His Name

Though I have settled into an acceptance and excitement about our baby boy, it has still been different.  I have longed to feel more connected to him and to know him better.  I have hoped and prayed that we might learn his name soon to help with the connection and the excitement. 

Dallin and I talked about names on and off.  I thought of how much I liked the sound of Orion and how it is similar to my grandfather's middle name, Orien.  Dallin still liked the name Franklin, and I was willing to go with it since he has been outvoted on that one before.  It is not a name I love.  I really wanted this baby to have a name I LOVE.  We have had a few of our kids' names picked out early and there was just a wonderful feeling that the name was perfect!  That is what I was hoping for.  I didn't have that feeling about either of those names, but we were still thinking that it would probably be one of them since nothing else had come up. 

One evening he told me how he had been thinking about how neat it would be to come upon a name that expressed some meaning for the phase of life we are in.  He was reading the scriptures and was very surprised to come across a name.  Most people would be surprised to know that the name comes from the scriptures.  We have heard it a few times, but it has been spelled differently.  He shared the story with me and read it from the scriptures.  The story and meaning were perfect, but I did not love the name.  We talked about it some, and I got the feeling he was unsure about the name as well, so I started looking for names more in earnest.  When he saw what I was up to, he said, "anything but that, huh?"  I realized that he was more serious about the name than I thought.  I realized that he was done looking for a name and that I'd probably better get used to it.  I got to pick Sullivan's name after all.  I didn't want to make him feel bad, so I accepted it and went up to bed. 

But I lay there feeling disappointed.  I wanted it to be a name that had that "perfect" feeling to it. I didn't want one more thing to "get used to".  Once again I found myself feeling foolish and trying to get a grip.  I was trying to hide the fact that I was crying, but Dallin figured me out.  I wouldn't tell him what was wrong, but he figured that out, too.  He was loving and understanding and not hurt by my silliness.  We had a good talk about it and felt that it was indeed the right name. 

And I am getting used to it.  A couple of days later I told the older kids and they were really excited.  That made me feel better.  Then I got the courage to say it out loud to some friends.  I knew we still needed a middle name, and I was a bit stumped on that one.  Dallin's grandpa's middle name is Jasper, which I think is pretty cool, but my kids insisted he would be made fun of.  Plus our boys all have names from Dallin's side except Simon, and I wanted to think of a name from my side of the family.  It was a bit startling to realize that there wasn't a lot to go from.  Simon is named after my dad and I never knew either of my grandfathers.  I still know they were good men, but it seemed strange to not know the person I was naming a child after.  As I was falling asleep one night and wondering about it, I thought of my great uncle.  I was very close to my dad's mom.  I spent a lot of time reading with her and eventually caring for her as she got older.  She has been on my mind a lot this past year.  I had even thought of using her name as a middle name for a girl.  Her brother was a bright spot in my childhood.  I loved it when he and his wife would come for a visit.  I remember how much he enjoyed us kids, and that he took us swimming at his hotel once and got right in the water and played with us!  As he got older and sicker, I still enjoyed visiting his home in Burley.  I always felt love from him and realized that he is as much of a grandfather figure as I ever knew.  And as I dozed off that night, I remembered that he had no children of his own.  I smiled thinking that he would appreciate having somebody named after him.  That name was "perfect".

I found myself being more excited after that.  And the meaning of the name truly is significant.  Corban Royal is a special name.  In the Bible, Corban is the title given to something that has been set aside for a sacred purpose, a gift to God.  It is a perfect tribute to this precious phase in our lives when we are learning to work together to consecrate and dedicate our lives to the Lord.  And He has blessed us so much for our efforts!  Our life as a family is truly a beautiful thing.  The name is also meaningful because as large as our family is, we don't feel like we "need" more children!  We have opened our hearts and our home to this child because we love God and want to share our family with as many of His precious children as we can.  We certainly want this baby as much as any of them, but our motives have shifted.  And isn't it interesting that our first son is named Nathan?  They could very likely share a birthday as well.  Nathan means "given of God" or "gift from God".  I think that is a pretty beautiful idea.  Uncle Royal's name could have been anything, and I still would have liked it because of him.  But Royal is such a meaningful name!  It is a prince that I carry, and I can not wait to meet him. 

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