Another Giant Leap

I feel like I am standing at the threshold of a new life.
I have to wonder if I am ready for it.
The beautiful Spring weather that we have experienced lends excitement.
But how will I be able to begin adding back the responsibilities that have been neglected these past months?

Today my baby boy is one month old.

Today he was blessed by his daddy.
A powerful reminder of how blessed we are to have this precious little person in our lives.
He was full of dimpled smiles and coos today.
He spent most of the day sleeping peacefully in arms of parents and grandparents.
He even nursed peacefully today, which is rare.  My more than ample milk supply usually leads to a lot of frustration for both of us.  But today it was different, and I am thankful.

Today is the end of Spring Break.

Holidays seem to be sneaking up on me lately.  We didn't really have a plan for Spring Break. 
I didn't even have a plan for Easter.
Dallin and I did last-minute shopping on Friday evening so the kids could get their baskets on Saturday.
It took a long, long time.
We decided we wanted to outfit everyone with bike gear so we could do family bike rides. 
5 new bikes, lots of helmets, and lots of no-flat tires to replace the ones that we're sure will be full of bullheads before we know it. 
I had had Sullivan in the sling for most of the trip.  He loves it, but it is hard on my body that is still trying to recover from pregnancy.
I sat down while my husband checked out.  The checker called for someone to help us get all of those bikes outside.
A man and his teenage son stepped in to help the store clerk who answered the call.
As we were walking to the car, I began to feel nervous.  I knew it would be a trick to get 5 bikes in our mini van.  I knew we could figure out a way to do it, but I wasn't sure I wanted an audience.  I was rather embarassed as they all stood looking at the small amount of space we had available.  They managed to get 3 bikes in.  They were waiting for us to make a decision.  Would we drive the 25 minutes home and come back for the other two bikes.  I was so exhausted and the baby was fussing, and I just couldn't fathom coming back.  I knew we could buy some cables to strap them to the top of the car or buy tools to disassemble them and make them fit, but I was busy in the front seat with the baby. 
Suddenly the man got on his cell phone, and before we knew it he was loading the extra bikes into HIS car!  He was taking on our burden of time and gas and we didn't know him.  He was just a good guy who saw a need and stepped up to meet it.  When we arrived at home, we tried to compensate him but he refused.  His wife informed us that he'd been grouchy that day and needed to do something good.  God bless them!
We had our fun Bunny-Day celebrations.  I filled the new helmets with grass and eggs and candy.  Our ward did an egg hunt.  We assembled trailers and tried out new bikes.  Then we packed up for our trip.
For several months now, I've been thinking that the perfect getaway would be to stay home with Dallin while the kids were elsewhere.  I have no desire to travel or go spend time in a hotel when I have so much I want to do at home that I never get to.  And I like my own bed. 
As Spring Break approached, a plan began to form in my mind:  If we took the kids to Idaho at the beginning of the break, my parents might be able to bring them back for the blessing.
It was, after all, my birthday.  This was my one birthday wish.  My parents were willing, and so was Dallin.
We spent a few lovely days including Easter Sunday with my family.  Tuesday night, we grabbed Sullivan and drove away.  There were a few moments where I felt the tears rising as I said goodbye and gave instructions to my kids. 
And our lovely "staycation" started.  We spent hours and hours having important conversations without interruption.  We went out to eat once every day.  We ran a few errands.  I did laundry and took care of my baby.  We watched a few episodes of  "Lark Rise to Candleford", a lovely BBC miniseries that I fell in love with during the last weeks of pregnancy.
We didn't get nearly as much done as I thought we would.  Caring for this baby takes up so much time.  So does living moment to moment and enjoying one another.
Being at home made me miss the kids more than I would elsewhere, but it was a healthy kind of missing.  I knew they were happy and we'd all be happy to see each other in a few days.  I did get emotional when the day came and I held my baby girl again.  She just wanted to be sure I still had the baby boy with me! 
Having that 4 day break from them gave me time to think of each of them and renew my desire to give them my time. 
Today is the kind of day that it is easy to rush.  I got a little wound up getting ready for church, but I did my best to be present and helpful to my kids.  I want to try harder to understand them instead of just correcting behavior.  After church, Simon and Sarajoy followed me to my room.  I knew there were guests in my kitchen waiting for our luncheon to start, but I chose not to rush. 
I took a moment to kiss Sarajoy's cute little back as I changed her out of her church clothes. 
We sang the sharing song as she shared a piece of candy from her basket with Simon.
We marvelled together at our sweet baby boy in his blessing outfit.
Then we went down and ate and enjoyed our family.  It was a small crowd with both sets of grandparents, Dallin's brother, and my sister who drove alone for 3 hours with her 6 kids just to spend a few hours here and drive back.  Having them here made the day so special for all of us!
I was so desperately in need of rest when our guests left after a lovely luncheon and visit.
But as soon as I crawled into bed, the kids started trickling into my room. 
Simon was eager to climb on and play with his daddy.
Brandon was curious to see the bits of the miniseries I was sharing with Dallin.  Then he sat by me and held the baby and asked questions about blessings.
Daisy came in remembering she was only a few Bob Books shy of her goal of reading all 50.  She brought the basket up, only to find it completely mixed up and out of order. 
Ruby came in to reorganize it while Daisy read a few other books to me instead.
Sarajoy was already in bed after a fun and napless day playing with her "fend" Merin.
I was kind of sad that Nathan never came up.  He is so independent these days.
Then it was bedtime for the little ones and Dallin went on a short bike ride with the older kids.
Then we had our family meeting.
And now it is nearly 10:00 and I have not rested and my body aches and my head aches and I wonder how I will ever survive this coming week, this coming season of my life?
I know I will struggle, but I hope I can manage to capture joy and slow down and live moments now and then.  I hope I can stay close to the Spirit and use this time for growth.
There are so many people in my life that it is worth doing it for.
Love really does make it all worth it.