I thought I had already made my big announcement for the year. The one that makes everyone gasp.
And we've been having such a great year.
So I don't really know why this is happening.
I've spent the past 4 days thinking, crying, wondering, planning.
I keep thinking I'll wake up and find it was all just a strange dream.
There are times when I feel like a part of me is dying or like my whole world is changing.
When you've put your heart and soul and time and money into something for 7 years, it is hard to accept inspiration that takes your family in a new direction. Even when you know it is right.
I don't really know why except that Dallin and I both feel like it is the right thing for our family right now.
Maybe the Lord is preparing us for something that is coming.
Maybe my little ones need the time with Mommy before the baby comes.
Maybe my older kids need to understand what they feel like they're missing out on.
Maybe the whole family needs to have the experience so we really know what we're choosing between.
It still just doesn't seem like it can possibly be real. I dreaded today of all days because I had to tell my wonderful co-op friends what is going on. Now that that ordeal is over, I think I can let the peace settle in.
I think I'll be able to sleep tonight. I think I'll be able to allow myself to be excited about the adventure.
Relieved that I don't have to compete with "Disneyland" anymore.
They don't know what they're missing, so they think it must be something pretty wonderful.
Maybe it will be. I don't even really know.
Maybe the reality will finally sink in on Monday, November 28th when I watch them board the school bus for the first time, ever.
I can hardly wait to sit in my front room window with Simon and Sarajoy and watch for that bus to bring them back home to us.
..
Oh, my! That is a big, giant, gasp-worthy announcement! I hope it is one that will bring joy to your lives!
ReplyDeleteHow strange! How interesting! I can understand how dazed and confused that would be. I'm glad though that you and Dallin know how to recognize the right things for you and your family to do and that you do them. You probably won't know why until later down the road and then you'll be glad for the experience. But how strange it will be at first!
ReplyDeleteWOW!! That is a big change for you guys. How do your kids feel about it? I homeschooled for one semester with my kids and it was bitter-sweet when I sent them back to school, so I can only imagine how hard this is going to be for you. You're a pretty tough cookie though and I have no doubt that you will still find ways to do what you do best!!
ReplyDeleteWow, lady! My heart is breaking a little for you, just because it hurts mine every year to send mine off to school. I, however, know that I am not cut out to home school and have always thought that you and Darlene are both amazing to be able to do so! anyway... Heavenly Father definitely knows what is best for us. What an awesome Daughter of His you are to have the faith to follow counsel that you may not understand at this time. I know you will be blessed for doing so. You are such an awesome mom.
ReplyDeleteYou are the true heart and spirit of motherhood. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteI think about homeschooling a lot off and on. It seems like something I would enjoy doing...sometimes:) But in the end I know in my heart that for right now He is supposed to be in school. Maybe someday I will do it.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't feel like people will think you are giving up on something you were once passionate about. It is obvious that your passion is your family and the gospel and I admire so much how you follow the promptings you are given. You are and will be blessed for it. And so will your family.
Sarah, what a hard week it must have been to make such a life changing decision. I think it is wonderful that you are following what you feel is right for your family. You did that homeschooling and you are doing that now public schooling. I'm praying for you and wishing your family the best in their new schooling adventure!
ReplyDeleteSarah, I cannot believe it. I can understand it. I just went out with a group of ladies a week or so ago, some who have home schooled and then sent the kids back. Some who have done the opposite. Some who home school a few children and not others.
ReplyDeleteIt will be a big transition, I'm sure, but following inspiration is in and of itself a blessing, isn't it? And change can be wonderful.
I hope it all goes well tomorrow for everyone. The toddlers who will wonder where everybody is but who will enjoy having their Mom all to themselves. For you, who will gestate probably much more easily over the next few weeks as your personal work load will diminish. For your kids who will be joining their peers during a glorious holiday time at school filled with such fun.
Good luck. I cannot wait to read your next post.