Everything is Fine

But I am lonely. 

I'm ready to have my family all home all together.

Nathan left this morning for Youth Conference and he'll go straight from there to Leadership Training. 

Still 2 more days without Dallin and Brandon. 

Waaah.

Coping

Finished putting wood chips on the garden.

Sullivan's having spells of inconsolable fussiness.  What else can I do?  I just hold him.

Reading the historical fiction series based on my ancestors.

Teaching Simon and Sarajoy how to do chore charts. 

Chewing ice faster than my fridge can produce it.

Introduced my girls to the movie Pollyanna.  They loved it!  So did I!

Lots of popcorn to go with it.

Nathan's stepping up as man of the family.  Too old for Scout Camp already?

Mysterious lumps on Daisy's jaw and neck.  Dr. says "just a virus"

Sullivan's head beginning to look misshapen.  He laughs out loud while the chiropractor adjusts.

Stop by Darlene's new house so I can see it and she can see the baby.  Wonderful visit.

Laundry is s l o w l y getting folded.

A movie with Nathan in my room.  We share crunch berries after the kids are asleep.

Sulley fussy again tonight.  The sling works its magic.

Praying for strength and feeling it.  Asking for guidance and getting it.

Stayin up late to read or write so I don't have time to worry or be afraid or remember that I miss my man.
..

Scout Camp Widow

Yeah, he's gone.

Again. 

He reminded me that there were 2 years in Spanish Fork that they only had 1 boy and didn't go to Scout Camp, but had he gone those years, this would be his 11th straight year. 

Not that I'm complaining...

My wonderful bishop asked me a couple of weeks ago if I ever felt resentful about the time consuming nature of my husband's calling. 

Have I Ever!

Yes, I have.  But I've gotten better at it over the years.  I know that his calling has brought blessings upon our family. 
His job gives him lots of time for Scouts, but not a ton of money. 
But I believe that the money has worked out for us in part because of the time we've given to Scouts. 
It is still hard to have him gone, and hard to lose him for the days of preparation before.

I was so glad the bishop asked. 
It meant a lot to me that he would understand such a thing.
I'm sure his wife does!
But it also gave me the chance to reflect on something wonderful that has happened.

Scout outings used to be hard for me.
It was hard to be alone at night.  I get scared easily.
It seemed like something major was bound to go wrong whenever he was gone:  stomach flu, basement flooding, major appliance breakdown, closing on a house, etc.
It felt like he was choosing his calling over me during times when I really needed him. 
I'd get upset and feel this huge burden and watch the clock for the hour when he said he'd be home and then get more upset when they were late. 
(I know, I'm a big baby!)
I've gotten used to or learned to cope with all of these things, but talking with the bishop reminded me that

Scout outings are still hard for me.
But only because I really really miss spending time with my best friend. 
I don't like to be away from him because I don't feel whole without him. 
The hours after the kids are in bed and Dallin and I get to hang out are a precious part of every day. 
I look forward to it all day long.
I just miss him.

And it actually makes me smile to miss him like that. 
I'm pretty lucky.

...

Another Super Day

Having company always makes for a great start. 

But we actually woke up because my alarm was going off on my phone.  Dallin woke me and asked if I needed to pick up my Bountiful Basket. 

Even though I told him no and tried to go back to sleep, he wouldn't stop talking. 
We had a nice, long, uninterrupted conversation until we heard movement in the kitchen.

I made german pancakes while I talked to my dad and my mom and my neices.  We gave Brandon some welcome home gifts.  I really missed that guy! 

All too soon, it was time to wave them on their way to Las Vegas for Tanner's graduation. 

But then I got a nap while Dallin prepared for Scout camp.

And we were off to celebrate Nathan's birthday (again) with Brandon in tow.  For his family activity he wanted to try out the new trampoline park Hang Time.  I had a half off coupon. 

At first I was a little concerned that we had paid for 2 hours.  There wasn't much else to do besides jump on trampolines. 

But I forgot how much little kids like to repeat things. 
I had so much fun watching my little (and big) ones bounce and flip and slide and jump. 
Once Simon caught a glimpse of the high platform jump into the foam pit, he wouldn't leave that spot for nearly an hour! 
He did a trick where he'd run up the slanted tramp, do a somersault, and slide down head first on his back. 
Sarajoy was so carefree as she'd run and jump into the foam.  Pure bliss!
The whole family was completely worn out!

Not knowing exactly what was in store, I purchased a pass for myself.  Just to "get my money's worth", I had Simon hold my phone while I jumped into the foam. 
It was fun.
It was VERY hard to climb out.
My body's still pretty fragile since Sullivan's birth, so I thought it best to keep it at just the one jump.

I swear we don't usually eat out this much.  It was a weird (but lovely) week. 
We tried a new place in town that does wraps.  Empty.  Quiet. Delicious. Priceless.
They even had a little play area for the kids. 

Baths and bedtime and then Dallin and I took off on our weekly date to get raw milk.
We were SO tired.
A trip or two to Wal Mart for last minute Scout Stuff.
On our final trip we drove away at 11:58 pm.  Almost Sunday, but not quite.

This really is the good life!

...

Daisy's Questions

When you want a baby do you just ask for one, or do you have to do something?

I just can't stop wondering about it.  If you have a mom and she has a mom, who was the first mom?

and

How do you get freckles?


I just love that these questions all came out during the same conversation.  One didn't seem more important than another. 

Funny that I had the least information about freckles...

So so thankful that I had a rare half hour to spend just talking with her and answering questions. 

...

Alas! Opposition in All Things

Especially Family Outings...

We tried again on Monday.
It was our first day of trying out our new Summer Schedule.
We did pretty well.  Dallin doesn't work on Mondays in the summer. 
We got up early and exercised--well, I stretched and listened to conference in the kitchen while Dal, Nate, and Ruby went running at the park.
For breakfast we had leftover pancakes from Sunday dinner while Dad read scriptures.
We headed out to work in the yard for an hour or so.
We came in for chore time.  Everyone worked relatively cheerfully.
We had lunch and quiet reading time while Dallin took Ruby and Nathan to the dentist.
So far, So good.

Dallin came back with the news that Nathan will need root canals after all. (He knocked his 2 front teeth in several weeks ago.  The dentist put them back in place and they were looking pretty good for awhile.  Not so now.)
We gathered things together to go use our "Pass Of All Passes" at the local water park.  We had purchased the passes online for only $10 each to get us in to several fun local places for a year.  We figured at that price, the places would be crowded but we'd deal with it.  We're just getting to be too many in number to afford to do much like that now. 
The kids got restless while I dug through a mountain of clean laundry to find swimsuits, etc.
We finally got on the road over an hour later than planned. 
Then we missed the exit because of construction.
And the next exit was closed.
So 20 minutes later we were finally off the freeway and backtracking to the water park. 
Then we waited in a line of cars in the parking lot for a half hour.
Same in the line to get in.  We all had to get permanent passes with our photos and so did everyone else in line. 
Then there was waiting for the last few of us to get sunscreen on and blow up the floaties since we forgot the air pump. 
Mercifully, little Sullivan nursed and I carried him in the wrap protected from the 100 degree sun.  He fussed a little when we got in the water, but slept for most of the time so my hands were free to help the other 3 non-swimmers in the family. 
Dallin stayed back to help with the littles.  We sent Ruby and Nathan to hit the big slides.  Brandon was back in Idaho helping Grandpa.
It was loud and crowded and hot and hard to talk to and keep track of the kids.
 I was happy they were finally in the water and having a good time. 
Amazingly, they were getting cold.  It really was 99 degrees when we got there, but the water was pretty cold and there was a slight breeze.
We managed to make it over to the lazy river where Simon promptly jumped in with his floaty so Dallin had to go after him before the rest of us had a chance to get properly ready.  We had to wait on the crowded steps for them to come around again.  By now I had Sullivan in the baby floaty with Sarajoy in another one.  A lady stopped and asked if I needed help because I looked so ridiculous sitting on the steps trying to hang onto my newborn lying in a floaty while I blew up the one my 2 year old was splashing around in.  Nathan and Ruby found me there. 
We went once around and Dallin took off with them for a chance to go on some big slides before we had to go.  I took the 4 little ones back to the kiddie pool where they promptly froze.  We got out and toweled off.  They were hungry and thirsty so I trudged over to the picnic area where they make you leave your food.  We left a note in Dallin's shoe. 
We had some snacks and waited.  I think that was more fun for me than anything so far.
It was pretty late when we picked up KFC to eat at home. 

That night, I threw up.

And that started a stressful, rotten day that I was fighting against because it was Nathan's birthday.
I pretty much failed on him not noticing that I was stressed.  It was too obvious.
So on his birthday, he had root canal preps done, babysat most of the day while I birthday shopped, and got peed on by the baby brother.  His Dad totally missed the steak dinner because of work and Scouts.  We won't mention the meltdown his mom had just as he was about to open presents cause his little siblings knocked her ice water all over the living room. 
A few other things happened like me missing Activity Days because of the emergency dental work, getting trapped in an underground parking lot, the baby having a major blowout just when I thought I might get to go to help with the end of Activity Days, forgetting to buy the cake, there not being enough frosting in the first batch, an egg smearing on the counter, the steaks being too thick and raw when we first served them.  And the kitchen was just a mess from us being on the go so much.  And remember that mountain of clean laundry?...still there!  It has been weeks since we took a look at the finances and it keeps getting put off. And we're still all squeezing into a too-small vehicle.  And the price tag for that emergency dental work!  And I can't stop thinking about that house in Woodland Hills.  And am I really seriously going to homeschool next year?

 And I just wanted it to be a special day for Nathan!

Really, it was a day to be forgotten, but it makes for a good story.

I did buy him a milkshake after the root canals. 
And he liked his steak--a lot!
And he liked his presents.
And Brandon called just as Nate was about to blow out the candles, so he didn't totally miss it.
And lots of his friends sent greetings on Facebook.
And someone stopped by and invited him for night games.  I was so relieved that it might redeem the day that I told him he could stay out as long as he wanted. 
He was still home at 10:30. 

He saved his Texas French Toast breakfast for today so the dental work wouldn't interfere. 

It was the start of a much better day.

... 

It Really Is Possible

To have a perfectly wonderful family outing with a group this size.

It seems like so many of the outings we've had in the past few years have been tons of work with little reward.

Saturday was different.

We got home from a week in Idaho at 2am.  We were pretty tired.  We didn't get much done, but we did get the car unpacked.  We even cleaned it out and vacuumed it.  It has been a good 6 or 7 months since that happened.  We tidied up the house and decided to appease Nathan's longing to take his report card in to Krispy Kreme Donuts to get free donuts for A's. 
It was right about dinnertime, and we had some cash on hand, so we decided to take the kids to the Mexican dive we discovered when we were getting our snow tires off a couple of months ago. 
It was clean and quiet.
It was empty.
What more could we ask for our rambunctious bunch?
The food was delicious, with even our pickiest eaters enjoying it.
The whole thing went off without a hitch. 

We were all pretty full for donuts, and the HOT light was off.  Nathan needed a new suit for his upcoming ordination and we were down the road from Burlington Coat Factory.  We decided to come back for donuts after doing some shopping. 
Nathan was hesitant about getting a suit.  I sensed a bit of a power struggle between him and Dallin.  Dallin REALLY loves it when young men wear suits, and he REALLY wants our boys to wear suits when participating in the ordinance of the Sacrament.  Not just a white shirt, but a suit. 
Nathan was definitely leaning in the "white shirt only" direction. 
Dallin said he'd settle for slacks and a blazer. 
I was worried that we'd be there forever trying to appease both parties. 
When we got there, I took Nathan to the suit row and suggested he look around just in case he saw something he loved.
He did! 
They had his size!
I picked up a shirt that was lying on a rack out of the package, and it was his size.
Meanwhile, Dallin was in the shoe department trying to find the match to the perfect shoe he had happened upon.
I sent Nathan to the fitting rooms while I found a selection of ties that I thought would look great with the suit.
The whole thing looked great. 
I took the little kids to the toys and made several trips to the potty while Dallin and Nathan found the package to the shirt and got ready to check out.
No power struggle, no hours searching for the right thing, just easy-peasy.

Back to Krispy Kreme we went.  The HOT light was on! We stood and watched the donut machine for several minutes before ordering.  We ordered and enjoyed and came home to bed. 

Such a blessed, blessed day! 
I felt such happiness and hope that we really can have a wonderful time as a family in public.

..