that way. And as each productive, energetic day went by, I feared it a little more. I've been exercising again, getting up at 5am to swim in a neighbor's indoor pool. I've had more time to think and study and pray. And homeschool is going so well! How I LOVE spending time with my kids learning and recording what we learn.
It came on slowly, beginning with some extreme fatigue on the weekend. Then my swimming time didn't seem to be making me feel the way it had been. By Wednesday I felt like it was giving me asthma. And I had a kink in my back that was getting worse, causing increasing pain in my neck, head, and sinuses. I felt like I was starting to fall apart! I was so discouraged! I was filling every single minute of my days with good causes, doing everything I possibly could to be healthy. But it wasn't working. I was still slipping back into the survival mode. By Thursday evening, I was feeling pretty miserable, but knew I just needed to keep plugging along. After all, my days are scheduled almost down to the minute in order to keep everything maintained. As much as I knew I needed to rest, I just couldn't see a time where I could fit that in without placing a huge burden on my husband or kids or friends. Besides, my friends are all in the same boat! We're all trying to school and care for large families on limited amounts of time and dollars.
At this point, picking dinner became less romantic. I was desperate for rest, but each evening knew I had a big job ahead of me. We were going on weeks without buying groceries, so much of our comfort foods of butter, milk, eggs, and cheese were gone. We were trying to be good sports about oatmeal with water or powdered milk, but it was getting hard. I had prayed several times for the Lord to send us a little food if it was His will, but knew I was learning a lot of important things by using what we had stored and making the best of our harvest. I was being blessed to know what to make each day, and I even found a big bag of homemade butter that I had frozen so long ago. My kids won't eat it because it tastes cheesy, but I love it. I was SO thankful for it the day we decided to make some popcorn and I realized we were out of butter! So I was okay about the food, really. I knew it was a good experience for me, but I felt that all of the comforts of my life were slipping away.
Friday morning I was not well at all. I had big plans for what we were going to accomplish that day, and I couldn't stand to see them drift away. I prayed hard to know what to do. I felt so alone, like anyone I could ask for help was already dealing with their own burden. I knew there were things I could do to pamper and care for myself, but I couldn't see a way to actually do them. My time and energy was already more than spoken for! I cried out to the Lord, "Who will take care of me? I'm taking care of so many, and willingly, but what do I do with this?"
I knew I needed a chiropractic adjustment, so I texted the chiropractor, hoping he might have an opening today. He has been pretty busy lately, so I knew it was a long shot. Then I went back to bed. I just had to. I told the kids I was available because it was a time of day that I knew they would need me. I was wakened to help with discipline, to help with math, to encourage with chores, but I did rest. And the chiropractor had an opening at 11:30! The answers started there. I prayed hard before I went into his home that he would know what to say and I would know what to ask and that he would have answers for me. I left feeling so hopeful! My sinuses were already starting to drain and my back felt relieved from the adjustment. But more importantly, he said things to me that helped me see where my thoughts were off. He also said he noticed I was losing weight. I don't even know if I am because I don't care much for weighing myself, but it was what I needed to hear that my hard work of getting up early to exercise wasn't being wasted.
I felt like a new person when I got back in my car. My body was fragile and aching like it always is after an adjustment, but my spirits felt so much more hopeful. I had a thought to call a friend who lives in the same area. She makes colloidal silver to help with her sinus problems. I wanted to try it, so I gave her a call. She was home and happy to share some with me. No charge, because another friend had given her the bottles, and that's all she usually charges friends for. I'm not alone, there ARE people who will help me and care for me!
When I got home, the kids were happily and busily making lunches so we could go to park day. They got everything ready with hardly a word from me. Just before we left, Daisy slipped me a $20 bill that she has been saving for months so I could buy a few groceries. Sarajoy caught the giving bug and joyfully gave me her precious dollar from her purse! How could I accept it, but how could I not? This would allow the dinner date with Dallin I was desperately longing for! And milk! Park day was especially refreshing and nourishing. I left feeling renewed.
I was so excited to go home and tell Dallin we could go on a date! He was at the library picking some things up for me. I just couldn't wait, so I had Nathan drive me down and drop me off. It was incredibly fun to have some minutes to browse the shelves uninterrupted! I took note that it was actually a pretty fun date. We both found some fun, free treasures to bring home. I told him about Daisy's gift and how much I needed a dinner out. (We are seriously the worst at dates. We have dinner together about twice a year.) He started heading for Café Rio, even though I hadn't told him that was where I wanted to go. I knew we could share a meal there for pretty cheap and still have money left for a few things at the store. Then he whipped a Café Rio gift card out of his wallet that he had won at work! We could each get our own meal! It was delicious and comforting and lovely to have that meal with him. We picked up the few necessities we could with our $16.38 and still had a dollar left for a couple of ice cream cones at the deli. I felt full and healed.
We came home to a giant package of toilet paper in our kitchen. I didn't mention that we ran out of toilet paper the night before co-op and I had to beg my friend to bring some for the 38 or so kids that would be there. So toilet paper was a more than welcome sight. My kids excitedly showed me the other goodies a friend had left for me. They told me she was being very sneaky, but they saw who she was. Loads and loads of groceries that I know she would not buy for her own family because they are having such frugal times. So humbling. The next morning I got a text from another friend that she was bringing me some butter. We were not home until later that day so I gave her the garage code. We came home to even more treats, more abundance! I am still finding treasures since she is the one who put the things away. Last night I found bacon! We had BLT's for dinner, and they were delicious! I'm still getting teary when I think of my friends sacrificing their precious food budgets for me. Sunday night, when our tummies were full of BLT deliciousness, another friend stopped by who had cleared her meager pantry to bring abundance to me. Again, how could I accept it, but how could I not? The Lord had answered my prayers through these people and I knew he would bless them for it. The variety of treats she brought complimented the other gifts in such a lovely way. How did she know we needed chips to go with our homemade salsa? And yummy Nesquick for a delicious milky treat. We are feeling downright spoiled!
As wonderful a relief as the food is, it isn't about the food. It is about the Lord answering my prayer to let me know I will be cared for. One way or another, He will care for me. How humbled and grateful I am to know I have friends I can count on to be there for me and care for me. These are the kinds of miracles that only happen when things get hard. I testify that prayers are answered.
...
Toddler Testimony
This morning while Dallin was reading scriptures and the children were eating oatmeal, Sullivan heard the Lord's name mentioned and had something to say.
"Dad! Jesus gave his blood for me and you and Ruby and Daisy and Mom!"
He is two and a half now. We are amazed and delighted by how well he speaks. His sweet little testimony was sparked by his recent curiosity in the lullabyes I sing to him. It is so wonderful to hear his honest little questions. As I was singing "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing," He asked me about the "Ebeneezer" and later about "His Precious Blood". I'm touched that he remembered our conversation and felt a desire to share with Dad in our daily devotional.
I wonder how much more the mouth of that babe will reveal to us.
"Dad! Jesus gave his blood for me and you and Ruby and Daisy and Mom!"
He is two and a half now. We are amazed and delighted by how well he speaks. His sweet little testimony was sparked by his recent curiosity in the lullabyes I sing to him. It is so wonderful to hear his honest little questions. As I was singing "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing," He asked me about the "Ebeneezer" and later about "His Precious Blood". I'm touched that he remembered our conversation and felt a desire to share with Dad in our daily devotional.
I wonder how much more the mouth of that babe will reveal to us.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Picking Dinner
I've grown many gardens in my 17 years of marriage. There are very few of those years that I have not had at least a few squash and tomatoes to tend. Some years we have had beautiful large gardens with abundant harvests.
It is getting harder to grow a garden as my family grows and becomes more involved outside the home. There are years where I really don't even want to think about it. I was so sick this winter that I didn't even entertain the thought of starting seedlings. And the different climate in the foothills and the persistent deer problem has been incredibly discouraging since we moved here. But I knew I had to at least make an effort to do a garden.
I actually bought several plants, which I never do. I had to replant a few crops that were planted wrong or didn't come up. Thanks to our "back to eden" gardening method, I knew that if I got the plants to come up, I wouldn't have much work to do from then on. I actually bought poison to kill the squash bugs that infested our pumpkin patch last year. I have never done that, either. It was just such a stretch for me to extend myself to this growing project that I couldn't bear to see it eaten up.
Still, there were plenty of squash bugs. And the deer kept the peas, beans, and cabbage and a perfect 3" all summer long. I went out when I could to check on things, to pull a few weeds, trying not to despair at the destruction I saw.
But the raspberry crop was encouraging, despite the deer chewing every tender shoot that emerged. We had enough berries to enjoy a few delicious snacks. And you wouldn't believe how happy our blackberries were! Such enormous juicy berries we have been enjoying! While picking raspberries, I noticed a lot of leafy crowding in the cage where we had planted a blueberry bush a few years ago. I bought it on clearance and decided to give it a try. I was disappointed when we put it in the ground to read on the tag that it needed a pollinator. I never really got around to finding another blueberry bush so it was rather neglected. When I approached the cage where it was growing protected from the deer, I noticed a wild plum tree had sprung up next to it. I pulled out the weeds and yanked out the sapling to find that the blueberry bush was still alive. And then, miraculously, I saw berries! 3 or 4 greenish to dark blue berries ripening on the neglected branches. Hope. It filled me with hope that maybe my garden wouldn't be a complete failure after all.
By then end of August, the corn was looking lovely. It has looked lovely before and prodced nothing so I had my doubts. But I picked enough corn in that one picking to feed us 2 meals! I got two more pickings from that corn, and we enjoyed it so much!
Things were growing and looking okay, but nothing looked super abundant. But for the past several weeks, I have been incredibly thankful for my little sparse garden. A multitude of expenses hit us late in the summer, and we found ourselves with no grocery money for this month. We are pretty good at storing food so I knew we would be fine. But what a difference fresh produce makes! When you can slice fresh cucumbers that don't even need to be peeled and add them to a sack lunch it makes such a difference. We had giant carrots that were cut into sticks and diced into soups along with onions, a few green beans, and even some weeds that we learned were edible. Each evening as the tiredness of the day would hit me, I would feel a dread about the task of dinner that lay ahead. No pre-planned meals for us. But when I said a little prayer, without fail, something would come to my mind that I could do with what was ripe that day. We had some delicious meals! Zuchinni soup with fresh sourdough bread, lentil soup with lots of vegetables, weeds, and the small portion of sausage I found at the back of the freezer that added so much flavor, Fresh salsa with corn and cucumbers. Chicken noodle soup without the chicken (nobody noticed), Tomato and Cucumber salads with red onion and balsamic vinaigrette, it made our little harvest seem so abundant! I don't know that I have ever used and enjoyed a harvest like I did this year.
Picking dinner has made dinner preparations take so much longer. But I have enjoyed the time in the sun and the time in the rain, the time with my little ones picking by my side, the smell of tomato vines and the stiff scratch of corn leaves. The miracle of the food in my hand that began as a seed in the dirt. The dirt and worms and bugs and using every cutting board in the house because everybody wants to help cut vegetables.
There is so much more to reap from the law of the harvest than a bit of food. I'm so glad I planted.
...
It is getting harder to grow a garden as my family grows and becomes more involved outside the home. There are years where I really don't even want to think about it. I was so sick this winter that I didn't even entertain the thought of starting seedlings. And the different climate in the foothills and the persistent deer problem has been incredibly discouraging since we moved here. But I knew I had to at least make an effort to do a garden.
I actually bought several plants, which I never do. I had to replant a few crops that were planted wrong or didn't come up. Thanks to our "back to eden" gardening method, I knew that if I got the plants to come up, I wouldn't have much work to do from then on. I actually bought poison to kill the squash bugs that infested our pumpkin patch last year. I have never done that, either. It was just such a stretch for me to extend myself to this growing project that I couldn't bear to see it eaten up.
Still, there were plenty of squash bugs. And the deer kept the peas, beans, and cabbage and a perfect 3" all summer long. I went out when I could to check on things, to pull a few weeds, trying not to despair at the destruction I saw.
But the raspberry crop was encouraging, despite the deer chewing every tender shoot that emerged. We had enough berries to enjoy a few delicious snacks. And you wouldn't believe how happy our blackberries were! Such enormous juicy berries we have been enjoying! While picking raspberries, I noticed a lot of leafy crowding in the cage where we had planted a blueberry bush a few years ago. I bought it on clearance and decided to give it a try. I was disappointed when we put it in the ground to read on the tag that it needed a pollinator. I never really got around to finding another blueberry bush so it was rather neglected. When I approached the cage where it was growing protected from the deer, I noticed a wild plum tree had sprung up next to it. I pulled out the weeds and yanked out the sapling to find that the blueberry bush was still alive. And then, miraculously, I saw berries! 3 or 4 greenish to dark blue berries ripening on the neglected branches. Hope. It filled me with hope that maybe my garden wouldn't be a complete failure after all.
By then end of August, the corn was looking lovely. It has looked lovely before and prodced nothing so I had my doubts. But I picked enough corn in that one picking to feed us 2 meals! I got two more pickings from that corn, and we enjoyed it so much!
Things were growing and looking okay, but nothing looked super abundant. But for the past several weeks, I have been incredibly thankful for my little sparse garden. A multitude of expenses hit us late in the summer, and we found ourselves with no grocery money for this month. We are pretty good at storing food so I knew we would be fine. But what a difference fresh produce makes! When you can slice fresh cucumbers that don't even need to be peeled and add them to a sack lunch it makes such a difference. We had giant carrots that were cut into sticks and diced into soups along with onions, a few green beans, and even some weeds that we learned were edible. Each evening as the tiredness of the day would hit me, I would feel a dread about the task of dinner that lay ahead. No pre-planned meals for us. But when I said a little prayer, without fail, something would come to my mind that I could do with what was ripe that day. We had some delicious meals! Zuchinni soup with fresh sourdough bread, lentil soup with lots of vegetables, weeds, and the small portion of sausage I found at the back of the freezer that added so much flavor, Fresh salsa with corn and cucumbers. Chicken noodle soup without the chicken (nobody noticed), Tomato and Cucumber salads with red onion and balsamic vinaigrette, it made our little harvest seem so abundant! I don't know that I have ever used and enjoyed a harvest like I did this year.
Picking dinner has made dinner preparations take so much longer. But I have enjoyed the time in the sun and the time in the rain, the time with my little ones picking by my side, the smell of tomato vines and the stiff scratch of corn leaves. The miracle of the food in my hand that began as a seed in the dirt. The dirt and worms and bugs and using every cutting board in the house because everybody wants to help cut vegetables.
There is so much more to reap from the law of the harvest than a bit of food. I'm so glad I planted.
...
Friday, September 5, 2014
Summer Reflections
Late in July, a friend asked me what I was currently working on in my personal life. I had to stop and think. A question I could normally answer readily with quite a list left me stumped.
"I am........resting," I said.
My life during last school year was pretty intense. We had a lot of great stuff going on. And I had chronic sinus infections all winter and into spring. When I was driving home from Shakespeare Showdown, something happened. I was driving a van full of kids home from Heber and my mind started to go foggy. I could tell a supreme headache was coming on in spite of the rare caffeinated drink I had just guzzled. By the time we got to Spanish Fork, I was making wrong turns and feeling completely miserable. By the time I got home, I was in full crash mode. That is not a great way to greet your kids who haven't seen you for 3 days. I faked it just long enough to unload the van and greet the kids. My neighbor Pam called and asked if I liked Curry and told me she had made dinner. I just cannot believe how serendipitous that was! It was exactly what I needed! I went to bed and felt much better. But I was still having the symptoms of dizziness and foggy brain and headaches into the next week. My body was just done. It was time for a rest.
So I rested this summer. And I needed it.
If you looked at my June calendar, you would probably not say that it was restful, but it was. I was home a lot. I played with my kids and sort of cleaned and sort of cooked. I didn't work on any of the big summer projects I want to do. I sort of kept my garden alive, but it mostly grew itself. I went to park days and had a wonderful, relaxing time getting to know so many new homeschoolers. Dallin was busy finishing his ESL endorsement class. The boys spent a weekend at Youth Conference and a week at Timberline. They had a great time at both. Nathan got his drivers license on his birthday so we enjoyed having an extra driver. We spent a few days in Idaho just relaxing with Grandma and Grandpa and cousins. Brandon did a few days of ballroom dance camp, which he loved. He also took several art lessons throughout the summer. We participated in our City Celebration with a parade, movie in the park, fireman's breakfast, and fair. Sarajoy turned 5. We were plenty busy, but I think I was just thriving on not being in charge of so much.
I was in charge of something pretty big in July: my family reunion! It was wonderful, though. We had everyone stay here, either in tents, trailers, or guest beds. 46 people in all! The only ones missing were our 2 missionaries and our army guy. It was pretty special to share our place with the people we love the most. On the way to the reunion, my mom was in a rollover accident with 3 of the grandkids, including Simon. We are so sure that they were watched out for by angels. Nobody was hurt, other than a few scratches. Such a blessing to have them here safely. It was very sobering to hear of the accident and know I couldn't be with Simon to help him feel calm. Thankfully he was with my mom.
Nathan got a job in a cherry factory working from 7pm to 5am. It was such a blessing that the kid across the street had the same shift so they could drive together. It was a really important experience for him. He hated it, but he loved earning so much money in such a short amount of time. He also learned that he will be happy with just about any other job. And he hates cherries. He was lifting about 36,000lbs a night! We were all glad when that was over because it was really hard having him on such an odd schedule, but there are no regrets.
We spent a rather miserable day at a lake with some of Dallin's co-workers. They were so nice, but I was still not really functioning well, it rained, there were not great accomodations for little kids, etc. Dallin and I had a long talk about whether such outings are even worth the trouble. They usually are, but we need to be careful to remember the wide age range we're dealing with. Ruby turned 12 (wow!) and left for girls' camp the next day. When she got back, we celebrated her and Sarajoy's birthdays with a horseback riding adventure. Simon was purely miserable with hives and wheezing. He apparently has a severe horse allergy. But Ruby and I were in heaven! I have never been horseback riding like that, where I could actually learn to control the animal. We were playing soccer on the horses! It was amazingly therapeutic for me. I did not want to stop. I think Ruby and I kept going for almost an hour after everyone else had gone back to the car. I had no idea I would love that so much! We had our friends the Mussers over from Missouri for a couple of days. That was special catching up time! Then Ruby and I went on a Do-It-Yourself EFY retreat with some of our homeschooling friends and their moms. It was so much fun! It was so great to have a closer bond with my own friends as well as the girls. It is special to get to spend some time where I can just focus on the older kids without distraction. A couple of us had our husbands and kids join us for a night after the crowd left, and we really enjoyed the amazing cabin we were blessed to stay in.
In August, I always panic a little because I know I have just a little time to get ready for school. I was still keeping things pretty restful, but trying to fit in some planning/organizing/decluttering to get us ready for a new school year. I was beginning to perk up from my crash, and starting to feel excited about plans for our school year. We went to Island Park for the 3rd year in a row. We stayed longer than we have ever been able to before. Dallin and the boys hiked Table Rock next to the Tetons. We got to go up into Yellowstone and see some hot pots and watch Old Faithful. Everyone's hearts were warmed by the cuteness of Sulley and his cousin Kenyon playing together. They can both talk so well that it is just amazing the things they come up with. We drove straight from Island Park to Las Vegas. It was crazy, but we decided to go through the night. We were feeling an urgency to get there and be with the family we have been feeling prompted to be with all summer. It turned out just perfectly! Brandon was able to help with Jimmy's Eagle project. We got to see our friends the Wells in their new house with their brand new baby! We got to spend some good time with Dallin's family as well. It was a whirlwind trip. We got there early Saturday morning and left Sunday afternoon, but it worked out just how it was supposed to. We stretched out the good times by splitting up so Dallin and Kevin Crandall could visit on the way home in one car while Karami and I were in another. The trip flew by that way! Dallin was back to work the next day and Nathan started school on Tuesday. I still gave myself another couple of weeks to prepare, and I still felt completely pulled under when we started on Sept. 2nd. We spent Labor Day weekend in Idaho packing in another few days of important events. We stayed Friday night at the Avenius home after celebrating the marriage of their son Jacob. He was one of Dallin's first scouts when we lived in New York. It was wonderful to see how happy Joan and Catherine are and fun to get reacquainted with Jacob and meet his new bride and her parents. The next day was spent in Shelley with the Crandalls helping them put a roof on their addition. We got to my parents' house late that night and spent Sunday and Monday with my family, helping wrap up Grandpa's honey extracting experience. It was a great way to end the summer: being with people we love. I am so grateful to be cared for by such amazing people.
It was a great summer! I don't regret the slow mornings or the evenings chatting with the older kids. I don't even regret watching a few movies and just relaxing instead of worrying about projects. We ate a lot of cold cereal and we laughed and smiled a lot. I grew closer to Nathan than I have felt in awhile because he was home with us so much! I feel renewed and ready to launch into the next great adventure!
"I am........resting," I said.
My life during last school year was pretty intense. We had a lot of great stuff going on. And I had chronic sinus infections all winter and into spring. When I was driving home from Shakespeare Showdown, something happened. I was driving a van full of kids home from Heber and my mind started to go foggy. I could tell a supreme headache was coming on in spite of the rare caffeinated drink I had just guzzled. By the time we got to Spanish Fork, I was making wrong turns and feeling completely miserable. By the time I got home, I was in full crash mode. That is not a great way to greet your kids who haven't seen you for 3 days. I faked it just long enough to unload the van and greet the kids. My neighbor Pam called and asked if I liked Curry and told me she had made dinner. I just cannot believe how serendipitous that was! It was exactly what I needed! I went to bed and felt much better. But I was still having the symptoms of dizziness and foggy brain and headaches into the next week. My body was just done. It was time for a rest.
So I rested this summer. And I needed it.
If you looked at my June calendar, you would probably not say that it was restful, but it was. I was home a lot. I played with my kids and sort of cleaned and sort of cooked. I didn't work on any of the big summer projects I want to do. I sort of kept my garden alive, but it mostly grew itself. I went to park days and had a wonderful, relaxing time getting to know so many new homeschoolers. Dallin was busy finishing his ESL endorsement class. The boys spent a weekend at Youth Conference and a week at Timberline. They had a great time at both. Nathan got his drivers license on his birthday so we enjoyed having an extra driver. We spent a few days in Idaho just relaxing with Grandma and Grandpa and cousins. Brandon did a few days of ballroom dance camp, which he loved. He also took several art lessons throughout the summer. We participated in our City Celebration with a parade, movie in the park, fireman's breakfast, and fair. Sarajoy turned 5. We were plenty busy, but I think I was just thriving on not being in charge of so much.
I was in charge of something pretty big in July: my family reunion! It was wonderful, though. We had everyone stay here, either in tents, trailers, or guest beds. 46 people in all! The only ones missing were our 2 missionaries and our army guy. It was pretty special to share our place with the people we love the most. On the way to the reunion, my mom was in a rollover accident with 3 of the grandkids, including Simon. We are so sure that they were watched out for by angels. Nobody was hurt, other than a few scratches. Such a blessing to have them here safely. It was very sobering to hear of the accident and know I couldn't be with Simon to help him feel calm. Thankfully he was with my mom.
Nathan got a job in a cherry factory working from 7pm to 5am. It was such a blessing that the kid across the street had the same shift so they could drive together. It was a really important experience for him. He hated it, but he loved earning so much money in such a short amount of time. He also learned that he will be happy with just about any other job. And he hates cherries. He was lifting about 36,000lbs a night! We were all glad when that was over because it was really hard having him on such an odd schedule, but there are no regrets.
We spent a rather miserable day at a lake with some of Dallin's co-workers. They were so nice, but I was still not really functioning well, it rained, there were not great accomodations for little kids, etc. Dallin and I had a long talk about whether such outings are even worth the trouble. They usually are, but we need to be careful to remember the wide age range we're dealing with. Ruby turned 12 (wow!) and left for girls' camp the next day. When she got back, we celebrated her and Sarajoy's birthdays with a horseback riding adventure. Simon was purely miserable with hives and wheezing. He apparently has a severe horse allergy. But Ruby and I were in heaven! I have never been horseback riding like that, where I could actually learn to control the animal. We were playing soccer on the horses! It was amazingly therapeutic for me. I did not want to stop. I think Ruby and I kept going for almost an hour after everyone else had gone back to the car. I had no idea I would love that so much! We had our friends the Mussers over from Missouri for a couple of days. That was special catching up time! Then Ruby and I went on a Do-It-Yourself EFY retreat with some of our homeschooling friends and their moms. It was so much fun! It was so great to have a closer bond with my own friends as well as the girls. It is special to get to spend some time where I can just focus on the older kids without distraction. A couple of us had our husbands and kids join us for a night after the crowd left, and we really enjoyed the amazing cabin we were blessed to stay in.
In August, I always panic a little because I know I have just a little time to get ready for school. I was still keeping things pretty restful, but trying to fit in some planning/organizing/decluttering to get us ready for a new school year. I was beginning to perk up from my crash, and starting to feel excited about plans for our school year. We went to Island Park for the 3rd year in a row. We stayed longer than we have ever been able to before. Dallin and the boys hiked Table Rock next to the Tetons. We got to go up into Yellowstone and see some hot pots and watch Old Faithful. Everyone's hearts were warmed by the cuteness of Sulley and his cousin Kenyon playing together. They can both talk so well that it is just amazing the things they come up with. We drove straight from Island Park to Las Vegas. It was crazy, but we decided to go through the night. We were feeling an urgency to get there and be with the family we have been feeling prompted to be with all summer. It turned out just perfectly! Brandon was able to help with Jimmy's Eagle project. We got to see our friends the Wells in their new house with their brand new baby! We got to spend some good time with Dallin's family as well. It was a whirlwind trip. We got there early Saturday morning and left Sunday afternoon, but it worked out just how it was supposed to. We stretched out the good times by splitting up so Dallin and Kevin Crandall could visit on the way home in one car while Karami and I were in another. The trip flew by that way! Dallin was back to work the next day and Nathan started school on Tuesday. I still gave myself another couple of weeks to prepare, and I still felt completely pulled under when we started on Sept. 2nd. We spent Labor Day weekend in Idaho packing in another few days of important events. We stayed Friday night at the Avenius home after celebrating the marriage of their son Jacob. He was one of Dallin's first scouts when we lived in New York. It was wonderful to see how happy Joan and Catherine are and fun to get reacquainted with Jacob and meet his new bride and her parents. The next day was spent in Shelley with the Crandalls helping them put a roof on their addition. We got to my parents' house late that night and spent Sunday and Monday with my family, helping wrap up Grandpa's honey extracting experience. It was a great way to end the summer: being with people we love. I am so grateful to be cared for by such amazing people.
It was a great summer! I don't regret the slow mornings or the evenings chatting with the older kids. I don't even regret watching a few movies and just relaxing instead of worrying about projects. We ate a lot of cold cereal and we laughed and smiled a lot. I grew closer to Nathan than I have felt in awhile because he was home with us so much! I feel renewed and ready to launch into the next great adventure!
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