Thank You!

Thank you for caring and wondering and thinking about me this week!  I feel so loved and supported by the comments and phone calls I have receieved.  I am so blessed! 

Today has been better, though it might just be because I got to do some Christmas shopping today, and I LOVE Christmas!  Coming home to the girls telling me they have no  homework was also a plus.  Dallin getting home early was a big plus.  I feel like there is hope for us to have some enjoyable family time after all!  The kids just tied a bunch of animals to our wooden train to make a big sleigh and flew it through the house.  Simon and Sarajoy are in heaven to have their playmates back.  Sarajoy stood by the window calling for Ruby and Daisy for 15 minutes today.  I finally had to offer her some chocolate chips to distract her.  She was not happy about the news that they were at school. 

I've gotten some ideas about supplements to try to help me with my pregnancy woes, so hopefully that will help me be a little more productive and less restless.

I also felt inspired to include some more personal details about our decision to put the kids in public school.  I wrote them in answer to a previous comment, but felt I should include them here after I sent the response. 

I am learning that what I believe in as a parent is to follow the Spirit. How many times have I learned about this or that philosophy/method, etc. only to have the Spirit guide me another way? Many. Even the ones I felt the Spirit guiding me to in the first place. Often it is a lesson in humility. Often I need to be reminded what the ultimate "right" really is. I have said before that the only reason I would stop home schooling is if the Lord told me not to, but I never really believed He would. How would that ever be the "right" thing?

We were not praying about whether our kids should go to school or not. Though the thought often crosses my mind, I didn't really consider it an option. It always made more sense to keep them home.

We've been concerned about our relationship with our oldest for several months. A comment he made to his friends left me with a very heavy feeling. I couldn't shake the feeling all day that something was wrong . When I really got down to thinking about it, I couldn't stop. I was awake for hours that night, and thought about it all day the next day while I waited for my husband to get home.

I was pretty horrified at the conclusion I had come to by the end of all of that thinking. It wasn't until my husband explained that he had set a goal (days? weeks?) beforeto pray for 30 minutes a day about our kids that I started to feel peace, like it really was an answer. He felt that way the whole time I was talking to him.

It settled in on me that our family needed this experience. That is the only "why" I have so far. I can think of possibilities, but we'll see how it plays out.  The favorite one that has been suggested to me is that there might be people out there who need my kids.  I think that is such a lovely thought. 

I still feel like my mind and heart want them home. It makes so much more sense, it is our lifestyle.
But I cannot doubt that it is right, and so we'll make the best of it. It is hard to not know how temporary or permanent of a change it is, but that is a part of going forward with faith.