Scout Camp Widow

Yeah, he's gone.

Again. 

He reminded me that there were 2 years in Spanish Fork that they only had 1 boy and didn't go to Scout Camp, but had he gone those years, this would be his 11th straight year. 

Not that I'm complaining...

My wonderful bishop asked me a couple of weeks ago if I ever felt resentful about the time consuming nature of my husband's calling. 

Have I Ever!

Yes, I have.  But I've gotten better at it over the years.  I know that his calling has brought blessings upon our family. 
His job gives him lots of time for Scouts, but not a ton of money. 
But I believe that the money has worked out for us in part because of the time we've given to Scouts. 
It is still hard to have him gone, and hard to lose him for the days of preparation before.

I was so glad the bishop asked. 
It meant a lot to me that he would understand such a thing.
I'm sure his wife does!
But it also gave me the chance to reflect on something wonderful that has happened.

Scout outings used to be hard for me.
It was hard to be alone at night.  I get scared easily.
It seemed like something major was bound to go wrong whenever he was gone:  stomach flu, basement flooding, major appliance breakdown, closing on a house, etc.
It felt like he was choosing his calling over me during times when I really needed him. 
I'd get upset and feel this huge burden and watch the clock for the hour when he said he'd be home and then get more upset when they were late. 
(I know, I'm a big baby!)
I've gotten used to or learned to cope with all of these things, but talking with the bishop reminded me that

Scout outings are still hard for me.
But only because I really really miss spending time with my best friend. 
I don't like to be away from him because I don't feel whole without him. 
The hours after the kids are in bed and Dallin and I get to hang out are a precious part of every day. 
I look forward to it all day long.
I just miss him.

And it actually makes me smile to miss him like that. 
I'm pretty lucky.

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