Becoming One With the Bumbo

Pictures taken April 25, 2010

Where does bumbo end and baby begin?

I remember my other babies going through a stage where they wanted to sit up so much, but couldn't.  I often wished for a chair just like this.  When the bumbo came out, I was so excited.  I was even more excited to have one handed down to me because they're pretty expensive. 

Sarajoy completely skipped the "I wish I could sit up" stage.  She just started sitting up at 4 months old.  She actually likes the bumbo now than she ever has.  She likes being close to me while I work in the kitchen, and she likes it better than her high chair.  She always starts tapping her feet as soon as she gets in.  I sing, "Take your little toes and you tap your toes.  Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap your toes.  Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, your toes. Tap your little toesies!"  This is a song I learned way back in my very first playgroup when Nathan was young.  Well, Sarajoy loves it just as much as Nathan did!

Sabbath

I finally got one!  A Sunday that felt restful.  Ahhhhh.

With all of the work yet to be done, I knew I would be tempted to work on the house today.  So I resolved last night that I would only do Sabbathy things today.  I knew I needed to give my mind and body a rest from the intensity of the last few weeks. 

I got everyone ready with enough time to spare to work on Sarajoy's baby calendar.

Sacrament meeting was a sad failure, but I got to talk to somebody in the hall!

My friends sat and visited with me during Sunday school while I got the baby to sleep.  I was inspired with a way to help one of them.  I'm so excited to do it!

I got to sit through all of the combined 3rd hour meeting.  It was ward conference, so our Stake Presidency did the lesson.  It was very good.  My good idea from earlier was confirmed. 

After church, I made lasagne, ate lasagne, made cookies, cleaned up lasagne, and got to eat cookies with my friend Valerie and her family.  We had such a nice, relaxing evening.  The kids did a few cute and silly performances for us.  My favorite was when Simon and the girls came giggling out of the bedroom.  He was wearing a BYU cheerleading outfit.  "Mom!  I weird!"  He had that right.  A leotard and tutu came next so I drew the line and got out his Superman PJ's. 

After they left, I was REALLY tempted to work on the house.  I read my scriptures instead.  Then I had time to BLOG!  YAY! 

In my haste to get the house ready to put on the market TOMORROW, I totally forgot to do laundry last week.

I refuse to do laundry on the Sabbath. 

I'm kinda glad my husband doesn't mind, though.  Heh, heh.  Thanks to him, it is sorted and a batch has already gone through.  I'll totally get it done tomorrow!  Thanks, Dal. 

So I won't Forget

Cosleeping.

Its one of those love-hate things for me.

I SWORE before I had kids that they would NEVER sleep in my bed!

So for a few months while Nathan slept with me I was SO frustrated.  I was hanging on to that "never".
Thankfully, I didn't mind so much during the day.  We had lots of cuddly naps together.  Nurse, read, and sleep.  That was my life.  I felt So busy!  How funny that seems now.

Brandon was another story.  Not the great sleeper that Nathan was, I would have given anything for Brandon to curl up with me in bed and nurse to sleep.  We eventually discovered that not only did he need his own bed, he needed his own room!  So I didn't sleep with Brandon much.

Ruby was a super sleeper.  I adored every minute I spent with her as an infant.  Even at night I felt like it was a privilege to pull her into bed with me and nurse her back to sleep.  We started working her into her own bed around her first birthday.  When she would wake up at night, she wouldn't cry.  She'd just sweetly say, "ma?"  If I didn't respond, she'd say it more.  "ma?  ma?  Ma?  MA?"  I couldn't resist.  So I'd get up and nurse her and put her back in bed.

I think Daisy would be happy to still be nursing.  That girl wanted to be attached to me at all times.  She pretty much was.  When I could no longer stand her thrashing me all night, I moved her into her own bed.  So Nathan would climb in with her to help her go to sleep.  I would go in and nurse her every couple of hours all night long until she was nearly two.  I stayed that night with her in her bed.  The night I weaned her cold turkey.  We snuggled and talked and cried together.  The next night and mostly since then she has slept through the night.

Why don't I remember sleeping with Simon?  He was more like Brandon.  Not much of a snuggler.  He didn't like nursing, either.  Went on strike for 2 whole months from 4-6 months old.  I pumped faithfully.  But I think he always slept in his own bed.  Maybe we had a nap or two together.  He quit nursing completely before he was a year old, and started sleeping through the night soon after that.

Sarajoy has been a roller coaster.  Sometimes she loves to cosleep, other times she can't stand it.  She was sleeping pretty well in her bed for awhile, and then she just stopped.  Then Simon started waking a lot at night as well.  So Sarajoy and I sleep in my bed while Dallin sleeps on the guest bed in Simon's room.

Cosleeping is HARD for me.  I don't really like having to sleep in one position all night.  I like to sleep on my stomach sometimes, I don't like to be kicked and pushed, and I don't like worrying about the baby tumbling off the bed.

But there is something so deliciously warm and wonderful about a chubby baby clad in a terry sleeper that is just irresistible!  And the sweet dried milk on her round rosy cheeks--Yummy.

So when Sarajoy wakes up at night, I have mixed feelings.  I mostly want her to go back to sleep in her bed and let me be.

But I usually smile as we snuggle down together, her little body fitting snugly up against mine.

See you in the morning, Dallin....


...

Grandpa Roger

What a cute Grandpa my kids have! 

I'm so thankful for my wonderful father!  He enjoys being a grandpa about as much as anyone I know.

The kids know from when they're tiny that Grandpa means love.

Hugs, snuggles, wrestling, tickling, all the movies you could watch, all the fast food you could eat, ducks and geese, riding in the lawnmower wagon--better yet, riding in Grandpa's lap and helping him steer, honey bees, pretty flowers and trees, old spice after shave, family history, cozy naps, silly songs, always a smile,
and always

love.


...

April Shadows

April 2010

My husband Dallin loves words.  He loves to play with them.  He reads dictionaries to find new words.  He creates with them.  He studies poets and their poetry.  He challenges himself to use different forms and styles.   I am glad he has this outlet.
  

On my birthday, he took Simon out to play so I could enjoy some creative time myself.  

It became a poem.

April Shadows
  
There’s a lot to be learned about the art
of shadow separation
by a two-year-old
oscillating
in
a red-
seated swing
fastened to a bare apple
tree on a brisk and windy day in April.

(Dallin Millington April 2010 )

Lights

I am not recovering from cancer surgery that removed my leg like my friend J.
I am not recovering from skin cancer surgery while dealing with arthritis and my husband's brain injury like my friend S.
I did not get hit by a car while riding my motorcycle like my brother S.
I did not recently lose a sibling like my friends J and A.
I am not trying to keep my house, run the family business, milk the cow, and chase 1 year old twins around while my husband works out of town for weeks and weeks like my friend J.

I only got a puncture wound from a pair of scissors while gardening.  But it hurt so badly that for awhile I would have given up my finger to have the pain go away.  And then I had to get the tetanus shot.  And maybe my immune system couldn't handle it, because the next day I woke up with a nasty cold and laryngitis.  And my babies are sick too, so I don't get to sleep. 
So I find myself today being dragged back into that awful pit of darkness.  That place where I struggled for so many months.  I was only just in the last month beginning to feel human again.  I thought it was behind me, and I was beginning to wonder what all the fuss was about.  I was beginning to forget. 
I've felt myself slipping the last few days and remembering and fearing.  I've taken vitamins and pills and begged the doctor for antibiotics.  Make this sickness go away fast!
Please, don't make me go back there!  It was feeling so good to be productive again. 
But today I walked in pain and darkness.  The smallest request or need from my children seemed like it would drain me completely.  Hopeless.

During scripture time, Dallin read about Samuel's prophecy.  He mentioned the 3 days of darkness when Jesus died, and then the Savior coming to the people.  He brought light.  Dallin testified that Jesus is the light that can bring us out of darkness and depression and sin. 

Dallin knew that I was not feeling well, but he had no idea of the emotional turmoil I had experienced today. 

I thought about what he said, and I wondered what light could lift me who was almost beyond wanting to be uplifted. 

I thought about my day and little fireflies began to rise and dance about me.

Sarajoy giggled when I taught her the sign for milk.

Lena came this morning and we got to laugh and chat while we drew smiley faces on shirts for day camp.

Dallin brought me a plate of fudge from work at lunch.

I got to play frog math with Daisy.

I got to take some tulle to my friend whose daughter is into ballet and wanting a tutu so badly.

The dog food that has been sitting in our garage for 18months since we gave up Ginger finally got put to some use.  I got to see my friend's dog Jasmine's 7 roly poly puppies gobble up their first solid food.  Delightful.

My boys cheerfully made dinner while I rested on the couch. 

Ruby gave me half of her candy bar that she earned in piano class today.  She also made me a paper dog with a glitter collar. 

The CMA at the doctor's office was a returned missionary who was making such an effort to be friendly.

When I came home from the doctor, there was a house full of kids excited to see me.

Simon's eyes sparkled while I was changing his diaper.

When Dallin went to replace the disposal, he discovered that the one we have works just fine.  We saved $100 by returning the new disposal.   

I have a place here where I can pour out my heart, stand back, take a deep breath, pray for my friends,
and smile.


...

Moving

We have decided to get our house ready to put on the market to see if we can get more or better land. I think I have experienced every possible emotion in the last few weeks.

Excited to think about fulfilling a dream and making a new place ours.
Sad to think about leaving our incredible ward family.
Overwhelmed at how much work we have to do to get this house ready and prepare to move.
Thoughtful about the many sweet and wonderful memories made in this house over the past 7 years.
Frustrated when I feel helpless about things that need to be done.
Hungry because I forget to eat.
Tired because my mind races all night long.
Worried that I won't get what I want.
Confused about whether what I want is right.
Achy from so much hard work.
Scared that I will have to unpack all of this stuff I'm packing up!

Happy

Because...

I know that whatever happens will be good because through the Savior I have learned to be content.

I have a wonderful healthy family.

I have friends who care and who help.

I am embarking on another wonderful adventure with my best friend.