I blundered through the week after Spring Break and decided I really did need to give myself a break.
I decided to have a week of doing things that fill my tank.
I slept in each morning until the baby awoke--guilt free!
I read and prayed and studied longer than usual.
I decided to play the piano one day, and ended up at the piano for an hour and a half! I was able to dust off the Maple Leaf Rag and make some progress on that tricky 3rd section.
(Something about having a real piano--the one I grew up playing--in my home has made my piano playing skills improve dramatically lately. Or maybe it was the exercise of writing an arrangement to a favorite family song that helped me understand the music on a deeper level. Whatever it was, it has been really fun! )
I still kept appointments, did laundry, and fed people.
In fact, I realized I wasn't really doing much less than what I normally do.
I was just enjoying it more because I was choosing it instead of imposing it upon myself.
I found that what I really needed a break from was my expectations.
As much as I am trying to be content with my current pace, I still get antsy to do more. I know there are things getting left out that seem really important!
I know that striving to be better is a good thing!
So I still lay the expectations on pretty heavily some days.
It seems like I've been in this "season" forever!
But the things I am getting better at are less measurable than hours slept, pounds lost, home repairs finished, yard work done, books read to kids, tasks accomplished.
How do you measure the effort it takes and the progress made
Casting of fear
Casting off pride
Being a light to others
Being content with what is allotted unto me
Being thankful in all things, including my trials
Staying calm in the face of intense emotion
Disciplining out of love instead of control
Living joyfully in spite of external circumstances?
So I am grateful to have given myself a week off from expectations and guilt.
Hopefully it will last longer than a week!
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Sarah, I just love this--I need to learn to take a break from my own expectations too. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI hope it will last forever!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's why I changed Mother's Day this year. Instead of waiting around for my family to tell me I'm wonderful and pamper me, I chose to get up early and make the day special for them and thank them for the privilege it is for me to be the mother of our home. I made special meals, wrote special letters, and had a mother who would have otherwise been alone that day over for dinner. It was my best Mother's Day ever--I imagine because I chose to serve.