So I won't Forget

Cosleeping.

Its one of those love-hate things for me.

I SWORE before I had kids that they would NEVER sleep in my bed!

So for a few months while Nathan slept with me I was SO frustrated.  I was hanging on to that "never".
Thankfully, I didn't mind so much during the day.  We had lots of cuddly naps together.  Nurse, read, and sleep.  That was my life.  I felt So busy!  How funny that seems now.

Brandon was another story.  Not the great sleeper that Nathan was, I would have given anything for Brandon to curl up with me in bed and nurse to sleep.  We eventually discovered that not only did he need his own bed, he needed his own room!  So I didn't sleep with Brandon much.

Ruby was a super sleeper.  I adored every minute I spent with her as an infant.  Even at night I felt like it was a privilege to pull her into bed with me and nurse her back to sleep.  We started working her into her own bed around her first birthday.  When she would wake up at night, she wouldn't cry.  She'd just sweetly say, "ma?"  If I didn't respond, she'd say it more.  "ma?  ma?  Ma?  MA?"  I couldn't resist.  So I'd get up and nurse her and put her back in bed.

I think Daisy would be happy to still be nursing.  That girl wanted to be attached to me at all times.  She pretty much was.  When I could no longer stand her thrashing me all night, I moved her into her own bed.  So Nathan would climb in with her to help her go to sleep.  I would go in and nurse her every couple of hours all night long until she was nearly two.  I stayed that night with her in her bed.  The night I weaned her cold turkey.  We snuggled and talked and cried together.  The next night and mostly since then she has slept through the night.

Why don't I remember sleeping with Simon?  He was more like Brandon.  Not much of a snuggler.  He didn't like nursing, either.  Went on strike for 2 whole months from 4-6 months old.  I pumped faithfully.  But I think he always slept in his own bed.  Maybe we had a nap or two together.  He quit nursing completely before he was a year old, and started sleeping through the night soon after that.

Sarajoy has been a roller coaster.  Sometimes she loves to cosleep, other times she can't stand it.  She was sleeping pretty well in her bed for awhile, and then she just stopped.  Then Simon started waking a lot at night as well.  So Sarajoy and I sleep in my bed while Dallin sleeps on the guest bed in Simon's room.

Cosleeping is HARD for me.  I don't really like having to sleep in one position all night.  I like to sleep on my stomach sometimes, I don't like to be kicked and pushed, and I don't like worrying about the baby tumbling off the bed.

But there is something so deliciously warm and wonderful about a chubby baby clad in a terry sleeper that is just irresistible!  And the sweet dried milk on her round rosy cheeks--Yummy.

So when Sarajoy wakes up at night, I have mixed feelings.  I mostly want her to go back to sleep in her bed and let me be.

But I usually smile as we snuggle down together, her little body fitting snugly up against mine.

See you in the morning, Dallin....


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